November 27, 2012
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The Daily News
1 Okay.
2 They're on to me.
3 My students.
4 <Looking over shoulder>
5 They're lurking in the bushes.
6 They have ten-dollar binocs from Wal-Mart.
7 My students.
8 Yesterday I walked into my classroom.
9 I knew immediately that I was in an old movie.
10 I even wore my 40's wiseguy hat so that it would augment all the mugs in JFK.
11 I really didn't need to augment the JFK lesson until my second class, so I decided to make a really smooth move and frisbee it so that it would land on top of the overhead in the corner of my desk area. I wanted it to land at the tip-top, so that it would look like the projector was wearing a hat.
12 I've done it hundreds of times, but yesterday it flew just over the top and instantly shot to the back of my file cabinet.
13 I stood there KNOWING someone saw that, and that it must have been hilarious, like a guy with a top hat walking toward an open manhole, stepping on thin air, shooting down, and his hat following in perfect stride. Silent movie. Chaplin stuff. Silents.
14 Fortunately my students were too busy sharing Thanksgiving stories, so my slice of humble pie went unnoticed.
15 But they're on to me.
16 After that, one of my more brilliant students who sits about five feet from my desk quoted a piece of my Daily News, a story in which he starred. Something I wrote last week, but time doesn't permit me to remember exactly what it was.
17 He just mumbled it and looked at no one in particular.
18 I recognize my DN, write thousands of words a week, but it was obvious the delivery was for my ears only.
19 He looked up and I said in my best wiseguy voice, "So. You're on to me."
20 The quiet implication is that the Daily News AND my alumni/colleagues' Facebook has been discovered by my students.
21 I figured it was inevitable.
22 What they don't know is that I don't really care.
23 Historically, the DN was designed for students.
24 It was a means of communicating years ago with the cast of Guys and Dolls.
25 We had a huge musical at Yerba Buena, and trying to communicate with cast, crew, band, etc. was a bit difficult, so I started posting this folderol on the wall of the Performing Arts' building.
26 I just numbered stuff, gave a notes as to who needed to be where at what time, and then pontificated on the state of the world, or on the state of sports, or on the Rolling Stones, or on the stupidity that often surfaces in education.
27 It eventually morphed into that.
28 Now it is just morning foolishness, and moral decay, as anyone knows.
29 It is designed to make hot oatmeal shoot through the nose.
30 It is designed for morning coffee and hangovers.
31 By hangovers, I don't necessarily mean alcohol hangovers.
32 There are hangovers that occur from every day or night before the next day.
33 They include mid-terms and all-nighters for college folk, tests upon tests for high school students, worrying about kids and dogs for the middle aged, and waiting for the next shoe to drop for all the old timuhs.
34 So join the club, kids. You're welcome to jump in and waste your time reading this crap. Just realize it is all a lark.
35 And you are a large part of the lark, so lap it up.
36 Welcome to the wide, wonderfully idiotic world of the Daily News.
37 Moving on, Part the First: I'm on a fast sched today. I got home yesterday and Phoebe the Wonder Dog couldn't stand up. I "rushed" her to emergency in Campbell. It took about twelve years to get from the Berryessa area to Camden Avenue/Dell street.
38 I took 17 during commute, which is akin to attempted suicide.
39 I took Yahoo! maps' advice, which was poor. This was at around 5:30 in the afternoon on the Monday following Thanksgiving.
40 I got on without getting sideswiped by the ridiculous amount of morons who somehow manage to get drivers' licenses, and the was instantly told to stop by the CHP.
41 He waved his flashlight into the eyes of everyone advancing on him and yelled, "Stop!"
42 A three-vehicle wreck that clearly began with someone being stupid had occurred maybe fifty seconds before I arrived on the scene.
43 The CHP dude was still throwing debris to the side of the road, and one guy in some beat-up old car moved across with his wobbly wheels and got to the side of the road.
44 It looked like everyone in the wreck was okay, but I had a dog that needed to get to emergency right in the Highway 17 cross-hairs of Campbell.
45 The entire thing was a six o' clock nightmare. Lights flashed into my eyes blinding me so I couldn't read signs that I had a millisecond to see, so the delay frustrated and agonized me.
46 Phoebe just chilled in the back seat. She's a great car dog.
47 When we got there, she was able to walk pretty well. That's what she does. She seems sick, and when she gets to a vet, shows no symptoms.
48 There was only one other family there, whose old dog was having serious concerns. A teen-age girl was in absolute tears, and the mom and dad had red rings around their eyes. They had to bring the old guy in on a gurney.
49 I looked at Phoebes and she looked fine, just a little nervous, which she always is when she is at a vet. But her condition looked more and more like she had simply slept wrong.
50 After waiting for around 45 minutes, I heard some laughter from the other room. I think they might have taken care of that other dog.
51 Meanwhile, people arrived in droves. The room had around ten people in it when I again looked at Phoebe and decided it was better for those other people's dogs to get treated. If she was okay, at least 'til today, why take up the time of the people working there?
52 So I finally explained that I was going to duck out and take care of her tomorrow, since it clearly wasn't the emergency I thought it was.
53 I went outside and ran into an ex-student from the drama days, Karena Ramirez. Doggy had been hit by a car, and they were worrying, but it looked okay. We caught up and had a great chat.
54 To Karena and your family, if you're reading this, just know that we're all rooting for you and for your family. Prayers.
55 Moving On, Part the Second: That's about all I could muster this morning. I slept through the night and wrote all of this early this morning.
56 So to my students: I'm glad you're on to me.
57 Welcome to the fold.
58 I gottago.
59 You all have a sensational day.
60 See you again.
61 Peace.
~H~
www.xanga.com/bharrington
