A’s Clinch Playoff Spot!!!
The Daily News
1 ‘Tober. Sorry Giants’ fans. It’s all about the A’s today,and something I had thought about since their walk-off into the All-Star Break: they just might win their division! The entire second half of the season the Merc kept showing the Giants’ division race and the A’s wild-card race. I had a feeling that they should have been showing the A’s division race the entire time.
2 ‘Tober. Great month. We have football, baseball, and Halloween. Hot weather, but what an awesome start to the month.
3 I even told my students about the Heidi unit. Pretty early, but I couldn’t hold off that pitch. I’ve been working WAY too hard lately and I am ready to do something fun. The Heidi Cronz are always fun, and WEIRD! But it is a classic unit that has more stories every year.
4 I told them that the ghost unit dates back to when I was a student teacher.
5 I then joked, “That was back in the nineteenth century.”
6 One stoner in my second period class said, “Cool.” He actually meant it.
7 I lowered his grade one full grade.
8 I told him that I was giving him a referral, and that he was to come to Chinese school Friday night at 7 p.m.
9 He looked at me like I had twelve heads and said, “Okay dude, cool.”
10 I lowered his grade two full grades and told him to write me an essay on The Great Wall.
11 He said, “Uh…don’t I have to go to China to write on the Great Wall?”
12 Dude.
13 Moving on, Part One: MOST of that was a lie. You know that bonding game Two Truths and a Lie?
14 This would be one Truth and Five Lies.
15 The one Truth was that he did say, “Cool.”
16 Everything after that was a lie. I’m just bored, so I thought I’d make up some news, just like most news centers. I am writing this whilst (ugh!) waiting for some U-Verse guy to come and pick up some meter that he left whilst he was re-doing a screw-up that began when we had this little gem installed.
17 It is 4:55 in the afternoon of the day before as I write this. He was supposed to arrive at 4:30
18 I am staving off my dog Phoebe, aka “4:20″ (because of her amazing ability to wake me up with a cold nose every morning at 4:20 a.m.), who is fond of biting off the pants of anyone who visits.
19 All right, one Truth and one Lie.
20 Unfortunately, I’m so stressed about homeboy getting here on a hot afternoon that I can’t remember which is the Truth and which is the Lie.
21 It is like a billion degrees outside and I am still sober and in pants. I know that the second I go down the hall to change into shorts that homie will arrive. They TIME that stuff, I swear to you.
22 Doesn’t anybody CARE anymore?
23 Not that I don’t want to be in pants, as I see pants as an essential commodity in today’s harsh world.
24 It’s just that it is a billion degrees outside, and I would most be appreciative if I could get me into some shorts, for the sake of breeziness.
25 I’m considering having a beverage.
26 Taught my students about Nepenthe, from Poe.
27 According to Edgar, Nepenthe can cure Sorrow.
28 Some wise ass in my class declared, “So can beer!”
29
30 How does one reason with that? I tried telling the misguided soul that beer simply isn’t poetry. It is of itself a poem <this delivered to my intelligent lot, of whom there are many> but not anywhere within the sphere of Poe’s sweeping rhymes, imagery, and poetry.
31 Certainly the world’s first nerd.
32 Oh, Edgar.
33 Moving on, Part Two: ‘Tober. I always have to start over with the Heidi stuff each year. I never want to show my hand, because the story continues each year.
34 Most veterans of the stories know that it is linked to ridiculous coincidences that begin every October.
35 This year they have been happening since school started; I just haven’t paid them much attention.
36 Yesterday there were four. I can remember only three.
37 I knew it was going to be a rat-a-tat Monday when I got to school. The bell rang for my first class, and then OBNOXIOUS fire alarms caused brainbell jangling in everybody’s morning. Half my class scurried off to the baseball field, knowing full well that they could stall class. The rest of the class stayed put, knowing it was a false alarm.
38 The kids out on the baseball diamond knew it was a false alarm too, but pretended they didn’t when they returned after fifteen minutes.
39 ‘Twas ever thus.
40 Did I really say that?
41 Coincidence number one came during my second class of the day. I talked about a couple of classic Heidi coincidences, gave a brief lecture, and then sat at my desk to correct some last-minute papers that had come in.
42 The first paper I graded had a great introduction, so I wrote, “Nice ‘hook’ ” in the margin. As I wrote the word “hook” a student sitting right in front of me said randomly, “I love Peter Pan!”
43 The second coincidence happened at around 12:20, right before lunch, which is at 12:30. I was circulating around the room when a student talked about how obnoxious the weather was. I said, “It’s not as obnoxious as that fire alarm this morning.” Immediately, the fire alarm went off again, but this time the vice-principal was all over it, announcing instantly that it was another false alarm, completely disrupting the bridge to lunch. It kept going for another minute.
44 I had to get away for lunch. My lunch is hooked to my prep period, which is after lunch, so I get an hour and a half lunch each day, by my personal design. I request it every year, and I get it every year.
45 I use that time quite often to get away from the school and down to a local cafe, or restaurant, or bookstore. On a Monday right before grades are due, the last thing I need is a fire alarm starting my day and making a comeback at lunch.
46 Okay, okay. There are worse jobs to be sure. But that was pretty obnoxious. I didn’t need some student coming in at lunch bitching at me about a grade, so I bailed.
47 Smart move.
48 I decided to get to the bank to do a little business. There is a Wells Fargo reasonably close to the school, so I headed there.
49 On the way, a commercial for Wells Fargo came on my radio. It was followed by Sleep Train, which I am now thoroughly convinced follows every commercial that comes on the radio, sort of the way Geico seems to follow every commercial that comes on television.
