1 I graded papers and threw on some Beatles yesterday.
2 It just seemed like a Beatles’ type of day, the morning mist causing me to be wet beneath the blue suburban skies and all, and the same morning having sun, sun, sun here it comes, blazing into my kaleidoscope eyes.
3 It was a great morning that turned not great at the end of the day.I think all of my stresses came at me when I had to put my last class in check. They started to get out of control: one kid kept walking in front of me and sharpening his pencil during a lecture; another popped up twice to walk right in front of me and throw out paper; several in the back kept talking.
4
5 Anyone who has ever had me knows that I can be the nicest guy around, but that if you push me a bit too far, I can be a rattlesnake.
6 I never like when that part of me comes out, but these guys tried to push.
7 Dude.
8 You go to Evergreen.
9 I come from YB.
10 You’re messing with a rifleman.
11 Who does constant mixed metaphors. That means something ain’t right.
12 Fortunately I have mellowed a whole bunch, perhaps because of Camp Anytown.
13 I know, I know, but those were some excellent lessons. I had no idea that I used to scare the bijayzuss out of students when I would go on one of my tirades. Never occurred to me because I knew that I would never hurt a fly, but they didn’t.
14 And it definitely would get the message out not to mess with me. Every once in a while hurling a stool into the seats would get attention. And I would blow. I own that. I was a madman when I was a younger teacher. I see younger teachers exhibiting the same behaviors and pretty much shake my head. I have definitely gotten mellower.
15 But yesterday I felt like I was at a kiddie matinee, where kids would throw popcorn and holler and scream.
16 The circus was in town, and going on right before my eyes.
17 Granted, it was freshmen at the end of the day, but they were trying to test me. They wanted to see how far they could push me.
18 Never a wise thing. I have much finer means of intimidation than I ever had acting like a lunatic. They kept getting out of their seats, snapping each other’s ears, and generally pushing behaviors that earlier had just been mild. They were over the top, and it was time.
19 I stopped mid-sentence and gave a look. My eyes darted around the room, instilling certain doom to every one of the little bastids.
20 I maintained an agonizing silence.
21 These guys turned black and white, and then cold.
22 I spoke softly, saying, “Normally when this sort of stuff happens, I leave the room. You don’t ever want me to leave the room.”
23 Then I got quiet again, and singled out specific behaviours, and how they were rude.
24 I said, “You were not only rude. You were rude as hell.”
25 Extreme fear. Satan walked into the room and frightened them.
26 He said the “H” word.
27 Damned right.
28 Quick sidebar: I just got spell-checked on “behaviours.”
29 I was trying to be British, since this began with a British invasion.
30 AnywayZ…
31 The last fifteen minutes of class had them working on a couple of grammar exercises.
32 It was eerily silent. Not a peep out of them.
33 I felt empowered. I remained poker-faced, grading papers and ignoring the horrid silence.
34 Sometimes you have to.
35 Any break in character would become a crack in the dam.
36 The mixed metaphors began haunting me.
37 The guilt then took over.
38 I wanted to smile again.
39 I wanted everything to be sweet.
40 But the behaviours said I couldn’t crack.
41 Everything that has happened to me in the past three years swirled around, and I thought of good things.
42 I thought of everyone I love.
43 People and things that went before.
44 I thought of In My LIfe, one of the most beautiful songs ever written.
45 When the bell rang, the students gathered together in bunches, hunched and guilty. Some of my biggest fans looked down, realizing that I’m not always the nicest guy in the world. They seemed disappointed, but understanding.
46 I knew that staying angry and not giving in to emotion would ultimately give me more respect, but it was not easy.
47 They piled by the door for the last ten seconds of the day, and moved out like cattle.
48 A few of them whispered, “Sorry Mr. H,” and shuffled out the door.
49 I remained stoic.
50 The room emptied.
51 I opened the curtains, turned off the lights, and stared out the window.
52 The sadness of the last three years hit me.
53 All I thought about was In My Life.
54 I didn’t have my guitar, and it killed me.
55 If you play music and sing, sometimes you want to burst. I wanted a guitar so badly. It’s a Sherlock Holmes sort of thing.
56 I managed to work my way over to my computer, which I have hooked to some good Altec speakers, and found a karaoke version of In My Life. It worked beautifully, especially the interlude right in the middle of the song.
57 It was what was needed. Though I know I’ll never lose affection…
58 I settled in, reflecting a bit about the last class, but soon figured this was just a little hitch in a career of giddy ups. I graded papers, and cheered up to the music of arguably the greatest rock band in history.
