January 30, 2013
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The Daily News1 My day has been booked for me.
2 Lately I have had the fortune of having everyone on Earth booking my dance card.
3 I’m just rolling with it, but it is officially annoying.
4 Yesterday I got my entire lunch booked for today. That means that I have work, and then meetings from now until 6 p.m.
5 Can’t wait.
6 It’s okay. I will probably bring some performance-enhancing drugs, like Crystal Light and baloney.
7 What else can I be?
8 Sometimes I feel I’m being stalked.
9 At my age, that’s pretty flattering.
10 I’ve learned to be patient with all of this.
11 Everybody else’s world seems more important than my own.
12 Sound familiar? I speak on behalf of Everyman/Everywoman.
13 What do you expect from 2013?
14 Everybody has to work twice as hard for some reason.
15 Of course, I think it’s all a conspiracy to turn us into zombies.
16 Whatevs.
17 I (We) no longer sleep. I just nap at intervals in order to please the rest of the world.
18 The rest of the world.
19 What the world needs is a good night’s sleep.
20 When I talk about my own world, by the way, I’m talking about all of our worlds.
21 We have what I have called “scramblers” in our lives.
22 Scramblers are people who wish to pencil us in on their dance cards. They think nothing of taking our time away from us. They are everywhere in the working world. They put us on constant Stacy Alert.
23 Never mind.
24 Reference to a grand old movie.
25 Wayne’s World is officially a grand old movie.
26 I can’t quite call it a classic, because it isn’t black and white.
27 The entire concept of Stacy Alerts is charming.
28 Stacy is symbolic of anybody who comes walking at you that you want to avoid.
29 Scramblers.
30 I’m not even sure it’s a good word, but somebody had to put a word to it.
31 I got scrambled like crazy yesterday. I already had this day scrambled due to a monthly meeting I somehow got myself into. That’s the one that takes me into the six p.m.
32 My only break today got booked for me through a phone call I was idiotic enough to take yesterday.
33 Good person, but booked my only break of the day for a meeting.
34 I technically don’t have to go to it.
35 But it’s a person who works really hard, and I am willing to sacrifice.
36 So sometimes scramblers are good people. They just think nothing of kidnapping your time.
37 And this week is especially booked, since I had not only the meeting that runs until 6, but a weekend taking care of my Dad, culminating in a Super Bowl party on Sunday, more than likely at his house, which is an hour away.
38 That’s a lot of hours not home taking care of business.
39 I decided to ride this rollercoaster, because somewhere in all of this is an element of good deeds and fun.
40 Today, however, is going to be murder. Three meetings.
41 Here’s something you might not know about me. I hate meetings. I don’t hate too much in this life, but meetings destroy me.
42 I realize they are necessary to any business or institution, because everything revolves around accountability.
43 It always reminds me of Mel Brooks in Blazing Saddles. He is the governor, and his jacket says “Gov” on the back. He calls a meeting with his constituents and opens with the classic line, “Gentlemen, we have to protect our phony-baloney jobs!”
44 Ah, perfect.
45 So I simply have to go in today with that message, and then avoid Stacies.
46 I assume that is the plural spelling of Stacy.
47 Well.
48 I’ve certainly gotten off to a good start.
49 It is now into the four a.m. and I’m booked for the next twelve hours.
50 I don’t mind an attempted escape right now.
51 Gottago. Scramblers. Stacies.
52 They steal your world.
53 I think if I escape now that I’ll be fine.
54 I hope you learned something in all of this.
55 That’s my job; that’s my nature: hoping people learn things.
56 It takes a lifetime to learn things, and what you learn is that you never learn.
57 Gottago.
58 Have a GREAT day. Keep an eye out for scramblers.
59 See you again.
59 Peace.
~H~
