January 6, 2008
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hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
The Daily News
1 Happy New Year!
2 I didn't grow a beard during the holiday.
3 War over yet?
4 I actually began writing this DN on January 3rd. Don't know why, really except that I was lying around watching Craig Ferguson. Evidently Letterman and Ferguson support the writers and have supported them.
5 So.
6 2008.
7 Some storm. It got so windy the other night that I had to use the toupee I got for Christmas as a parachute.
8 Total C.I.A. I dropped through a skylight at the Louvre. Undetected.
9 Nah. I'd never wear a toupee. I just made that one up. Didn't really happen.
10 I don't even know how to pronounce "Louvre".
11 So...let's see what's out there. 2008. Cameras everywhere. They're watching.
12 Yep.
13 My writers have been on strike, that's apparent.
14 What this first DN of the new year needs is a little eye candy, just to spruce things up.
15 Here ya go. I just googled World's Most Beautiful Woman and just look:
15 Hey, well now THAT's a fun google!
16 Magic.
17 I just submitted "World's Most Beautiful Woman" and look who's suddenly here!
18 Well, there were some others, but I think this is the winner.
19 All right, all right! This is a cheap, sexist means of getting people to read the DN.
20 I'll even it out. How about Craig Ferguson as Prince Charles?
21 That's a little better. Gotta love the ears. They're those things attached to the end of your beeeeg smiles. And I mean, just LOOK at that guy.
22 A lot classier than all the wimminz in the world, however beautiful.
23 Craig is the man.
24 Granted, it wasn't fair. First off, Aishwarya Rai won CBS's World's Most Beautiful Woman. But I voted her off the island. First, she looks too much like the Cheers Kirstie Alley, and second, she was voted by CBS, which is clearly Illuminati, and therefore not qualified to judge wimminz. Those guys like de menz, especially de menz dressed like de wimminz.
25 To be fair, I googled World's Most Beautiful Men, but I realized too soon that not being a member of the Illuminati myself, I was really in no position to vote.
26 Those old secret-handshake Bohemian buddies know their men.
27 And Ferguson should win just because I think he's a kick in the pants.
28 So how's THAT for a rocky start to the year?
29 Ya gotta love it.
30 By the way, it's pronounced "Loove".
31 Write it in your hearts.
32 Great to be back. Here, have a picture of Emerald Bay I took last summer.
33 It's a new dawn.
34 Peace.
~H~
http://www.xanga.com/bharrington
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