MEETINGS???
ARGGGGH!!!
The Daily News
1 Is it just me or is the entire world getting younger?
2 Rhetorical question.
3 Just thought I'd throw that out to everyone, because it seems to be happening to everyone.
4 You blink and you're a hundred.
5 You just have to look at it in terms of your age relative to the history of the universe, and your worries will end.
6 The nice thing about getting old is that you don't care about a lot of stuff anymore.
7 For example, we have some sort of meeting every single Wednesday, because the meeting gods demand it.
8 Someone else demands it of the meeting gods.
9 Those demands are often originating from someone who THINKS they know more than the people in the trenches.
10 The demands are often ridiculous and unrealistic.
11 The meetings are often confusing and convoluted.
12 This is true of most corporations, companies, state services, etc.
13 So the beautiful thing about realizing that you are young in the universe despite your years is that you really don't take too much of that sort of thing seriously.
14 I have been to enough meetings to look up and say that I don't think there has been one meeting that has changed me in any way except to make me hustle around and do more things I have no time to do.
15 A roll of the eyes.
16 They should have a world ban on meetings. They should be restricted to maybe two per year.
17 It would help every corporation, company, state service, et al save billions of dollars in wasted monies, because they have to still PAY people to attend those meetings and workshops. They have to PAY people not to work for a couple of hours.
18 They have to PAY people to goof off on their cell phones and talk with their friends about how stupid many of the requests are, and how much wasted time the employees are going to have to spend just to prove that the workers who do the actual work are doing the actual work.
19 As I youthen, I smile at all of it.
20 I have watched it for too long, and it no longer bothers me.
21 I bottom-line exactly what sort of boushit they want, and give back stuff on paper.
22 They LOVE people who give back stuff on paper.
23 I just try to decipher what all sixteen-thousand educational experts want us to produce, and put it into normal language.
24 If you want to make a hit at a meeting, the first thing you need to do is to understand the reality of what this new expert has to say, and what it is they want as a result of the meeting.
25 You then write something that is really logical and understandable, that you know from experience will probably work, and throw it out there.
26 You submit something logical on paper.
27 And then the meeting will go away until the next meeting, when the big guns are going to come in and start declaring doom and gloom unless you do whatever miracle it is they want from you.
28 And the circle, it goes round and round.
29 Pound for pound.
30 Moving on, Part the First: Yesterday they canceled the meeting originally scheduled for today and threw an insta-meeting into the laps of our department chairs.
31 What this does is it puts pressure on the department chairs to come up with something instantly. They have to put all of their grading aside, and lesson planning aside, and come up with something that will result in something coming out on paper.
32 In the past, I have headed off this sort of thing by reading ahead of time what the "theme" of the meeting will be. I will often bring something logical to the meeting just in case they need something.
33 It usually meets the outline of the meeting and is on paper. I often make twenty copies of it just in case the wheels start coming off. I then lie in the weeds and say very little. No point prolonging the meeting.
34 I also often don't reveal it if the meeting is taken up with other stuff. I have a sort of rainy day file that can shortcut stuff and get paper into the hands of the accountability people when they need it.
35 You produce anything on paper and you come out looking like a genius.
36 That's the wonderful thing about being young in the universe.
37 You know how stuff works.
38 I STILL abhor meetings.
39 Worst part of any job, with the exception of that one person who irks you.
40 I don't have any of those right now.
41 If one person irks me now, I just ignore them. This will irk them even more, but I have too much to do than to waste time petting the dog who has issues.
42 Does all this sound familiar?
43 Because this stuff isn't designed simply for education.
44 It pretty much sums up all sorts of jobs, or any other sort of organizational structure that thinks it runs best on meetings.
45 People just want to do their jobs and not be bothered.
46 Honestly.
47 I'm a heretic, as you can plainly see.
48 A heathen of the worst sort.
49 Sue me.
50 I just always think back to Mel Brooks' Blazing Saddles. There is a scene where Brooks is heading a meeting. He is wearing a suit with the word GOV on his back. His first words: "Gentlemen, we have to protect our phony baloney jobs!"
51 Hilarious. Here's another movie reference to how I feel each time I leave a meeting:
52 Each time I leave a meeting I feel like King Kong, trying to save Fay Wray while being attacked by airplanes and holding on to the tip of the Empire State Building.
