September 4, 2012
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The Daily News1 Where did Monday go?
2 Heck, that was easy.
3 Maybe I was wrong about Tuesdays all these years.
4 What if instead of eliminating Tuesdays as a day of the week, that we eliminate Mondays instead?
5 Or better, just declare every Monday Labor Day.
6 Where are the unions when you really need them?
7 If either candidate brought that idea to the mix, they'd probably win by a landslide.
8 Ah, there'd be some poophead who would talk about loss of productivity on Tuesdays, that it would put the economy in the tank.
9 Blah, blah, blah.
10 We'd all have one more day to chill. Bottom line.
11 Moving on, Part the First: Speaking of people needing one more day to chill, have you been on the freeways lately?
12 A whole BUNCH of people clearly need to chill.
13 Especially the ones who drive too fast, tailgate, and change lanes without signaling. Perfectly happy, like Mr. Walker, below.
...er, who sometmes morphs into Mr. Wheeler...
at the drop of a hat...
14 And don't even get me going on the people who text, who eat fast foods, or who change clothing while driving.
15 The other day a guy behind me took off his hoody while driving. He almost annihilated me.
16 What a knucklehead.
17 I stayed chill. You know me. Ice going through these veins.
18 Plus he was bigger than me.
19 That was one HUGE hoody.
20 Moving on, Part the Second: I am so gangsta.
21 Moving on, Part Three: Actually, I'm not.
22 I've been pretty nerdy for some time now.
23 I like old movies, for example.
24 Not nineties or eighties movies, but really old movies.
25 Okay.
26 I like old black-and-white movies, as long as they don't feature Jeanette McDonald.
27 Other than that, most any old black-and-white movie, even the lesser known.
28 Ah, I just like old stuff.
29 It's not that I live in the past, because I don't. I'm pretty happy with most of the present right now. I like Starbucks, iPhones, Pandora, hikes at the lake, family barbeques, and even Jollibee.
30 Okay, maybe not Jollibee. Too weird.
31 There just seems to be something nice about watching old movies. It's a sort of comfort zone thing for me.
32 Sorta like hot soup on a cold day.
33 Or the discovery of Kool Pops in your freezer, on a hot day.
34 Moving on, Part Four: doh dee doh.
35 And so this is Tuesday.
36 Short week.
37 I kind of forgot what I was working on last week.
38 Sign of a good weekend.
39 Or the newly acquired ability to forget, something I've been working on for a few years now.
40 I also bank on the fact that other people are far less ready to return to work than am I.
41 I usually enjoy working a little over the weekend so I don't get hit by a metaphorical Mack truck when Monday comes.
42 Or in this case, Tuesday.
43 And IF Tuesdays were eliminated as a day of the week, it would already be Wednesday, woulnitt?
44 Which brings us full circle.
45 Unless, of course, we already forgot what we started to talk about.
46 ...in which case...
47
48 I think it's time to go now.
49 Have a great Tuesday.
50 Fly low.
51 Peace.
~H~
www.xanga.com/bharrington