59 And then I closed up shop for the day.
60 All these places have their moments.
61 I love you all, everything.
62 Peace.
~H~
www.xanga.com/bharrington
The Daily News1 I graded papers and threw on some Beatles yesterday.2 It just seemed like a Beatles’ type of day, the morning mist causing me to be wet beneath the blue suburban skies and all, and the same morning having sun, sun, sun here it comes, blazing into my kaleidoscope eyes.3 It was a great morning that turned not great at the end of the day.I think all of my stresses came at me when I had to put my last class in check. They started to get out of control: one kid kept walking in front of me and sharpening his pencil during a lecture; another popped up twice to walk right in front of me and throw out paper; several in the back kept talking.45 Anyone who has ever had me knows that I can be the nicest guy around, but that if you push me a bit too far, I can be a rattlesnake.6 I never like when that part of me comes out, but these guys tried to push.7 Dude.8 You go to Evergreen.9 I come from YB.10 You’re messing with a rifleman.11 Who does constant mixed metaphors. That means something ain’t right.12 Fortunately I have mellowed a whole bunch, perhaps because of Camp Anytown.13 I know, I know, but those were some excellent lessons. I had no idea that I used to scare the bijayzuss out of students when I would go on one of my tirades. Never occurred to me because I knew that I would never hurt a fly, but they didn’t.14 And it definitely would get the message out not to mess with me. Every once in a while hurling a stool into the seats would get attention. And I would blow. I own that. I was a madman when I was a younger teacher. I see younger teachers exhibiting the same behaviors and pretty much shake my head. I have definitely gotten mellower.15 But yesterday I felt like I was at a kiddie matinee, where kids would throw popcorn and holler and scream.16 The circus was in town, and going on right before my eyes.17 Granted, it was freshmen at the end of the day, but they were trying to test me. They wanted to see how far they could push me.18 Never a wise thing. I have much finer means of intimidation than I ever had acting like a lunatic. They kept getting out of their seats, snapping each other’s ears, and generally pushing behaviors that earlier had just been mild. They were over the top, and it was time.
22 I spoke softly, saying, “Normally when this sort of stuff happens, I leave the room. You don’t ever want me to leave the room.”23 Then I got quiet again, and singled out specific behaviours, and how they were rude.24 I said, “You were not only rude. You were rude as hell.”25 Extreme fear. Satan walked into the room and frightened them.26 He said the “H” word.27 Damned right.28 Quick sidebar: I just got spell-checked on “behaviours.”29 I was trying to be British, since this began with a British invasion.30 AnywayZ…31 The last fifteen minutes of class had them working on a couple of grammar exercises.32 It was eerily silent. Not a peep out of them.33 I felt empowered. I remained poker-faced, grading papers and ignoring the horrid silence.34 Sometimes you have to.35 Any break in character would become a crack in the dam.36 The mixed metaphors began haunting me.37 The guilt then took over.38 I wanted to smile again.39 I wanted everything to be sweet.40 But the behaviours said I couldn’t crack.41 Everything that has happened to me in the past three years swirled around, and I thought of good things.42 I thought of everyone I love.43 People and things that went before.44 I thought of In My LIfe, one of the most beautiful songs ever written.45 When the bell rang, the students gathered together in bunches, hunched and guilty. Some of my biggest fans looked down, realizing that I’m not always the nicest guy in the world. They seemed disappointed, but understanding.46 I knew that staying angry and not giving in to emotion would ultimately give me more respect, but it was not easy.47 They piled by the door for the last ten seconds of the day, and moved out like cattle.48 A few of them whispered, “Sorry Mr. H,” and shuffled out the door.49 I remained stoic.50 The room emptied.51 I opened the curtains, turned off the lights, and stared out the window.52 The sadness of the last three years hit me.53 All I thought about was In My Life.54 I didn’t have my guitar, and it killed me.55 If you play music and sing, sometimes you want to burst. I wanted a guitar so badly. It’s a Sherlock Holmes sort of thing.56 I managed to work my way over to my computer, which I have hooked to some good Altec speakers, and found a karaoke version of In My Life. It worked beautifully, especially the interlude right in the middle of the song.57 It was what was needed. Though I know I’ll never lose affection…58 I settled in, reflecting a bit about the last class, but soon figured this was just a little hitch in a career of giddy ups. I graded papers, and cheered up to the music of arguably the greatest rock band in history.59 And then I closed up shop for the day.60 All these places have their moments.61 I love you all, everything.62 Peace.~H~
