March 14, 2008
-
The Daily News
1 So no sooner to I see a glimmer of hope when I gander through the headlines yesterday.
2 The first thing that struck me was that Little Saigon knucklehead who is starving himself because people won’t do what he wants.
3 If the guy was standing on the Golden Gate Bridge about to jump, authorities would see to it that he keeps himself safe from himself.
4 I understand the guy’s sentiments, and a large part of me agrees with him.
5 But yeesh.
6 What a horrible thing to do to people who know and love a person, or the children in his family. D00d, demand a vote, go democratic. Petition. But killing yourself publicly is not getting any sympathy from this guy. Sorry.
7 Anyway, I was just having lunch goofing on that guy. You have really to ask yourself: Is Story Road really worth killing yourself over? Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo…
8 I turn the page and staring right at me while I’m eating is the following headline:
Woman
perched
on potty
2 yearsHER SKIN HAD GROWN
AROUND TOILET SEAT9 Her boyfriend had this to say: “She is an adult; she made her own decision. It was my fault, I should have gotten help for her sooner.”
10 Uh…do ya think?
11 Evidently it’s okay to watch other human beings self-destruct these days, even when they’re clearly not playing with a full deck.
12 She was sitting on a toilet for two years! It didn’t occur to the guy that there just might be something wrong with her?
13 She had to wear the seat to the hospital.
14 The sheriff who was on the case was ironically named Mr. Whipple.
15 Ya gotta believe.
16 And then this gem: 800 dogs found in mobile home.
17 How does NOBODY notice that? Fathom that number. Some adults are just incapbable of making decisions.
18 Ah, I was just goofing on all of this at lunch today.
19 Moving on: I hear Brian Sabean was scouting Billy Crystal the other day.
20 Ah, you can run but you can’t hide.
21 Moving on, Part the Second: There’s stil a modicum of hope. I went up to the Chill last night to watch our wind ensemble’s last performance before departing for Carnegie Hall, and they completely blasted all of us right through the ceiling. They just rocked the house and received a hometown standing ovation.
22 That’s as it should be. Sometimes that happens.
23 As it should be.
24 Governor Spitzer apologized for getting caught.
25 As it should be.
26 Never trust a moralist, I swear to you.
27 Sort of why I relish being the worst role model in the history of education.
28 Hey, it’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it.
29 I better go; too much grousin’ today.
30 Y’all keep it moral, willya?
31 And if some adult is showing signs of being a knucklehead, hey help a brother out.
32 Have a great weekend everybody.
33 Peace.
~H~
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