January 12, 2006

• The Daily News

  
  

  

  
  

  1  I’m up again at some ungodly hour watching Craig Ferguson, and what a Godsend. Is anybody else tuned into this guy? His show is one of the best on television, it’s just on when even the owls are sleeping, or at least, when they don’t give a hoot.

  
  

  2  So he’s just a wonderful kick in the seat of the pants each night that I go through my bouts of insomnia, for which I’m famous, at least in my own frabjous mind.

  
  

  3  The irony of this week is that the students can’t GET the DN because I keep not having paper! How ridiculous is THAT? But are you ever out of something like paper, or salt, or something that you ALWAYS have around, and you just don’t give it a second thought until you NEED it?

  
  

  4  Nah, i guess not.

  
  

  5  I must be the ONLY guy that happens to.

  
  

  6  What an imbecile.

  
  

  7  One thing that always comforts me every time I do something WAY stupid, or when I feel ANYTHING inside, for that matter, is the confidence that EVERYONE does stuff that makes them feel like an idiot.

  
  

  8  It’s comforting to know that we are a world filled with idiots, all trying to cover it up with our goofy outward faces.

  
  

  9  So for all you idiots out there, and I KNOW you’re out there: fear not. You have glorious company.

  
  

  10  Nothing like insomnia for bringing out the poetry in a guy.

  
  

  11  Once again, Finals remain my REAL winter break. The students spend days on end being serious, studying, taking  classes seriously, and kissing teachers’ asses.

  
  

  12  Teachers LOVE watching kids squirm this time of the year. We get to get even, and to turn into uptight, insecure slobs. “SOOOOOOO, you want EXTRA credit, huh? Well listen, HOMES, you know that nice long vacation you’ve been taking from your brain? Coffee break’s over, dimbulb! EXTRA credit you say? Pardone moi while I LAUGH hideously and make you feel like the squirmy little rodent I’ve grown to love!”

  
  

  13  HA!!!

  
  

  14  Revenge, they say, is sweet.

  
  

  15  Hmmm. Did I say “turn into”?

  
  

  16  So just SUFFER, you untractable vermin!!! Get LOW, kneel before me, and kiss my pinky ring. Say ten times, “I am humbled, O great sage!!! I shall feel guilt for being a kid and acting stupid, and I shall now see that you are the wisest, most intelligent AND important sage in my shallow little world, and I should pray thanks to JAY-zuss for allowing me the wonder of your miraculous presence in my life!”

  
  

  17  With a hey-nah-nonny and a ha-cha-cha!

  
  

  18  So…your grade in my class walks into a bar…

  
  

  19  Did I ask earlier this week if there was a back door outta this place?

  
  

  20  Because really, I just need some serious sleep. Ferguson’s over.

  
  

  21  I don’t give a hoot.

  
  

  22  Enjoy the rain.

  
  

  23  Peace.

  
  

  

  
  

   

  
  

  ~H~

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

   

  • 4:23 am
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