March 11, 2013
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English Rocks.
The Daily News
1 My first encounter with Pinterest. Corny English jokes.
2 All corny English jokes are courtesy of my beautiful daughter Caitlin.
3 Ya gotta love it. English rocks and Stonehenge are my own. Used ‘em before.
4 Whoops. Dog’s awake.
5 You see, I’m into either the one a.m. or the two a.m.
6 Daylight Saving Time.
7 The last thing an insomniac needs is DST.
8 The very last thing a dog needs is DST.
9 The last thing I need is DST.
10 Don’t get me wrong.
11 Once it’s in place I like it.
12 It’s just the initial adjustment causes a lunatic insomniac like me even more lunacy.
13 As usual, there is a coincidence attached to this morning’s revels.
14 TCM is playing Howard Hawks’ The Big Sleep.
15 Sometimes the planet turns in strange directions.
16 AnywayZ
17 Happy Daylight Saving time.
18 What do ya want me to do, count three like they do in the movies?–Philip Marlowe, any time someone has drawn a gun.
19 What a movie. In the movie, there are two different times a gun is drawn. Each time, that line is pointed, and it somehow works.
20 I swear that movie is all about Bogart and Bacall.
21 It just ended and after having watched it at least nineteen times in my life, if you put a gun to my head I couldn’t tell you the plot.
22 You’d have to count to much more than three.
23 Moving on, Part One: I am thoroughly convinced that I am now well into the two a.m. DST. It messes with you, that’s for sure.
24 The dog got confused and went back to sleep.
25 Whew.
26 At least that part is over.
27 Daylight Saving Time.
28 Yeesh.
29 Moving on, Part Two: There is some boushit short on right now about the discovery of America, and of immigration. Evidently only Europeans immigrated to America. I never knew that. They all came from England, Scotland, Germany, Sweden, etc. I always thought that most immigrants came from Mexico, Africa, Indonesia, Vietnam, Iran, etc. How’d I get that one wrong?
30 Walking directly toward the camera just now were two oxen in a yoke.
31 “Yoke” was one of my vocabulary words the week before last.
32 I even put an illustration of oxen in a yoke on my English 2A list.
33 I told my students that should the yoke ever crack, it would be a bad yoke.
34 My students started throwing fruit at me.
35 Can’t blame them.
36 In yet another coincidence in a year of incredible coincidences, the bit at the top of this piece about Why English is Hard to Learn has oxen in the second sentence. Thanks for that piece, K.T.
37 Moving on, Part the Thoid: On Friday, three or four other teachers came into my classroom after school, just one of those water-cooler meetings one has with colleagues at work. The topic of meetings came up, a recurring DN theme.
38 I brought up that English meetings are usually the worst because English teachers majored in pondering. Want to hear a yoke?
39 How many English majors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
40 Does it have to be a light bulb?
41 Or
42 English majors don’t screw in light bulbs. That’s the problem.
43 M’ bad.
44 Anybody looking?
45 I can say all this because I’m an English major.
46 It is now into the three a.m. I’m quite certain of it.
47 In just a bit the sun will be up, and I will need to go outside and milk the oxes.
48 Oxen. Pardonne-moi. Did I spell that right?
49 People are going to read this and storm my home with torches and loud shouts, especially French people.
50 I think I’d better quit while the quittin’s good.
51 It’s Monday.
52 Fly low.
53 See you again.
54 Anybody looking?
55 Peace.
~H~
www.xanga.com/bharrington
