50   Who needs to disappear?

51   Think about it. Name ten. Number each down the page. Just for your own sanity.

52    See ya agin.

 The Daily News

1  I name my guitars. A lot of guitar players do. Keith Richards does. So does Chuck Berry, who may very well have started it all with Maybelline.

2   All of my guitars have exited the garage and are now taking up room in the house. It's okay because there is room. So it's fun, because a lot of them have been sitting in cases like old skeletons, not being touched. They have the dusts of ancient cultures protecting them, and now they are back inside, daring me to blow off the dust and seek the most precious treasures on Earth.

3   I have a lot of old-school hard-shell cases, which operate as sort of sarcophagi for old guitars.

4   It is said that guitars get better with age. So do old rockers.

5    Well then, that's a nice thing. Here's what awaits: I have Black Peter, for example. He's a sort of metal-body banjo-sounding thing I haven't played in around two years. Cool cat, lookin' for a kitty. Gonna search in every corner of the city. Total banjo/dobro pure metal guitar. Heavy as hell, but with a really fun, country-twang sound. Nashville Cats stuff. Grateful Deady Freddy stuff. Black Peter, named after the immortal song about a guy "layin' in my bed, dyin'."  Lyrics by Robert Hunter.

6   I've got ol' Scratch, the Yamaha FG-200 that many of you saw over the years. I had Scratch when we did our first Godspell my first year at YB. I call the guy Scratch because he was my first really sweet-sounding guitar, and I used to take him everywhere he could get knocked around. Ocean promontories were his main bag, but anywhere with a sharp corner or a maniacal party also gave in to new knicks and claw marks.

7   He was my companion in college. I got him for $15 a month from some hippy-owned guitar store. The day I walked into the guitar store, I was just buzzing from Siddhartha and waterfalls. I used to like going in to old guitar shops and noodling. Especially when you are young and in college, and seeking Absolute Truth.

8   This one day I saw Scratch. He was expensive even back then, and looked more like a young beauty than an old ass-scratcher. Anyway, I had played a few out-of tune twangy things when I saw the guy over in the corner of the store. Trust me, there are some dull-sounding guitars hanging on a lot of loud walls.

9   The day I picked up Scratch though, was the day that I sat down and instantly felt that I had locked in with all Secrets in the Universe. I began strumming. I think the song was Gettin' in Tune by the Who. At the time it sounded better than the original artists, and certainly brought music to the very stars.

10   The memory lapses, but that's a song I often play when I pick up a brand new guitar. It's a fitting song.

11   The entire store seemed to be in a pure rainbow bubble. The music coming out of that guitar made me shiver, and it was good. Metaphors mixed. I turned into the Star Child looking down with thumb in mouth, a floating, spiritual embryo on a birth ride through the Universe.

12   Some hippy dude in the store came over, because he could see I was absolutely in a Zen moment. Glassy eyed, staring into the dazzling eyes of Absolute Truth.

13   He didn't push me. He asked if I liked the guitar, which was obviously leading the Witness. I was in the middle of a religious experience, and this guy glowed in a robe and sandals.

14   I knew instantly that I wasn't going to be able to afford the two-hundred fifty bones that was the asking price. But the guy could see that the guitar knocked me out. He asked if I would care to rent it for fifteen bucks.

15   I looked up and smiled. I told him I had no credit and he said, "No prob dude. You could rent it for fifteen a month until it's paid, and then you own it. No down, no interest." My eyes widened, because I don't know that I ever had a material thing that wonderfully spiritual in my entire life.

16   At the time I was a poor, starving college student, but I did somehow manage to muster fifteen. Within minutes, I was out the door with a brand new guitar and hard case. I went home and must have played for six hours. Life would never again be the same. Scratch had a subtle percussive feel with multi-tones. I could play The Other One acoustically with my finger tips and hands. Notes fell like gentle rain.

17   I wound up taking Scratch everywhere: to the mountains, to the lakes, to the coast, to every conceivable party where people liked to sing. To YB for Godspell. For every Godspell, and for every time we would do a show with Godspell tunes. And even into my present classroom, The Café Verona, aka The Cathedral,  high atop the Chill-on-the Hill. We've been everywhere, man.

 

18   Right now Scratch sits in my home office tuned to a five-string G-blues tuning. He has a capo clamped to the headstock, the very tiptop of a guitar, and a steel slide hanging on the capo, good pals, good compadres. I just played No Expectations on him two days ago, along with a country move on Twist and Shout. To me it sounded like heaven once more. To the layman, it probably sounded like a cat with his paw in a mousetrap. New chords, newer tunes, ballads changing into strange sounds. I daydreamed and still played.

