April 4, 2012
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1 Wow, long week.
2 Yesterday's rehearsal was awesome.
3 I had a rough go, but the rest of the cast of Grease rose to the occasion.
4 We had hit a critical moment on Monday, when a lack of energy and focus had set in. Spirits were a bit down as the rehearsal had lagged.
5 David stayed later than he had planned, and made sure that the cast understood the high seas that can sometimes happen during a show.
6 Yesterday turned everything around. We added a few new songs, and much of the singing improved dramatically. Morale was massively energetic the entire afternoon. While some things didn't work, most of the show went wonderfully, particularly the Hand Jive stuff. These guys went a hundred miles an hour on that number, and it played quite well.
7 Personally, I had one of the worst rehearsals ever. My cough had returned, and I had no idea if it would intrude on my song or not. I wasn't the least bit nervous, as I have put countless hours in practicing at home. I was more concerned with somehow establishing some Stanislavski truth to a rather bizarre character.
8 I felt pretty comfortable when I took the stage, and Kelly played her role of Frenchy magnificently. I felt fine, but wanted to add a few minor touches that might help move the plot forward and give my character bit of a human touch.
9 It sounds silly if you are a Grease fan, because this character tends to be translated as an over-the-top mockery and a cheap laugh.
10 As a teacher, and as a guy who has been around theatre for years, I didn't want that. I saw this guy as a sort of teacher who uses a bit of mockery to get a message across to a kid who was going in the wrong direction.
11 All right, perhaps an over-analysis of a poorly written character, but my thoughts focused on playing the truth of the character, however poorly written.
12 Unfortunately, right in the middle of the song I felt this cough coming on strong. It had returned the day before yesterday, and it had foreshadowed itself in one of my lectures earlier in the day.
13 What it does is some post-nasal thing that completely interrupts the voice, causing an almost complete stranglehold on the vocal chords. I wasn't thinking too heavily about it. I was more interested in giving my interpretation of the character some focus and direction.
14 I had watched a series of other actors who have interpreted the part, and I was impressed with a revival that Taylor Swift had done with the part.
15 He brought in a bit of a human character to this odd part, giving the character of Frenchy some hope, rather than being a mean guy who mocks the girl. When he sings, "If you go for your diploma, you can join a steno pool," he looked up to the lights and guided Frenchy with a bit of hope, which I thought was sweet.
16 Kelly played her part famously, looking both entranced and confused, and everything felt right.
17 As I approached her, and then looked out at the lights, some sort of huge crack suddenly hit my vocal chords and shattered the tune. I had felt it all afternoon, but figured I could head it off, but somehow it snuck up on me and destroyed all the notes.
18 David came from the audience with a script and took over the song. I naturally pulled back and let him complete the as I stood shattered wondering what had just taken place.
19 I knew it was something I had no control over, but was still a bit mortified. All was going wonderfully up until that moment.
20 I didn't want to over-react, because it was clearly something I had anticipated, but that I simply couldn't ward off.
21 I was sort of horrified, because I had been moving in such a positive direction, but I also knew it wasn't me; it was just a sort of physical thing that had come out of nowhere.
22 I have had trouble with the song all along. The lyrics have been a bit difficult, and the register is exactly between my chest voice and my head voice. It's a tough song, but lots of songs are tough. They require practice, which I have done, and I have still had difficulties with the song. One song. It is almost unbelievable.
23 My Catholic guilt made me feel that I had stopped a good rehearsal, and that I had somehow let the entire company down. I should be a role model, and here I was self-destructing live and on stage.
24 I gathered myself pretty quickly, as the show had to continue, and the students had to deliver.
25 Fortunately for all of us, they did. I got over my personal humiliation and quickly joined in to the fun spirit that these young people had.
26 I won't spoil David's curtain call, but we worked on that later, and it is sensational!
27 In the end, we all joined together knowing that we were working on something that was special. David told the cast that we are defining musicals at the school, and that historically, we need to kick ass.
28 This was my dream in 2007. I wanted the Evergreen community to have an annual tradition of awesome musicals in that area of San Jose. I even suggested Grease to the department, but they were still trying to establish themselves.
29 I think Grease is a fairly raunchy show, to be honest, but one that has wonderful music and dancing. It is also poplular, as well as being a huge money-maker.
30 Had I been the drama guy at the time, Grease would have been my choice as the first musical in the school's history. The public loves the show, despite it's odd script and other shortcomings.
31 The songs are legendary, and really quite fun. It is up to the cast to give it some sort of truth.
32 My thoughts at the time were that a rollicking version of Grease would create a community of theatre in our area that would probably last forever. I was willing to work for free to make that happen.
33 That's why I went down a few months ago and sat in on auditions. That is why I have joined the show. I still believe in that dream.
34 This year a director who is amazingly like me came in and thought the same thing. Right before auditions, he and I had ironically been put together as a team to administer the California High School Exit Examinations. It was just before auditions, and we both talked Grease silently while the students took the exams.
35 Call it what you will, but I saw it as a bit of fate. I could have been partnered with any other teacher, but our dreams of bringing quality theatre to the Evergreen areas met and joined as one.
36 So here we are.
37 I had a personal setback yesterday, but regardless of whether I could nail this tune or not, I am obligated to going the distance on this show. The students did wonderfully yesterday, and things are looking pretty good.
38 I went home a tad depressed that I had somehow let everybody down, but I guess that's all a part of it.
39 Fortunately, Helene told me to keep practicing, morning, noon and night. She said it was absurd that I was worried about singing; we sing all the time. I have a mic and my guitar all set up in my office at home, and I sing constantly, and have very few moments when the voice collapses like that.
40 It was a physical thing, but I must confess it did attack my mental insecurities.
41 Ironically, when I see other cast members going through those sorts of showtime moments, I look them in the eyes and say, "Fear nothing," almost as a sort of tongue-in-cheek joke.
42 It all works out in the end.
43 I really do fear nothing. But sometimes we do question our abilities, and sometimes we do feel a bit cut off at the knees.
44 I felt terribly like that last night. I feel much better now, thanks in large part to Helene, who saw me as a tad wounded, and questioning my own abilities to deliver.
45 She pretty much told me to fear nothing, and I want to thank her publicly for her strong support. I feel wonderful as I chart these words out to the adoring masses.
46 I nailed the song several times last night, and feel much better. We have our band coming in tomorrow, so I'm hoping today I can restore amends.
47 We'll see.
48 I sure hope I can bring it.
49 I can't control what is physically happening, but I can certainly control what is mentally happening. Regardless, those students are giving it their all, and I fully intend to ride this extraordinary roller coaster to closing night. If my voice doesn't go there with me, then I don't mind being replaced.
50 Whatever happens, I am still on board and willing to do everything in my power to make the dream come true for not only the cast and crew, but for the community.
51 Wish us all luck.
52 Or broken legs.
53 Either way, it's great to be back! I'm having a ball, and this group is a wonderfully talented and supportive group.
54 I'm into the 3 a.m. Already had four hours sleep. I had better go down now. Gotta rest that idiotic voice of mine.
55 Have a great Wednesday.
56 And a special thanks to Helene; I won't put your good advice to shame.
56 Peace.
~H~
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