1 I never did chase down that DN I drafted a few morning's ago.
2 I do remember the first word.
3 It was this: "Whew!"
4 It was the perfect first word, because I felt EXACTLY the way you do when you say, "Whew!"
5 It's such a relief.
6 I don't remember much more except that I went off on a lunatic tangent about how the word ties in with breathing and life and outer space and even little green men in yellow flying saucers.
7 Only I was naturally much more expressive than that.
8 Honestly.
9 No, for REALS though.
10 It really was a terrific little piece. It was one of those things that when you're done writing it, you smile, smack the desk, and bolt out the door.
11 I said, "Whew!" as though the entire universe had been sucked through a cosmic vortex, filtered its way through my skull and expanded into my lungs. The "Whew!" was the exhaling of all those stars and emptiness back into space.
12 It had something to do with having gotten through the first Monday after New Years, which is pretty much everybody's whew.
13 Somebody told me that they had read somewhere the first day back after New Years is the most stressful day for everyone.
14 In fact somebody told me that just last week.
15 Where do they come up with these things?
16 It's similar to the student who told me that Nostradamus predicted the world was going to come to an end in 2012 because all the planets are going to line up. Hey, he'd know.
Nostradamus
17 I'm not sure if that was New Year's Eve, 2011, or what. He didn't know either; he just heard it.
18 I love how scholarly we've all become.
19 It seems that every New Years we have some guy walking around in a towel with a sign that says "The End is Near". Happens in times of war and during hard economic times as well.
20 I'd bet the house that the end ain't anywhere near near.
21 Of course, my house is now valued at around a buck-fiddy.
22 I told that student I was going to go look that up to see what his source is. If it's Wikipedia or below, you can bet it's probably WAY true.
23 fjdkfldjfkldjfkjdf;jf;ajf;djf;dfsdjfaf;sdfjd;fjdskfjdsf.
24 Yeesh.
25 That's not as effective as a post-New Years "Whew!"
26 The thing about me saying immina do things nowadays is that my senility prevents me from fulfilling those boasts.
27 I honestly can't remember things anymore, or I don't want to. If I see a top-notch movie, six months down the road I won't remember that I ever saw it.
28 Short term I'm fine; I can remember yesterday's lesson, for example.
29 What's really scary is that I see this happening to LOTS of people.
30 The other morning I opened the cabinet with the plates.
31 The corn starch container sat on the top plate.
32 For example.
33 Nah, that DID happen, but I'm not THAT bad.
34 Yet.
35 It makes no difference anyway; the world is going to line up with all the other planets on December 31, 2011, causing certain doom.
36 Why even trip?
37 Anyway, I'll be sure to let you know all about Nostradamus and all that.
38 I promise.
39 Well, I promise right now that I'll try to remember.
40 Play the song and roll the credits.
41 Peace.
~H~
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