ARE YOU SERIOUS?????
WAINWRIGHT? DESCALSO? KOZMA?
The Daily News
1 Ouch.
2 Adam Wainwright.
3 Did I spell that right? Did that guy even PLAY this season?
4 I just don’t know what to say. Descalso and Kozma? Who ARE these guys? Are you fricking serious? They don’t even match my background. We can’t be beat by a bunch of bums like these. Can we?
5 Tough to be a Giants’ fan right now.
6 I remember the middle of summer, mowing the lawn and going crazy over comeback victories and a team that showed it knew how to claw and scratch to win games.
7 The Giants looked like a dead battery the last two games.
8 What a way to go.
9 And Timmeh.
10 Dude, really?
11 Never mind the Niners interrupting the chi.
12 Did anyone else have to run from room to room to watch those games?
13 I was trying to cook at the same time, so it was a trifecta. I wanted to make something healthy, because being in a championship series causes lousy eating habits.
14 I’m not sure, but last time I looked, a bag of Lay’s Barbecue Chips laced with pepper cheese and chased by a gallon of Crystal Light is probably not the best of dinners. A salad each night helped, but dude, really?
14 I wound up making a huge mess by trying to make a zesty spaghetti sauce with real tomatoes, real garlic, real onions, real rosemary, and all the rest, while jetting in and out of two different rooms to watch the Giants and the Niners.
15 I wound up with a bunch of noise and a game that was decided after around the fourth pitch.
16 What really got me was awakening at 2 a.m. and Googling some St. Louis website that was highly nervous about the Giants. It brought up the entire Reds’ series and said these guys come back and ruin other teams’ seasons.
17 Let’s hope so.
18 If you is a bettin’ man, your money probably is not on the Giants right now.
19 I ain’t a bettin’ man, and I’m glad I ain’t.
20 Ya gotta have heart though. You can’t follow your team from February to now and suddenly give up.
21 Zito is up today. The guy has stymied a lot of teams this year. He has done WAY better than Timmeh all year, and he has been consistent.
22 Maybe he could throw a monkey wrench into the Cards’ celebration.
23 Maybe. His record against the Cards is abysmal. His interview in this morning’s Merc has him WAY confident. He’s going after these guys, he says.
24 Let’s just hope so.
25 Moving on, Part One: Somehow we have a minimum day today. It couldn’t come at a better time. It is our Homecoming. It is the inaugural game for our new football field. I’m probably not going to go because I’m exhausted from the past two weeks.
26 It is going into the 2 a.m. I have some old movie blasting in the bedroom.
27 I loves me some old movies. They keep me grounded. Buncha wiseguys.
28 Moving on, Part Two: Yesterday I asked my classes if they knew what a run-on sentence was. At least six different kids per class said, “It is when a sentence just keeps going on and on.”
29 I stood astounded. That answer kept coming up. “It’s when a sentence has way too many conjunctions and just keeps going.”
30
31 This is what happens when the State gets rid of grammar books. There is a new generation of teachers who never learned grammar.
32 Scary.
33 I said, “Whoever taught you that was wrong. I have the rule book. You can’t go to college writing run-on sentences.”
34 They looked at me like scared deer.
35 I asked, “Do you know the definition of a sentence?”
36 Dead silence. Nobody did. I wasn’t mad; I was dumbfounded.
37 “A sentence is a group of words containing a subject and a verb, and that makes a complete thought.”
38
39 I wrote on the board, “We went to the store.”
40 “Is this a sentence?”
41
42 I swear to you.
43 <sigh>
44 Doesn’t look good.
45 Brightest students in the District.
46 I’m discovering some alarming things.
47 Our school has over 2,600 students.
48 We have one class set of grammar books for the entire school. They are terrible books and emphasize writing that is clearly beyond the basics. The movement years ago to get rid of grammar was one of the most idiotic movements in American education. The rest of the world laughs at our idiocy. One lousy class set is all that remains.
49 I’m not kidding. I make copies of Warriner’s grammar books from the eighties. It cost me ten bucks on Amazon. I hope to change the world with it.
