1 So it is well into the five a.m. and I have had a spoonful of this space-age food called Nutella, and a re-heated cup of coffee. I have become George Jetson.
2 For whatever reason the new coffee pot didn't cook, but I am Mr. Technology, as anyone knows, so I kept yesterday's coffee in a glass on the sink soes that should the new coffee pot frown on my day, I could still do a re-heat, or an ice milk, depending on my mind frame.
3 My mind frame is fine. I've just been battling technology since yesterday afternoon.
4 Listen: The last week of school right before Christmas should be eliminated from the planet.
5 First off, it is dead week. Traditionally, Ponch and I would blast Grateful Dead music each morning of dead week. The students for the most part never made the connection, except the smart ones.
6 I couldn't get that one off yesterday because the first day of dead week is explaining to the students why they are not entitled not to learn.
7 "Mr. Harrington, you're teaching us new things this week? But it's dead week!"
8 Evidently I'm supposed to review everything they have learned since August this week.
9 Uh...no?
10 I sort of get that, but if you are a good teacher, you have been reviewing things each day, and each week. The entire concept of teaching something once, and the reviewing all of it after four months is archaic.
11 I don't live in the past.
12 Don't get me wrong. I LOVE visiting the past, but I don't live there.
13 My feeling as a wise old fool is this: if five teachers go all the way back to August to exact revenge for all the goofing off students have done, then they should get into another profession.
14 We do have this wonderful sort of final that works with a brief review, and it is put out by the District. It's called the Benchmark, and is a one-hour test, not a two-hour one.
15 This week I am reviewing the grammar and reading stuff I taught, and that will certainly be on the Benchmark. I am confident that they will do fine. They always do.
16 I am also moving forward with my lessons, teaching new things and new stories.
17 The Benchmark keeps them in check, but doesn't force a massive review that dates back to August. Rather it is a natural review of things that have been taught and already reviewed. It has little impact on the final grade, and really works as a nice review, at least in my kind eyes.
18 The students are frantic. They are being bloodied by vengeful sorts who think, "So...you didn't want to pay attention to me! Well then!"
19 I'm just kidding.
20 There are teachers out there who do lick their chops at a sort of "getting even" game they have no idea they are playing.
21 I just keep teaching, and for a final I have them write about issues that came up in the course of the semester, usually involving literature.
22 It has little impact on their grades, but is instead a sort of ritual they must go through in order to land their semester grade.
23 It usually results in an awesome piece of writing, because students organically magnify their talents when they believe their semester grade rides on a piece of writing.
24 It actually doesn't.
25 Not in my class.
26 My philosophy is this: their grade is pretty much already established. If you were a student in my class, and you have done all your work for the past four months, and that grade is accumulative, then it is probably the semester grade you will receive. If you are a baseball player, and your batting average is .302, then you will probably get a semester grade of .302. Make sense?
27 My philosophy is that your semester grade should be based on the effort you put forth all semester, not on some tricky long test at the very end that could lower your average to .250, or raise it to .325.
28 My results?
29 Each year my students produce a piece of writing that is well beyond what they have shown up to this point. They know to use the grammar/writing skills I have taught. I tell them that they need to put that stuff to work.
30 I know full well that they are trained to stress finals, and to put everything they have into them. It's a part of the game. And a large part.
31 Even though their finals aren't going to radically affect their grades, they know that this is reality.
32 I measure what they have learned grammatically on the less stressful Benchmark, which I give points for simply taking. It replaces a more stressful vocabulary test, so they are more relaxed when taking it.
33 That test measures their knowledge of grammar, and is examined by the District, and archived. It is the real final, in terms of what they have learned.
34 And they can be graded in one hour, since they are "bubble" tests.
35 The written finals can now be graded over the Christmas holiday, but I grade them rapidly, because there are fewer corrections needed on the simple basis that they are labeled a "final."
36 Seasoned veteran over here.
37 It is SO CIA.
38 Moving on, Part the First: All talk.
39 So what is the down size of all this talk, do you ask?
40 Technology.
41 I use technology like a madman. I have always loved computers and all, but sometimes they just decide to fail.
42 In order to give the Benchmark, we need to go onto this website and get the answer sheets that go to the test.
43 The data base that I use took me all afternoon yesterday just to remember my password(s), and also had changed their entire format to meet a national audience.
44 I think.
45 All I know is that the links that are in a folder I made last year no longer exist. They included the instructions on how to acquire the answer sheets.
46 I spent all afternoon trying to get the answer sheets to the Benchmark, and finally gave up and went home.
47 That's a guy thing. We don't ask for directions.
48 I'll ask someone for help today, but I was completely dazzled that clicking on "Help" was useless. Not user friendly at all.
49 I'm still going to cancel the vocab test Friday and pencil the Benchmark in as a replacement. I think the students will psychologically like that. The Benchmark is not a threat, even though it will maintain what they have learned in archives that stay for five years. I think five years. I don't remember, honestly.
50 So this is intended to be a glimpse at finals from a seasoned teacher's perspective.
51 I used to make long tests with hundreds of questions. I used to have a revenge sort of mindset. Here is what happened: the students would finish the test within an hour, and I would have a second hour to babysit. I couldn't put on a movie, or do anything because the test technically takes two hours, and there would ALWAYS be students who would not finish.
52 Instant zoo.
53 So as of this writing, I'm still trying to figure out a way to get those answer sheets run and ready. Once we have them, they are keyed, and in the system. Right now, they have changed the system to something that makes no sense.
54 That's where I am on this Tuesday morning. Oh, and I'm pretty short on lesson plans because all my time got eaten up yesterday.
55 I'm goin' in. No fear. I'll dazzle them with charm, and with just hanging in there lookin' purty.
56 Wish me luck.
57 Gottago. That's finals. That's the way they go down from the perspective of this Old Brown Shoe.
58 Inside look.
59 See you again.
60 Peace.
~H~
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