19   It has been fun looking around at all the other dusty cases. I am feeling a bit like a Pharaoh in the anteroom of a pyramid. As I open each guitar I get giddy, because they are all in excellent condition, quite well-preserved AND playable. I haven't opened Black Peter yet, but when I have time, I'm going to.

20   I also have Annabel, named after Annabel Lee. Here's her bit: After Scratch started getting cut by sea rocks, spoons, shells, kazoos, and anything else I could use for a pick over the years, he began to look a bit tattered. Kind of like ol' Keith Richards. Great, if you ask me, because I could still take him anywhere, often without the case. He just keeps playing beautifully as long as I keep him in sweet Martin strings, and as long as I avoid the eleventh fret on the high E string. It kind of twangs out, but it sort of makes me smile.

21   Annabel is the reincarnation and spiritual sister to ol' Scratch. She's not quite as tonal, and not quite as amazing sounding, but she is brunette, and she's really pretty. I always play her a bit more gently, sort of a ballad deal. She's my main squeeze when it comes to guitars, and she's a lover. Sweet stuff, goes with all things nice.

22   I have a twelve-string that usually becomes an eleven-string because of one of the tuning keys that seems to need pliers. Some unkown brand, but with a bright sound, and really fun to play open Byrds-style Roger McGuinn stuff. California Dreamin', as full-bodied and bright as they come.

23   I never named that guitar. It was a replacement from my original twelve that some maniac student slammed into a wall and crunched in a fit of rockstar idiocy. It was actually a trade-up, even though at the time I came to realize that there are some students who are completely psycho.

24   And I have Cheyenne, given to me by the Class of '05 in front of the an entire banquet of clubs and classes. I had recently purchased this cool Ovation for $75 at the Flea Market, one of the best deals I ever had. I named it Cheyenne because it had this sort of Native American look and feel to it.

25   Unfortunately I never got a case for it. I left it leaning against the stage, and it got accidentally knocked over. The neck broke off, and I was a little upset, but more at myself for leaving it so vulnerable. I had no real buy-in on that one, but it was one of those deals that didn't cost much anyway, so I sort of blew it off. I hadn't made any sort of connection with it.

26   At this banquet,the immortal Maggie Pham got on the mic and asked me to come down, and not to look. I thought I was going to get some huge painting of myself or something. I stood in abject fear. She told me not to look, and finally to turn and open my eyes. She held this gorgeous burgundy Ovation in front of me. I stood dumbfounded. A lot of applause, and one great moment in the life of a teacher.

27   I named that one Cheyenne 2, but eventually decided that it was truly a reincarnation of Cheyenne 1, so it is now Cheyenne. I originally wanted to call it Shy  Ann, but decided that I liked the more native-American feel to the entire thing. Cheenne also is a hollow-body electric, so I get some really fun sounds out of her. I haven't played her in around three years, but she awaits patiently in a case built for her. I rest assured that she is purely preserved.

28   They're all inside. They're waiting amps, mics, polish, new strings, and picks. And despite all I've said about being overworked, I'm actually reasonably caught up, at least enough that I might be able to play with notes and silence, and with the mysterious silence between the notes.

29   Nexus. Bach knew: it isn't the notes that make the music; it is the silence between the notes.

30   If music be the food of love, play on.

31   I fully intend to do that.

32   Just thought I'd share, a litte music on a mild and mellow night.

33   And looking out, it looks to be a beautiful day.

34   I will pick up my guitar and play.

35   Just like yesterday.

36   You have a good one.

37   Peace.

 

~H~

www.xanga.com/bharrington

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3    To many of us, it seems like only yesterday that the most tragic historical moment in many of our lives took place.

4    My students have fewer and fewer memories of 9/11 with each passing year.

5    Each year I pull the above CBS documentary out of the dust and share it with students.

6    Personally I don't have any sort of political agenda. This is an amazing piece. Listen about it:

7    This documentary originally was to be a lark; it was to be a film made by FDNY vet Jim Hanlon, and it was to be about the life of a "probie", or rookie firefighter named Tony Benetatos as he learned his new trade. They began filming several months prior to 9/11/01.

8   Hanlon brought in the Laudet brothers, Jules and Gédéon to assist in filming the documentary. The idea was to catch a "probie", or a rookie new to NYFD and to watch him develop into a firefighter. It features interviews with a young Benetatos as he goes through the ritual of any rookie on any team: the older guys make him do the dishes, wash the engines, clean the poles, make dinner, and take the casual hazing, for example, having buckets of water poured over his head while he stands outside the station. That sort of thing. Jock stuff.

9   Benetatos was chosen to be with Battalion 1, headquartered in one of the closest stations to the Twin Towers at the time. Amazingly, on the morning of 9/11, Battalion 1 was called to within eight blocks of the Twin Towers to investigate a simple gas leak. It was early morning.

