The Daily News
1 Wow. I am amazed and know not what to say.
2 Yesterday Santa Claus came to me.
3 Hear me out.
4 I was in class, trying to deliver a lesson that was to end somehow today, when my phone interrupted me right in the middle of my sharing The Secret Life of Walter Mitty with a group of students.
5 Naturally I was annoyed, because I love Thurber, and I actually had a bona fide lesson going on in the midst of a two-day week. This is completely unheard of, as well as unprecedented in my years as a teacher.
6 To begin, we have NEVER in my recollection had two full days and then the Wednesday before Thanksgiving off. We have often had the Wednesday before Thanksgiving as a minimum day, giving the work week a modicum of it being pretty much a full week, but never that day being off.
7 Well, welcome to 2011. They love giving us "furlough" days, and when the teachers had to vote for having Wednesday off, the natural answer was a resounding "Yes!"
8 Uh...duh?
9 Name any job on the planet that wouldn't vote that way. Never mind. Scratch that. People in medicine know what hard work is all about.
10 AnywayZ, ask any group of reasonably normal people if they would like to sacrifice a day off the day before Thanksgiving, and I would venture to guess it would be a real ninety-nine percent to one percent in favor.
11 I base this, quite naturally, on no real statistics, which evidently a lot of people do when it comes to logical thinking these days.
12 That being said, our staff voted resoundingly to take Wednesday day as a furlough day.
13 It isn't rocket science.
14 What this did, however, was to make almost a mockery of this week in terms of teachers trying to teach anything.
15 Traditionally, the Wednesday minimum was always an understood lost weekend.
16 I would always try to buffer it with some sort of movie that we could come back to if we needed to review "plot", for example. Or maybe we would have the students write or talk about what they were thankful for. There was always some random thing we could do to make sure that our lessons were going to make it
17 So I thought that The Secret Life of Walter Mitty made perfect sense.
18 For the most part, it worked. I do this fun reading of it where I play all the parts, and it works. I am also a huge Thurber fan, always have been. Even directed a play called Jabberwocky years ago, which was this wonderful comedy by Jerome Roberts and Robert E. Lee. It is about the Thurber family, and it is wonderfully amusing.
19 So everything went along famously during each class until my fifth period.
20 Right in the middle of the story, the phone interuppted.
21 As always, I looked down valiantly and gave a bit of a smile.
22 I seldom allow my annoyance to flow to the students, so I gingerly walked over and said, "Hello?"
23 "Mr. Harrington? This is Dee Dee." Dee Dee is the principal's amazingly awesome secretary. She is a jewel, so I immediately broke into a smile. "Yes?" I said.
24 "Mrs. Fill-in-the Blank from the District would like you to call her as soon as you can.* It seems the District owes you some money."
25
26 I responded, just as gingerly, if not the most gingerful, "Oh REALLY?" Walter Mitty began to fade into my mystic mind, and the masks on the walls of my room became a wonderful audience.
27 "A LOT of money. She has been trying to get a hold of you so that she could tell you about it. Do you think you could give her a call?"
28 "Ummmm...I'm right in the middle of something. Could you give me her extension so that I could call her after class?"
29 "Yes. The extension is..." and blah blah blah.
30 I hung up and returned to the story. But as I read, my mind split and started asking me all sorts of questions. How much is "a LOT?" A hundred dollars? A thousand dollars? Ten-thousand dollars? I stopped the story and immediately told my students. Of course, they wanted me to call then and there, because even if they WERE into Walter Mitty, instant wealth was something they wanted to goof on. On which they wished to goof. Whatevz.
31 The professional in me took over. I returned to Walter Mitty and allowed them to enjoy the story to the bitter end.
32 When lunch arrived, I had visitors. The seniors have been coming in with their personal statements and requesting that I help edit them, which I am happy and honored to do. it is a service I offer out, given time.
33 A small line formed. It consisted of some of the most awesome students I have ever taught. I patiently edited around three or four of their papers, always with a half-an eye darting over to the phone.
34 When the bell finally rang, my first inkling was to get out and get myself some pho. Pho is this incredible Vietnamese soup that is designed to stabilize even the most intense human being on the planet. It is pronounced "Fuh" for those of you who aren't remotely connected to the planet.
35 I began gathering my things for a mad dash to the nearest pho place. Just as I was about to bolt, I looked over at the phone. I ran back to my desk, went to my emails, and saw the one from the District gal. All it said was "The District owes you a lot of money. Please call me at blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah."
36 Far from day, far from night... I again looked gingerly at the phone. It taunted me. It beguiled me. I looked at the notes I took down during that unearthly call, and pushed the buttons on the phone.
37 <briiiinnnnng> <--------- low budget phone ring. One ring, and an answer.
38 "Payroll. Fill-in-the Blank speaking. How may I help you?" She must have known who I was, because the phones tell you who is calling.
39 I explained who I was and the nature of the call and blah blah blah.
40 "Oh. Mr. Harrington. Yes, I'm glad you called. It seems the District owes you a significant amount of money."
41 "Uhhhh...okay? Like how much is 'significant'?"
42 "Well, according to our records, twenty-four thousand dollars."
43
44 "Wow! Are you sure? This isn't a mistake?"
45 "We are quite sure, and we wish to apologize. It seems that when you took your fifteen college units, we forgot to pay you on the proper scale. It was a dreadful oversight, but it seems we definitely owe you this money. Would you like us to pay you in increments, or would you prefer a one-lump sum?"
46 Can you even begin to imagine?
47 It gets better. "I'd prefer a one-lump sum. When will I get it?"
48 "Well, we'd like to take care of this before the first of the month."
49 I tried to remain calm. I was being told by my District that they made a huge mistake, one that I never really detected, and that they wanted to pay me off in around a week. I was essentially being told that I was an instant "thousandaire."
50 When I finally hung up the phone, I immediately told anybody within hearing range. I then backed off for a sec, because things like that just don't happen in life.
51 I went out and had pho. The people in our local pho place know I'm a teacher and asked how things were going, and about the short week, and the vacation and all. I obliged, and then sat there pondering.
52 I assumed they were mistaken, and that someday, when I'm old and crotchety (well, older and crotchetier) that they would find my mistake, and that I would owe them a ton of money. I thought every conceivable way they could have been wrong, and then I hurried back to the school to call the gal back.
53 I thought that maybe when I went from YB to EV, that they may have known of my pay increase due to the job description, but that maybe they didn't re-adjust down when I went back the classroom. Her response: "I assure you, they already adjust that stuff automatically. What we did was we gave you the money you would get at year twelve, but never went down the scale for the years you've put in."
54 Ladeez and gents, that's a LOT of years.
55 I tried every angle, but she insisted that the figure was accurate, and that they wanted to pay me as soon as possible. I wondered if I should get a lawyer. Still do, to an extent.
56 After I hung up, I stared astonished. I still stare astonished, at this late hour. I'm instantly rich, and the Catholic boy inside of me is screaming, "You don't DESERVE this!" But it's happened. I don't feel rich at all. I assume they'll take a ton out in taxes and other stuff.
57 And it isn't a million dollars or anything, but I'm still reeling.
58 And the interesting thing is, "Now what?"
59 More to come.
60 Amazing. There truly is a Santa this Christmas. Yeah, it could all turn around in an instant, but as of right now, I'm feeling pretty good.
61 As I said, more to come.
62 Peace.
~H~
www.xanga.com/bharrington
* Name omitted in order to omit a name, AND to use the first asterisk in DN history
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