1 If you are a poet, one of the most ignoble topics you could present would be that life is laundry.
2 I once wrote a poem and thought it would be wise to include the verse, "that life is laundry I never knew."
3 I thought it was such a wonderful concept because of its absolute truth, but I was at the time young and quite full of myself.
4 At the time I was pretty up to my ears in underpants.
5 I had just emerged from college and thought, "Well really! How much of our time do we spend in front of a washing machine?"
6 As I aged, I just thought that the concept was way too banal and sophomoric for a poem.
7 Yesterday our meeting was, as expected, pretty short and sweet. Stay with me.
8 I threw a diatribe about meetings out there yesterday, and it went exactly as I had expected.
9 No news.
10 This gave me the time to come home and to grade papers and to get some work done. I was so excited.
11 <breaks out the root beer and whistles>
12 I got home, set everything up, and got into more comfortable clothes.
13 I usually do laundry immediately upon getting home so that I keep up on that stuff, so I took off my bewilderingly glorious teacher clothes, which consist of a pair of jeans and any shirt and tie, put on a pair of shorts, and carried said clothing to the washing machine in the garage.
14 Full.
15 I opened the dryer.
16 Full.
17 I stood there with my clothes in my arms, holding them as though they were a sacred shroud.
18 Life sometimes screeches to a complete halt because of laundry.
19 "That life is laundry I never knew." <insert bird music.>
20 Some day I'm going to retrieve that poem, and I will become a wandering hero.
21 But right now I'm waiting for my pants to dry.
22 Moving On, Part the First: I am feeling like it would be a good idea to erase my head this morning.
23 Don't get me wrong.
24 I love Thursdays.
25 But teaching is such a 24/7 job when it is on that I can't get my head going unless I use a corkscrew.
26 I have a bewildering amount of nonsense and astonishment causing pauses and skepticism here in the 5:35 a.m.'s.
27 I'm staring at my computer screen thinking about laundry and leaves.
28 No rhyme nor reason.
29 At some point I have to get up and get groomed soes that I can look pretty.
30 Monumental task.
31 I also have to keep thinking of what to write soes that I can entertain, and cause hot oatmeal to plow through nostrils.
32 My bare feet are doing some odd tap dance while I think.
33 <tappity tappity tap tap tap>
34 It's a writer's thing.
35 If you write, you get this.
36 Laundry.
37 Right now I'm thinking, "Thank God for laundry."
38 I think my dog just farted.
39 Goin' south, but honestly!
40 It's like this invisible brown hue.
41 Moving On, Part the Second: No news man. We should all thank the lawd, the Creator of the Universe, Joe-the-Bear, or whatever other entity we relish for no news.
42 Dog farts and laundry.
43 Slow news day.
44 I loves me some Thursdays.
45 Autumn Thursdays.
46 I think I missed an eclipse.
47 There will be others.
48 Anyway, I think I gotta bail.
49 The dryer just buzzed.
50 Have a random day.
51 And thank someone for something.
52 Or something. Do your clothes.
53 I'm out.
54 Peace.
~H~
www.xanga.com/bharrington
The Daily News1 If you are a poet, one of the most ignoble topics you could present would be that life is laundry.2 I once wrote a poem and thought it would be wise to include the verse, "that life is laundry I never knew."3 I thought it was such a wonderful concept because of its absolute truth, but I was at the time young and quite full of myself.4 At the time I was pretty up to my ears in underpants.5 I had just emerged from college and thought, "Well really! How much of our time do we spend in front of a washing machine?"6 As I aged, I just thought that the concept was way too banal and sophomoric for a poem.7 Yesterday our meeting was, as expected, pretty short and sweet. Stay with me.8 I threw a diatribe about meetings out there yesterday, and it went exactly as I had expected.9 No news.10 This gave me the time to come home and to grade papers and to get some work done. I was so excited.11 <breaks out the root beer and whistles>12 I got home, set everything up, and got into more comfortable clothes.13 I usually do laundry immediately upon getting home so that I keep up on that stuff, so I took off my bewilderingly glorious teacher clothes, which consist of a pair of jeans and any shirt and tie, put on a pair of shorts, and carried said clothing to the washing machine in the garage.14 Full.15 I opened the dryer.16 Full.17 I stood there with my clothes in my arms, holding them as though they were a sacred shroud.18 Life sometimes screeches to a complete halt because of laundry.19 "That life is laundry I never knew." <insert bird music.>20 Some day I'm going to retrieve that poem, and I will become a wandering hero.21 But right now I'm waiting for my pants to dry.22 Moving On, Part the First: I am feeling like it would be a good idea to erase my head this morning.23 Don't get me wrong.24 I love Thursdays.25 But teaching is such a 24/7 job when it is on that I can't get my head going unless I use a corkscrew.26 I have a bewildering amount of nonsense and astonishment causing pauses and skepticism here in the 5:35 a.m.'s.27 I'm staring at my computer screen thinking about laundry and leaves.28 No rhyme nor reason.29 At some point I have to get up and get groomed soes that I can look pretty.30 Monumental task.31 I also have to keep thinking of what to write soes that I can entertain, and cause hot oatmeal to plow through nostrils.32 My bare feet are doing some odd tap dance while I think.33 <tappity tappity tap tap tap>34 It's a writer's thing.35 If you write, you get this.36 Laundry.37 Right now I'm thinking, "Thank God for laundry."38 I think my dog just farted.39 Goin' south, but honestly!40 It's like this invisible brown hue.41 Moving On, Part the Second: No news man. We should all thank the lawd, the Creator of the Universe, Joe-the-Bear, or whatever other entity we relish for no news.42 Dog farts and laundry.43 Slow news day.44 I loves me some Thursdays.45 Autumn Thursdays.46 I think I missed an eclipse.47 There will be others.48 Anyway, I think I gotta bail.49 The dryer just buzzed.50 Have a random day.51 And thank someone for something.52 Or something. Do your clothes.53 I'm out.
54 Peace.~H~
