February 6, 2012
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1 2012 Football Predictions: 0 for 2.
2 Ah, vell. I eat crow for the second game in a row.
3 Out with the old, in with the new.
4 A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words, Dept: Bizarre final touchdown. The Giants didn't really want to score a touchdown. They wanted to sit on the one-yard line and allow the clock to go down to the teens so that New England's Tom Brady would have virtually no time and no timeouts to institute a comeback. But the Giant's Ahmad Bradshaw sat down on the goal line, and squatted into the end zone. That could have been the biggest blunder in Super Bowl history. Fortunately for Bradshaw, Brady didn't get it done.
5 I wish I had Tweeted that they should call it "The Squat" for all eternity, because that's what it looked like. It would be deserving of a champion that at one point in the season was 7-7, with losses coming from Seattle, Washington, and Philly.
5 Immortal Pats' coach Bill Belichick admitted to allowing his defense to give up everything so they could get the ball back quicker.
6 I'm not trying to be sour grapes here, but the Giants were at best a mediocre team all season. The fact that they had to squat to win is fitting.
7 I guess what I'm saying is, yeah, I am sour grapes. These guys got blown away by the Saints.
8 Water under the bridge, I suppose.
9 If you win the Super Bowl on a blundered play, then the world knows.
10 Ah, vell. At least Madonna lip-sank beautifully.
11 Pretty gaudy show, ending with a middle finger upraised.
12 Not Madonna's fault. She was good, but with a Milli Vanilli feel, honestly. Worked perfectly with this Super Bowl. As I said, fitting.
13 Well, I'm pretty glad that football is officially behind us. Great season, lots of great games, but the Super Bowl dog-and-pony show is always a bit overdone to me.
14 Would I have felt the same way if my Niners had won?
15 Ah nah.
16 Congrats to the people of New York, and to the entire New York Giants' organization. You did it, and nobody else did. That's the bottom line. You are the champions.
16 Moving on, Part the First: Can we move into Spring now? I'm one of those guys who would like to see a little rain before we officially get there.
17 The "beautiful" weather has been a nice thing, I suppose, but I can't figure out how it has been so dry this year.
18 I will naturally say that it's a government conspiracy, as always. It is; I have proof, but why go off sounding like a madman?
19 Because I can. My DN. Neener neener neener.
20 Moving on, Part the Second: It's the middle of 4 a.m. and I've just awakened after a weird Super Bowl and seven hours of sleep.
21 It's pitch black except for all the things that have magic lights, which includes a virtual galaxy of electronics.
22 I'm realizing the closing walls and ticking clocks surrounding me.
23 Time moves on, at an extraordinary rate.
24 And so this is Monday.
25 Christmas this year was so stressful that I still hear holiday songs chiming through my frabjous mind.
26 I feel like the government planted some sort of Christmas brainwashing chip in my head.
27 I don't want to sound like a madman, but they do that you know.
28 I'm pretty sure a man with a black hat came into my house, did some sort of Christmas surgery, and put a music chip inside my brain.
29 Some sort of shadow guy from outer space.
30 Ah nah.
31 I just wish it would rain. I want the air moist. Still have that annoying cough. Can't see old people or babies. Drives me mad.
32 Just rambling here. Super Bowl hangover. Not a boozy one, just an everything-occasion-has-to-be hyped hangover. What's next?
33 Oh yeah. Valentine's Day. Great day for men to go broke. Flowers go up 300 per cent. Looking forward to that one.
34 Our school goes nuts on Valentine's Day. It is arguably the most popular day of the year. Everybody gets Valentine's except people who don't get Valentine's, which is the reason they should eliminate Valentine's Day and all Tuesdays from the register.
35 I'll throw in Columbus Day, which is akin to Germany's Hitler Day, and New Years, the white guy New Years, and auld lang syne, worst song ever.
36 Christmas and the Super Bowl I'll keep.
37 And miles to go before I sleep.
38 Look, I need rest, and it's only Monday. If Tuesday had been eliminated, tomorrow would be Wednesday.
39 I oughta run for President. Those would be a couple of my platforms, along with free pizza.
40 I'd be good.
41 I'm gonna get some shut-eye. It's the half-past of four a.m. I have to awaken in two hours.
42 That would give me lots of sleep. And lots of miles to go in spite of it.
43 So I'm logging off.
44 Have a great Monday. Don't argue about the best Super Bowl ad. There were none. That's a fact.
45 Okay, so I'm logging off.
46 You keep saying that.
47 Ah, shut up.
48 Peace.
~H~
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