February 15, 2012
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The Daily News
1 So…Freddy Solomon walks into a bar…
2 Former Niner, great human being.
3 Freddy died of colon cancer at the age of 59. A sensational player who started out his career as a quarterback, Solomon was an outstandingly fast wide receiver, famous possibly for being the guy who was originally the intended receiver on the famous Catch by Dwight Clark in the 1982 National Football Conference Championship game against Dallas. On that play, Solomon slipped, so Montana went into a play called Sprint Right Option and found Clark in the end zone for one of the most famous passes in NFL history.
4 Freddy was more than that though. He was THE star prior to Jerry Rice, and to this day is considered one of the best ever.
5 It’s ironic that his passing made little news. It must have been that he didn’t do drugs, nor get pulled into the cocaine/heroin-soaked world of stardom and of Hollywood glamour. Instead, he went on to become a fastidious coach who insisted that players tuck their shirts in and stay focused.
6 Here is a nice article from yesterday’s online New York Times for those of you who might wish to read more about Freddy:
7 Moving on, Part One: I’m glad Valentine’s Day is over. Valentine’s post-candy sales always rock. I’m not a big candy eater, but right now, you can get chocolate almost for free. I strongly suggest you do so. All you need isn’t love; all you need is chocolate. And Betty Grable, a great man once said.
8 Plus the flowers that would have cost you nine-thousand dollars yesterday are probably about a buck-twennynine today. Valentine’s Day is up there with worst nightmare holidays, right beside New Years Day and April Fools. I always felt sorry for people who had no Valentines, or who maybe had just gone through a traumatic break-up, even when I was but a lad.
9 Don’t get me wrong. I never suffered a lack of Valentines. My Dad worked for Wonder Bread/Hostess, which meant we had free Twinkies, Cup Cakes, Ding-Dongs, Suzi-Q’s,Sno-Balls, Ho-Ho’s,and all the rest. He would get all the leftover stuff and bring boxloads of that healthy stuff home, making me one of the most popular guys in the neighborhood.
10 It never occurred to me that I wasn’t the coolest guy in town, because I had utterly no problem finding friends, nor Valentines for that matter.
11 You got sweets, you got friends. I was pretty cocky for a guy who was otherwise just another neighborhood schlep. I learned all about social skills at a very young age: just dazzle them with Twinkies.
12 Ironically, in my adult life, I haven’t had a Twinkie, Sno-Ball, or Ho Ho in a billion years. I don’t know if it is because I had so many of them as a child, or if it because I just outgrew them.
13 It may have something to do with the nation’s obsession with dieting and healthy eating. For some reason, things like Hostess sweets swim against the tide.
14 Can’t imagine why.
15 While cruising the web for pictures and things, I did stumble upon a Hostess wedding cake, which gave me hope for mankind. Here ya go:
16 Amazing.
17 Moving on, Part the Second: I have often been accused of having had a Leave it to Beaver childhood, which is pretty close to true. I sometimes think my life was much closer to Kevin Arnold from The Wonder Years, a show that was named after an old commercial for Wonder Bread.
18 The commercial began, “These are the Wonder years, the growth years…”
19 I never associate my Dad with Twinkies and stuff. That was all fluff. The Twinkies and stuff existed in a huge box that lived in the garage and that was re-loaded almost every other day. I think of that stuff as almost work-bench food. It was pretty much a part of the garage.
20 But I do think of the Wonder Bread when I think of my childhood, and of Kevin Arnold. The red, yellow, and blue balloons were cool to me. When my Dad drove a truck in San Francisco, I used to get to go on deliveries, not the least of which were hot dog bun deliveries to Candlestick Park. We would get to go into the stadium and sit out in left field after a delivery and watch the Giants’ batting practice.
21 I loved it. Dad once got me a toy Wonder Bread truck, and I absolutely loved it. I don’t know if it is still at the house, but it’s a perfect excuse to get up and see him again. Greatest Dad in the world. Some might argue otherwise, and why wouldn’t they?
22 A few years ago I went into some dollar store and found a Wonder Bread sandwich holder that snapped shut. I thought it was the greatest. I got it for Dad for Christmas. He doesn’t want junk. He just wants a mild laugh. He smiled. It worked.
23 Ironically, I haven’t bought a loaf of Wonder Bread in my entire adult life.
24 But I do enjoy watching re-runs of The Wonder Years. A couple of years ago they had re-runs playing at around ten at night in Tahoe. What a perfect show about growing up in America. What a perfect thing to do at ten at night in Tahoe.
25 As I recall, it holds up pretty well.
26 White bread. I’m tellin’ ya.
27 I’m a Yankee Doodle Dandy.
28 Yankee Doodle-Do or Die.
29 Moving on, Part the Thoid: We again approach the 4 a.m. Can’t seem to stop it. This means putting today’s DN to bed, or perhaps in the oven for a few. Short shrift, but kind.
30 Life goes on.
31 Hope you all have a wonderful day.
32 See you again.
33 Peace.
~H~