53 It's getting into the 3:30 a.m. and I'm talking about King Kong and Fay Wray.
54 Add to cart.
55 I gotta bounce.
56 Have a great day.
57 Peace.
~H~
www.xanga.com/bharrington
The Daily News1 Is it just me or is the entire world getting younger?2 Rhetorical question.3 Just thought I'd throw that out to everyone, because it seems to be happening to everyone.4 You blink and you're a hundred.5 You just have to look at it in terms of your age relative to the history of the universe, and your worries will end.6 The nice thing about getting old is that you don't care about a lot of stuff anymore.7 For example, we have some sort of meeting every single Wednesday, because the meeting gods demand it.8 Someone else demands it of the meeting gods.9 Those demands are often originating from someone who THINKS they know more than the people in the trenches.10 The demands are often ridiculous and unrealistic.11 The meetings are often confusing and convoluted.12 This is true of most corporations, companies, state services, etc.13 So the beautiful thing about realizing that you are young in the universe despite your years is that you really don't take too much of that sort of thing seriously.14 I have been to enough meetings to look up and say that I don't think there has been one meeting that has changed me in any way except to make me hustle around and do more things I have no time to do.15 A roll of the eyes.16 They should have a world ban on meetings. They should be restricted to maybe two per year.17 It would help every corporation, company, state service, et al save billions of dollars in wasted monies, because they have to still PAY people to attend those meetings and workshops. They have to PAY people not to work for a couple of hours.18 They have to PAY people to goof off on their cell phones and talk with their friends about how stupid many of the requests are, and how much wasted time the employees are going to have to spend just to prove that the workers who do the actual work are doing the actual work.19 As I youthen, I smile at all of it.20 I have watched it for too long, and it no longer bothers me.21 I bottom-line exactly what sort of boushit they want, and give back stuff on paper.22 They LOVE people who give back stuff on paper.23 I just try to decipher what all sixteen-thousand educational experts want us to produce, and put it into normal language.24 If you want to make a hit at a meeting, the first thing you need to do is to understand the reality of what this new expert has to say, and what it is they want as a result of the meeting.25 You then write something that is really logical and understandable, that you know from experience will probably work, and throw it out there.26 You submit something logical on paper.27 And then the meeting will go away until the next meeting, when the big guns are going to come in and start declaring doom and gloom unless you do whatever miracle it is they want from you.28 And the circle, it goes round and round.29 Pound for pound.30 Moving on, Part the First: Yesterday they canceled the meeting originally scheduled for today and threw an insta-meeting into the laps of our department chairs.31 What this does is it puts pressure on the department chairs to come up with something instantly. They have to put all of their grading aside, and lesson planning aside, and come up with something that will result in something coming out on paper.32 In the past, I have headed off this sort of thing by reading ahead of time what the "theme" of the meeting will be. I will often bring something logical to the meeting just in case they need something.33 It usually meets the outline of the meeting and is on paper. I often make twenty copies of it just in case the wheels start coming off. I then lie in the weeds and say very little. No point prolonging the meeting.34 I also often don't reveal it if the meeting is taken up with other stuff. I have a sort of rainy day file that can shortcut stuff and get paper into the hands of the accountability people when they need it.35 You produce anything on paper and you come out looking like a genius.36 That's the wonderful thing about being young in the universe.37 You know how stuff works.38 I STILL abhor meetings.39 Worst part of any job, with the exception of that one person who irks you.40 I don't have any of those right now.41 If one person irks me now, I just ignore them. This will irk them even more, but I have too much to do than to waste time petting the dog who has issues.42 Does all this sound familiar?43 Because this stuff isn't designed simply for education.44 It pretty much sums up all sorts of jobs, or any other sort of organizational structure that thinks it runs best on meetings.45 People just want to do their jobs and not be bothered.46 Honestly.47 I'm a heretic, as you can plainly see.48 A heathen of the worst sort.49 Sue me.50 I just always think back to Mel Brooks' Blazing Saddles. There is a scene where Brooks is heading a meeting. He is wearing a suit with the word GOV on his back. His first words: "Gentlemen, we have to protect our phony baloney jobs!"51 Hilarious. Here's another movie reference to how I feel each time I leave a meeting:52 Each time I leave a meeting I feel like King Kong, trying to save Fay Wray while being attacked by airplanes and holding on to the tip of the Empire State Building.53 It's getting into the 3:30 a.m. and I'm talking about King Kong and Fay Wray.54 Add to cart.55 I gotta bounce.56 Have a great day.57 Peace.~H~
www.xanga.com/bharrington
