May 8, 2013
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The Daily News
1 SHARKS!!! SWEEEEEEEP!!! FIRST TIME IN HISTORY!!!
2 Had me scared for a bit.
3 OKAY. I think it's time we start to make some ground rules for Bay Area Sports.
4 Dudes.
5 We LOVE our teams.
6 Except the Giants, at least for a moment.
7 I can say that because I bleed orange and black.
8 But dudes.
9 The number one ground rule, of course, is to kick everybody else's butt.
10 That rule is tantamount.
11 The second rule is this: Win in nine innings. Win in regulation time.
12 You have fans.
13 Rabid, hard-working fans.
14 Overtime and extra-inning thrillers must pump your blood.
15 They pump ours too.
16 Only a lot of us have to get up and go to work early.
17 Keep that in mind.
18 I can't imagine what it must be like to be a Bay Area sports' fan who lives on the East Coast.
19 I'd probably have to give up sports, because of the time differential.
20 My west coast bed time is between 8:30 and 9:30.
21 I need my beauty rest, as anyone who knows me knows.
22 I not only have to get up early to write this mumbo-jumbo, I also have to stand in front of people for hours on end
talking.23 If I walk in looking like something the cat drug in, I would be the only one listening.
24 Yesterday I didn't look like something the cat drug in, even though I slightly felt like it from the Warriors horrific loss the night before.
25 I scrubbed up, shaved, put on bright clothes, and even wore my Disney hat, which my daughters bought for me. It came directly from
Disneyland. I wanted to look like the All-American Guy.26 The trouble is, I was returning from an absence.
27 Returning on a Monday following a weekend is tough enough for me most times, so I always make sure I am tanned, rested and ready every
Monday. I am usually WAY more prepared than I should be on Mondays, just so I am on the offensive. It is like preparing for a sporting event.28 Most people are pretty dumb about Mondays.
29 Not this sly fox.
30 While everyone else tries to squeeze in late barbecues and parties, I am reading and preparing for Mondays each Sunday.
31 And it is still AMAZING how out of sorts even a person who is prepared for Mondays can feel first thing in the morning.
32 Returning on a TUESDAY following a family memorial and not being as prepared AND following a horrific Warriors' double-overtime loss to the Spurs
was anything but a good formula.33 I was still prepared, but early on I was a bit out of step. I let down my guard during my morning class. I lectured, had materials all set, had my story sequenced, but by the time I was able to let the students watch a bit of Julius Caesar, the cell phones were out, and I looked out in horror to see that nobody was paying any attention.
34 That was only one class, but it was my early class. I decided not to start my week with talking to them about how utterly rude that was, or giving them a pop quiz today. It was my own fault.
35 I patched it all up immediately during my second class of the day, and for the rest of the day I became vigilant. I had the story down by nine a.m.
36 I still messed up a bit on the sequencing and names in the story.
37 Storytelling has always been a strength for me, but when you tell stories, then read summaries, then present excerpts from the text with personal commentary, and THEN show how it all sequences with scenes from a film, it is easy to screw up somewhere: to mix up a name, or to mix up the sequence, that sort of thing.
38 Okay.
39 That didn't come out right.
40 Let me see if I can illustrate with an example. Remember that I am up against a deadline here.
41 In Julius Caesar, Cassius has a plan to write letters from the citizens that cry for the removal of Caesar from a position of power. They aren't really from the citizens, they are forged by him. He then intends to throw them into the house of Brutus in order to convince him to join he and his cronies in killing Caesar in public that very morning, the infamous Ides of March.
42 There is an entirely different scene that same morning, when Brutus is having fears and doubts about joining the conspiracy. He begins a soliloquy similar to Hamlet's To Be or Not To Be soliloquy, only it is more like To Kill or Not to Kill. Joseph L. Mankiewicz, the director, has this beautiful shot of James Mason as Brutus hanging around a bare tree, beginning his recitation. He suddenly stops and calls a boy named Lucius to bring him a taper, or a candle.
43 I inadvertently told one class that the reason he needed a candle was so that he could forge the letters from the citizens.
44
45 And throw them into his own house.
46
47 This is what happens to you when you are trying to multi-task following a Warriors' horrific loss.
48 I'm still not really sure why he asks for a candle. I think it shows that he is frightened of the night, and of the storm, and of the darkness.
49 For the record, when I teach stories, I usually re-read them each year, make lots of notes, and have everything bulleted and in order. I do scan ahead on the classics, but even with the best of preparations, it is easy to mix things up a bit, or to say the wrong name, especially if the same story is being taught in all five classes, which I do on occasion.
50 I had that same thing happen a couple of years ago when I taught The Odyssey. Greek stories are filled with prophecies, and then the fulfillment of prophecies. The trouble is, if you are telling the stories because you can no longer have class sets of books, it is quite easy to forget mid-period if you are in the middle of telling the prophecy or of the fulfillment of the prophecy.
51 That is why a teacher has to stay on his or her game, every single day, every single period.
52 I must confess I did say that about Brutus because I simply mixed him up with Cassius, and today I have to go in and straighten some of that out.
53 The kids will laugh. They know teachers make mistakes. It is impossible to be in front of people every single day and not have a mistake or two happen.
54 That is why I go Disney early in the week. If I look like I just fell out of a bus, I would be one of those old geezer teachers who should be run out of Dodge.
55 I could FEEL like that, especially after a double-overtime loss that kept me up an hour and a half after my bedtime, but I must NEVER look like that.
56 As I have gotten older, I have realized that I no longer want to look good, I just want to avoid looking bad.
57 Disney dapper works for me.
58 You can get away with having a guy write letters and throw them into his own window if you look like you are running the Jungle Cruise.
59 Anybody looking?
60 Just thought I'd share. I'd love to report every day that everything always goes wonderfully up at the Chill, but it doesn't. It does more than it doesn't, but every once in a while, it just doesn't.
61 I ain't trippin'.
62 But I'd better get a bit more rest.
63 See you again.
64 Peace.
~H~
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