50 There was one more coincidence that happened, but I can’t remember what it was.
51 But that was four in less than five hours on October 1.
52 I have had at least twenty other coincidences this year, several revolving around the name Heidi.
53 For those of you new to the DN, Heidi is the name of the ghost that purportedly haunted the Yerba Buena High School Theatre in San Jose. That’s the Theatre where I directed all my shows. There is an entire story of her, and how coincidences, electrical oddities, clicking seats, and water turning on and off have given the Theatre legendary status.
54 I remember very my first day driving to Evergreen Valley High School, my newer digs. This was circa 2007, as I recall. It was my very first day at my new school.
55 I pulled up to the stop sign directly in front of the school, and the car in front of me had a license plate that read “High T 2.” I laughed.
56 That same year I was sitting at my desk late at night. As the Activities’ Director, I had to stay late for volleyball games, and I would often finish off my work day by preparing for the next morning while still at school.
57 I was well into October, and bringing in Poe and ghost stories, and all. It was around 10:30 at night when I heard a fluttering behind my head. I looked up, and a black bird had alighted atop the small television in the office. It looked at me with a sort of quirky movement, and I sort of smiled. We had this back and forth for around ten minutes. It eventually flew out of the office, and I just put on my hat and walked out to the parking lot.
58 ‘Tober, baby. You can’t miss. With that thought in mind, I shall leave you now. I have some corn to plow.
59 Have a great Tuesday.
60 Peace.
~H~
www.xanga.com/bharrington
30 How does one reason with that? I tried telling the misguided soul that beer simply isn’t poetry. It is of itself a poem <this delivered to my intelligent lot, of whom there are many> but not anywhere within the sphere of Poe’s sweeping rhymes, imagery, and poetry.31 Certainly the world’s first nerd.32 Oh, Edgar.
33 Moving on, Part Two: ‘Tober. I always have to start over with the Heidi stuff each year. I never want to show my hand, because the story continues each year.34 Most veterans of the stories know that it is linked to ridiculous coincidences that begin every October.35 This year they have been happening since school started; I just haven’t paid them much attention.36 Yesterday there were four. I can remember only three.37 I knew it was going to be a rat-a-tat Monday when I got to school. The bell rang for my first class, and then OBNOXIOUS fire alarms caused brainbell jangling in everybody’s morning. Half my class scurried off to the baseball field, knowing full well that they could stall class. The rest of the class stayed put, knowing it was a false alarm.38 The kids out on the baseball diamond knew it was a false alarm too, but pretended they didn’t when they returned after fifteen minutes.39 ‘Twas ever thus.40 Did I really say that?41 Coincidence number one came during my second class of the day. I talked about a couple of classic Heidi coincidences, gave a brief lecture, and then sat at my desk to correct some last-minute papers that had come in.42 The first paper I graded had a great introduction, so I wrote, “Nice ‘hook’ ” in the margin. As I wrote the word “hook” a student sitting right in front of me said randomly, “I love Peter Pan!”43 The second coincidence happened at around 12:20, right before lunch, which is at 12:30. I was circulating around the room when a student talked about how obnoxious the weather was. I said, “It’s not as obnoxious as that fire alarm this morning.” Immediately, the fire alarm went off again, but this time the vice-principal was all over it, announcing instantly that it was another false alarm, completely disrupting the bridge to lunch. It kept going for another minute.44 I had to get away for lunch. My lunch is hooked to my prep period, which is after lunch, so I get an hour and a half lunch each day, by my personal design. I request it every year, and I get it every year.45 I use that time quite often to get away from the school and down to a local cafe, or restaurant, or bookstore. On a Monday right before grades are due, the last thing I need is a fire alarm starting my day and making a comeback at lunch.46 Okay, okay. There are worse jobs to be sure. But that was pretty obnoxious. I didn’t need some student coming in at lunch bitching at me about a grade, so I bailed.47 Smart move.48 I decided to get to the bank to do a little business. There is a Wells Fargo reasonably close to the school, so I headed there.49 On the way, a commercial for Wells Fargo came on my radio. It was followed by Sleep Train, which I am now thoroughly convinced follows every commercial that comes on the radio, sort of the way Geico seems to follow every commercial that comes on television.50 There was one more coincidence that happened, but I can’t remember what it was.51 But that was four in less than five hours on October 1.52 I have had at least twenty other coincidences this year, several revolving around the name Heidi.53 For those of you new to the DN, Heidi is the name of the ghost that purportedly haunted the Yerba Buena High School Theatre in San Jose. That’s the Theatre where I directed all my shows. There is an entire story of her, and how coincidences, electrical oddities, clicking seats, and water turning on and off have given the Theatre legendary status.54 I remember very my first day driving to Evergreen Valley High School, my newer digs. This was circa 2007, as I recall. It was my very first day at my new school.55 I pulled up to the stop sign directly in front of the school, and the car in front of me had a license plate that read “High T 2.” I laughed.56 That same year I was sitting at my desk late at night. As the Activities’ Director, I had to stay late for volleyball games, and I would often finish off my work day by preparing for the next morning while still at school.57 I was well into October, and bringing in Poe and ghost stories, and all. It was around 10:30 at night when I heard a fluttering behind my head. I looked up, and a black bird had alighted atop the small television in the office. It looked at me with a sort of quirky movement, and I sort of smiled. We had this back and forth for around ten minutes. It eventually flew out of the office, and I just put on my hat and walked out to the parking lot.58 ‘Tober, baby. You can’t miss. With that thought in mind, I shall leave you now. I have some corn to plow.59 Have a great Tuesday.60 Peace.~H~
www.xanga.com/bharrington
