March 16, 2012
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1 It’s Frideeeeeee!
2 Fun week, in so many ways!
3 Welp, my first item is that I’m pretty sure that I am the first person in San Jose to reach one million on the amount of bags I have purchased since the green law took place.
4 I am proud to be an environmentalist.
5 We are such creatures of habit, aren’t we?
6 I tend to stop in a supermarket every other day just to pick up items that I forget to get when I go on major shopping days.
7 The trouble with that is that I usually find two or three other minor things, just enough to warrant purchasing another bag.
8 Yesterday I went into one store or other and wound up with around six or seven small, forgotten items.
9 The girl at the counter talked me into buying one of her store’s bags, because it was only eighty-eight cents.
10 Who wouldn’t do that? I got home and thought of how incredible the guy who thought of eighty-eight cents was.
11 A dollar seems an outrage. I’m your typical moronic male who would throw a conniption over a dollar. “That’s outrageous! It’s a matter of principle! Dollar schmollar! I can carry this stuff out by hand!” And I would look like a circus clown trying to juggle a box of Cheerios, two bottled waters, a jar of mustard, a package of chicken, and a lawn toy for the dog all out to the parking lot.
12 But eighty-eight cents?
13 Piece of cake.
14 Moving on, Part One: I actually had to look up the word “conniption” to be sure that I spelled it correctly. I never really thought of how to spell it, and in all honesty, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it written. Somehow I knew how to spell it anyway, but the more I read poor spellings from students, the more I have to look up words.
15 I looked it up on Dictionary.com, and here is what they had:
conniption (fit) definition
[kə nĭp’ shən]
n. a burst of anger: a spaz: He had a conniption over the question of my marriage to Fred.
16 A spaz. It’s in the dictionary.Hilarious. Don’t have a spaz about it!
17 All I thought was that this must be a very old definition. Maybe we should bring back the word spaz, and spaz attack.
18 Moving on, Part the Second: When we teach vocabulary, we often give two different definitions of a word: the “denotative” and the “connotative”.
19 The denotative part of a definition is it’s actual dictionary definition. Take the word “house” for example.
20 Dictionary.com defines “house” as “a building in which people live”.
21 Now take the word “home”.
22 Dictionary.com defines “home” as “a house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family, or household”.
23 Both definitions tell us that “house” and “home” are basically the same things.
24 The “denotative” definitions are scientific and accurate. Now the “connotative” definitions are all of the things that can be associated with a word.
25 The “connotative” definitions of “house” and “home” therefore, are completely different.
26 A “house” is a building that can be bought and sold.
27 A home is where we find love, support, and the wonderful aroma of baking chocolate chip cookies. A home has laughter, chat, family, pets and friends.
28 So the reason I laughed at the definition of “conniption” is not so much the word, but the connotation of the name “Fred”.
29 There’s really only one “Fred” that immediately pops into my brain.
31 Yes, we have Fred Astaire, Freddy Mercury, Fred Rodgers, Fred Rutherford, and on and on.
32 But my personal connotation of the name ”Fred” is Fred Flintstone. Hands down.
33 And the Dictionary.com example is classic.
34 “He had a conniption over my marriage to Fred.”
35 Well, who married Fred?
36
37 How’d THAT happen?
38 Somebody questioned her marriage to Fred, and some guy had a conniption. Might have been Barney. Nice guy Barney was always loyal to Fred. And he was a pretty sleek dresser:
39 Barney would have had Fred’s back.He was a good guy, a musician, and a mystery man. That might explain why he was able to land a dish as gorgeous as Betty.
40
41 Aw, come on!
42 Wilma is a dish, granted. And no way Fred would have a chance nowadays, given, well, everything. I’m sure it was the same back then.
43 But I’m guessing that most men out there would consider Betty a much better catch. Wilma has weird hair. Betty has a pageboy, and is clearly cuter. Wilma has worst taste in jewelry. Am I right ladies? Scroll up, and then come back. Betty clearly has classier taste.
44 Fred worked at the Slate Rock and Gravel quarry. While it was hinted that Barney also worked there, it was never made clear. In one episode, when some upper-crust neighbor asked Wilma about Barney’s job, Wilma hinted that it was “top secret”, indicating that Barney very well might have been a government agent. Perfect disguise, wouldn’t you agree?
45 Barney played piano and drums, and as far as I know, Fred did none of those things. Fred was always into get-rich-quick schemes, and Barney was always loyal and amicable, and would serve as a virtual yes-man for Fred.
46 Barney’s marriage to Betty makes logical sense, given all we know about him. If Barney was a spy, that would explain his affinity for bowling, pool, and poker.
47 Interestingly, Fred and Barney met Wilma and Betty when they worked as bell-hops at a fancy hotel. Wilma and Betty were “cigarette girls” who vended cigarettes. Whether Barney was working a cover job at that young an age is questionable. But let’s examine Barney just a little closer.
48 In the very first episode ever, Barney was introduced as a guy who had invented a “human-powered helicopter.” With that sort of genius, it’s hard to believe that Barney worked with Fred at the Slate Rock and Gravel quarry. He was seen working there on a few occasions, but it would seem that the writers deliberately wanted Barney’s occupation to be somewhat secretive.
49 This might explain why he landed a beaut as vivacious and curvaceous as Betty.
50 How Fred landed Wilma is anybody’s guess. The guy is hot-tempered, slothy, and a lousy dresser. (Puh-LEEZ! Compare Fred’s savage animal-kill look to Barney’s understated cutlines. Not even a contest.). Barney is gentle, agreeable, sweet, talented, and caring. I’m surprised Wilma never made a pass at him.
51 Wilma saw something in Fred though. I just can’t for the life of me figure out how she went after him. In later episodes, Wilma begins working for charitable organizations, where she runs into such luminaries as Stony Curtis, Rock Quarry, and Cary Granite. She flirts with them, possibly figuring out the mistake she might have made younger in life.
52 I would need to spend a little time to figure all of this out. It is pretty interesting stuff.
53 And obviously important research. I’m wondering if I could go back to college and see if I could do a study on these issues.
54 Well, food for thought and grounds for further research, clearly.
55 Meanwhile, I have corn to plow, and then a weekend staring me down.
56 I think I’ll hop off this stuff for now, and perhaps pick up on it at some later date.
57 With that, I think I’ll put this stone-aged edition of the DN to bed. This is just too deep for my brain to grasp. So I’m gone.
58 Have a rockin’ weekend.
59 Peace.
~H~
