The Daily News
1 IT'S NOT FRIDAY???
2 Ever have one of those Thursdays?
3 Just happened.
4 Thursday nights are garbage nights in my area.
5 Last night I was about to take the garbage out to the street when I remembered it was Wednesday.
6 You know how it is. Once the idea that it is a day later occurs to you, you keep thinking it is a day later.
7 I woke up into the late four a.m. and smiled, because I knew it was Friday, a classic fly-low day in Cali.
8 And then the horror emerged.
9 The reality set in.
10 It's THURSDAY???
11 Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.
12 Normally I'm a Thursday sort of fellow. I usually love it because Wednesdays are meetings' days, and you know how much I loves me some meetings.
13 Because of state testing, we didn't have meetings yesterday, a rare Wednesday sans meetings.
14 It wasn't a skate, mind you.
15 I still had normal life irritations happening. They never go away.
16 It foreshadowed yesterday when my students departed, and I shouted at them, "Don't forget you have a vocab test tomorrow!"
17 <basketball buzzer> "It's Thursday Mr. H! Our test is on Friday!"
18 And later into the night I almost put the garbage in the street.
19 And now I awaken to Thursday.
20 Moving on, Part the First: If you have to error about what day it is, your best day to error is probably Thursday.
21 Still.
22 I wake up screaming. I swear to you.
24 Hey.
25 If waking up a day early is my problem, I got no problems.
26 I pretty much eliminated the word problem from my vocab years ago.
27 I once talked with a few positive, spirited young people who convinced me that we should replace the word "problem" with the word "challenge."
28 It has worked swimmingly.
29 Ha.
30 "Swimmingly." I watch too much TCM.
31 "Darling, you handled that challenge swimmingly!"
32 "I couldn't have done it without you, darling!"
33 I love it.
34 Moving on, Part the Second: Phoebe the Pooch doesn't seem to care what day it is. She thinks it is time to get up, and keeps slipping out to our living room looking for a handout.
35 I slept an extra hour last night because I got to bed later than normal, so she is disoriented. I gave her breakfast, which is done every night. I split her breakfast into two halves. She gets the first half during my insomnia, and the second half way later in the morning.
36 She's disoriented because she thinks it is later than it is, and I think it is Friday.
37 Confusion abounds.
38 We exist on a space ship that seems to have entered a weird time warp.
39 Normal things aren't happening here on a Thursday.
40 The coffee should have come on.
41 It has not.
42 Is it set?
43 I don't know.
44 The clock radio, which ordinarily pops on at five a.m. sits silent, like someone who wants to tell you something.
45 Everything else is happening ordinarily, but the universe seems at odds in a clumsy sort of way this morning.
46 If the clock were at 5:59 I would feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.
47 Classic.
48 I remember once seeing some meme likening medical school to Groundhog Day. Same day. Over and over.
49 Okay, the real world has finally awakened.
50 The clock radio has begun blasting me with KGO's staccato bad news. The only reason I listen to KGO anymore is for morning traffic. That station deserves nothing more. It is owned and controlled, and were it not for traffic, I would boycott it with a bullhorn.
51 The coffee is bubbling calmly, as always. Coffee. Fresh brewed coffee. Nice.
52 Phoebe, my little Charley, has been spoiled with her second breakfast, and will surely benefit from all the confusion.
53 I have normally already written this rubbish and have gone back for a few more hours of sleep.
54 It's okay, because it's Friday, right?
55 Argggggggggh!
56 I'm going back to sleep for around fifteen.
57 Meanwhile, have a GREAT Thursday.
58 Fly low, and leave yourself enough petrol for tomorrow.
59 See you again.
60 Peace.
~H~
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