50 I run off copies upon copies.
51 It is my sole weapon against this idiocy.
52 Sometimes I feel like I oughta buy myself a huge broom, and try to rid the shores of sand.
53 It is REALLY scary.
54 It reminds me of this quote by Unamuno: “Against stupidity the very gods themselves contend in vain.”
55 Vonnegut led me to that quote, which I quaffed in one shot.
56 Wow.
57 TGIF.
58 Just thought I’d lay some of that out for you on this beautiful Friday.
59 Keep your spirits up.
60 We still have baseball, and next week is the beginning of Halloween. I get my Halloween on early.
61 I already had a WAY public coincidence happen.
62 Remember two days ago when I wrote all about the Beatles?
64 Yesterday’s Merc News sports page had this:
65 Ya gotta believe.
66 So let’s win.
67 Have a GREAT weekend.
68 Peace.
~H~
www.xanga.com/bharrington
The Daily News1 Ouch.2 Adam Wainwright.3 Did I spell that right? Did that guy even PLAY this season?4 I just don’t know what to say. Descalso and Kozma? Who ARE these guys? Are you fricking serious? They don’t even match my background. We can’t be beat by a bunch of bums like these. Can we?5 Tough to be a Giants’ fan right now.6 I remember the middle of summer, mowing the lawn and going crazy over comeback victories and a team that showed it knew how to claw and scratch to win games.7 The Giants looked like a dead battery the last two games.8 What a way to go.9 And Timmeh.10 Dude, really?11 Never mind the Niners interrupting the chi.12 Did anyone else have to run from room to room to watch those games?13 I was trying to cook at the same time, so it was a trifecta. I wanted to make something healthy, because being in a championship series causes lousy eating habits.14 I’m not sure, but last time I looked, a bag of Lay’s Barbecue Chips laced with pepper cheese and chased by a gallon of Crystal Light is probably not the best of dinners. A salad each night helped, but dude, really?14 I wound up making a huge mess by trying to make a zesty spaghetti sauce with real tomatoes, real garlic, real onions, real rosemary, and all the rest, while jetting in and out of two different rooms to watch the Giants and the Niners.15 I wound up with a bunch of noise and a game that was decided after around the fourth pitch.16 What really got me was awakening at 2 a.m. and Googling some St. Louis website that was highly nervous about the Giants. It brought up the entire Reds’ series and said these guys come back and ruin other teams’ seasons.17 Let’s hope so.18 If you is a bettin’ man, your money probably is not on the Giants right now.19 I ain’t a bettin’ man, and I’m glad I ain’t.20 Ya gotta have heart though. You can’t follow your team from February to now and suddenly give up.21 Zito is up today. The guy has stymied a lot of teams this year. He has done WAY better than Timmeh all year, and he has been consistent.22 Maybe he could throw a monkey wrench into the Cards’ celebration.23 Maybe. His record against the Cards is abysmal. His interview in this morning’s Merc has him WAY confident. He’s going after these guys, he says.24 Let’s just hope so.25 Moving on, Part One: Somehow we have a minimum day today. It couldn’t come at a better time. It is our Homecoming. It is the inaugural game for our new football field. I’m probably not going to go because I’m exhausted from the past two weeks.26 It is going into the 2 a.m. I have some old movie blasting in the bedroom.27 I loves me some old movies. They keep me grounded. Buncha wiseguys.28 Moving on, Part Two: Yesterday I asked my classes if they knew what a run-on sentence was. At least six different kids per class said, “It is when a sentence just keeps going on and on.”29 I stood astounded. That answer kept coming up. “It’s when a sentence has way too many conjunctions and just keeps going.”30
31 This is what happens when the State gets rid of grammar books. There is a new generation of teachers who never learned grammar.32 Scary.33 I said, “Whoever taught you that was wrong. I have the rule book. You can’t go to college writing run-on sentences.”34 They looked at me like scared deer.35 I asked, “Do you know the definition of a sentence?”36 Dead silence. Nobody did. I wasn’t mad; I was dumbfounded.37 “A sentence is a group of words containing a subject and a verb, and that makes a complete thought.”38
39 I wrote on the board, “We went to the store.”40 “Is this a sentence?”41
42 I swear to you.43 <sigh>44 Doesn’t look good.45 Brightest students in the District.46 I’m discovering some alarming things.47 Our school has over 2,600 students.48 We have one class set of grammar books for the entire school. They are terrible books and emphasize writing that is clearly beyond the basics. The movement years ago to get rid of grammar was one of the most idiotic movements in American education. The rest of the world laughs at our idiocy. One lousy class set is all that remains.49 I’m not kidding. I make copies of Warriner’s grammar books from the eighties. It cost me ten bucks on Amazon. I hope to change the world with it.50 I run off copies upon copies.51 It is my sole weapon against this idiocy.52 Sometimes I feel like I oughta buy myself a huge broom, and try to rid the shores of sand.53 It is REALLY scary.54 It reminds me of this quote by Unamuno: “Against stupidity the very gods themselves contend in vain.”55 Vonnegut led me to that quote, which I quaffed in one shot.56 Wow.57 TGIF.58 Just thought I’d lay some of that out for you on this beautiful Friday.59 Keep your spirits up.60 We still have baseball, and next week is the beginning of Halloween. I get my Halloween on early.61 I already had a WAY public coincidence happen.62 Remember two days ago when I wrote all about the Beatles?64 Yesterday’s Merc News sports page had this:
65 Ya gotta believe.66 So let’s win.67 Have a GREAT weekend.68 Peace.~H~
www.xanga.com/bharrington
