October 20, 2011
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The Daily News1 It occurred to me last night that Halloween lands on a Monday this year.
2 Bleh.
3 I wish that every October 31 happened on a Friday. It’s a much better day.
4 But Halloween is one of those holidays that simply has to fall on the same date every year.
5 It’s the law.
6 I’m getting my students slightly geared up for it.
7 This time of the year is traditionally roughs up teachers, especially young teachers, because it is one of the longest stretches without some sort of break.
8 The students get antsy, but there’s no Thanksgiving or Christmas things to keep breaking things up. They often get slightly zany, with the teachers often not realizing why control issues begin happening until it seems too late.
9 I began my Halloween stuff a couple of weeks ago, planting thoughts about ghost stories and legends, and giving an assignment for students to write ghost stories, especially cultural ones.
10 Then I inundated them with lots of district standards. The standards are pretty good, but sometimes they are just teaching what things are, rather than how to think critically. The tedium then engulfs all affected.
11 I know that when I was a student, I always looked forward anxiously for lectures on gerunds and transitive verbs around this time of the year.
12 The nice thing about doing that is as a teacher you get some of that stuff out of the way, and it leaves room for activities that are more engaging, and that give students a chance to enjoy a movie, or a project, or both.
13 The day before yesterday I taught my seniors all about critical thinking, and watching out for propaganda and persuasive techniques by snake-oil salesmen.
14 This would include Madison Avenue as well as Wall Street.
15 I taught my sophomores about subordinating clauses and how to put grammatically complex sentences together.
16 In other words, I injected them with verbal ether. Muhahahahahaha!!!
17 The second they came in ready for more, I announced that we were going to watch The Sixth Sense yesterday. The Sixth Sense is a neo-classic film about ghosts, and it stars Bruce Willis.
18 I lay down some groundwork first, however.
19 I told them that it was NOT time to talk, or to put on headphones, nor to ignore things. I then said, “Or I shall turn off the film, and give you this!”
20 And like some Irish priest in a Satan movie, I held up an English grammar book. Lightning bolts flew across the room. A pit of snakes opened up in the middle of the floor. The Ark of the Covenant elevated before their disbelieving eyes, exploding with an intense green light, the remaining participles and prepositions tinkling to the floor like cracked glass. And then all was silence.
21 “Or you could engage yourselves, sit on the floor and watch this!”
22 Several students immediately jumped in front of the teevee, like it was a giant living room. I had the audio hooked up to some small Altec amps, enough that the eerie music had them holding on to one another for dear life.
23 At one point, the opening music boomed one of those sudden loud sounds that happen during scary movies. I froze in place and looked around with my eyeballs. I then relaxed my shoulders and walked over to the door. The film checked them in.
24 Once they were there the film did the rest. It begins with Willis, a child psychologist, enjoying a glass of wine with his wife, Olivia Williams with both admiring an award he has just won. The wine makes the two of them frisky. I have this piece of paper with a stick figure of a guy named “Mr. Censor” that I keep on the television cart for just such moments.
25 The second they began getting too frisky, I popped it onto the screen. “You can’t watch this!” I said, and I stood looking quite serious. They laughed their asses off, of course. Mr. Censor sticks to the screen because of the static electricity, but always begins peeling off. So you hear these too kissing and going at it, and Mr. Censor begins to fall and curl down like pants on the floor. It works every single time, and gets everybody laughing.
26 Eventually, they all settle in and keep watching. In the meantime, I’m generating absolutely no paperwork for three days, and I can concentrate on grading my major essays.
27 This takes them through Friday. They had a Homecoming rally last night, and a bunch of Homecoming activities going up to the game vs. YB on Friday.
28 Teaching is never easy, but sometimes we forget that students are just human beings, and that they enjoy a little easy time. I refuse to cram stuff down their throats all the time, only to get frustrated when they get antsy during October.
29 October unguided could turn into a Tsunami, especially for younger teachers not seeing it coming. By October, the students begin thinking, “Okay Teach, I’ve seen this schtick since August. What else you got?”
30 Uh…scary stories about local haunts, a classic ghost film, Spirit Week, and two days of ghost stories in a darkened theatre next week? The second I announced The Sixth Sense they got wildly excited. They never saw it coming.
31 One girl in my first period English 2A class jumped up and blurted out, “This is officially my favorite class!”
32 Fun. They’re caught up on the standards, and I rewarded them for hard work. We are now enjoying two weeks of legends, stories, cultural traditions, and just plain fun. I’m catching up with all my work; lesson planning is on hold for two weeks; most of the paperwork and homework is done for this grading period, and I’m refreshed and having a ball messing with these guys.
33 Kids with learning disabilities and low-English skills LOVE the ghost stories in the theater also. They can’t always perform well on paper, but over the years many of them suddenly open up and tell some awesome stories. They enjoy the unit more than the advanced students, so it all works, on nearly every level. It is near perfect.
34 Oh, the DVD could scratch. The sound could peter out. Anything could go wrong at any moment. But for right now, it’s nice to have the years of experience. This was always one of my favorite things when I pretty much owned the YB Theatre. I’ve just added to it, but it’s something I’ve done since I was a student teacher.
35 And I never tire of it.
36 I feel like a mad scientist ready to go in for more experiments this morning.
37 Can’t wait. Sometimes I think have the worst job in the world.
38 Other times I feel blessed to have the best.
39 Today is one of those days.
40 So I’m going to go in and watch all the classic scenes: Cole speaking Latin early on, the perfect timing of “I see dead people,” Stuttering Stanley, the cold, winter frost that emits from people’s mouths, the color red repeating every time there is an interaction with the other side, the father watching his wife slowly poisoning his daughter, and the insane discovery scene at the end.
41 Classic stuff.
42 Fun.
43 Have a great day. Hope this made you smile.
44 Peace.
~H~