10   Up to that moment, the film establishes Benetatos as a "white cloud", which is to say that once he joined the FDNY, there were no fires. His nervousness and anxiety are shown constantly through the first forty or so minutes of the documentary. He wants like crazy to go out and experience his first real fire, but it doesn't seem to happen for him. Fires just didn't happen, and his anxiety became palpable.

11   A "probie" who is a "black cloud" is one who has fires the second he joins a team. A "white cloud" such as Benetatos can't seem to find anything worse than a garbage-can fire. From June, 2001 to September, his first fire is a car engine. The other firefighters rib him and give him a hard time, but his nervousness and genuine wish to be a good firefighter haunt him. He wants a real fire so he could put the anxiety behind him.

12   The morning of September 11, 2001 was a gorgeous day. The film captures the sun setting on the towers the evening before, followed by a dissolve of a bird flying past the towers at dawn. A voice-over of a radio broadcast declares that it is a beautiful morning in New York.  People on the streets bustle about, and all seems calm. The silence is broken by an alarm for a gas leak downtown.

13   Even the alarm is fairly quiet. The firefighters jump into action, and Tony somehow rides with Chief Joseph Pfeifer, who was the Battalion Chief of Battalion 1.

14   Jules Gédéon was to film this. Up to the gas leak, Jules was pretty much his brother's second banana with a camera, and he was still learning how to operate it, but had gone on a couple of runs. This was a nice opportunity for him to learn new angles, and to listen for interesting conversations, nice framings, and for him to develop quicker reflexes with the camera.

15   The gas leak was pretty non-dramatic, and at first it seemed another in a series of Tony's "white cloud" moments. We have close-ups of a city drain, and of the firefighters moving small gas detectors over the area when we notice a few firefighters looking up at the sky, and toward the Towers. It is established through dialogue that airplanes aren't often flying low in New York.

16   Instinctively, Jules follows the noise, moving his camera across and up. In a  breathless moment, his camera catches American Airlines Flight 11 smashing into the North Tower (Tower 1), changing the course of our lives, and of our history forever. All we hear is the sound of one guy repeating, "Holyt s#!t! HOLY s#!T!!!"

17   Benetatos returns to the station to answer emergency phone calls while Jules films the setting up of a staging area inside Tower 1. The remainder of the film becomes a riveting documentary of everything else that went down that day, literally from the inside out.

18   The amazing thing about this documentary is that Jules and Gédéon never stop filming. They are separated during the crises in what becomes almost three different stories astonishingly unfolding before our eyes, with 9/11 as the backdrop. It rips, disturbs, and forces us to become as frightened as all of the people in New York, whose faces stand drained in disbelief as we hear screams and sirens, we hear bodies crashing on the roof, and we witness firsthand  bravery perhaps beyond anything we could even begin to comprehend.

19  The film becomes a sort of cinéma vérité as the cameras catch the second plane, the panic in the streets, and the dissolving of first Tower 2, then of Tower 1, culminating in a blackout of the entire area. We are under Tower 1 now, and the only light becomes the light of the camera as people struggle to get out of the rubble.

20   While the film ends with the Tony making it through, and of the reunion of the Naudet brothers, it also leaves a sobering message. People who we saw earlier in the film don't get out alive, and our thoughts go out not only to their families, but to our entire loss of innocence as a nation.

21   9/11 aired on March 10, 2001, marking the six-month anniversary of the tragedy. It won numerous awards, and remains one of the most stunning achievements in film  history. It certainly stands as one of the finest documentaries I've ever seen.

22   Each year I show it to my students. And each year I realize that they are swiftly becoming farther removed from the reality of that horrible moment. My sophomores were only five at the time, and have little connection with their own history.

23   So I show them 9/11. It has no burned bodies, as the Naudet brothers decided that nobody should have to watch that. It is done with a delicate and artistic hand, and it captures only the insanity and emotions of that tragic day.

24   It is done with taste, and with class. Originally narrated by Robert DeNiro, the DVD eliminates all of his narration until the very end.

25   But each year, I am willing to present this to my students so that they can experience almost more than any of us experienced.

26   During our break yesterday, I stood outside on supervision. The sun glared on my sunglasses. A blackbird flew by. I couldn't help feeling that ten years ago, the day was also shining and hopeful. As I looked over the quad area, I saw three boys from my last class approach me. They thanked me for bringing the documentary into the classroom. These guys were pretty moved by all of it.

27   The documentary has no political agenda as far as I can see; it's just a moment in history caught on live camera for the ages to see and to think about. Nothing more.

28   This weekend, remember 9/11. Remember the people of New York, and the bravery of the police and firefighters, many of whom lost their lives trying to save others.

29   Give a thought to the families and friends of those directly affected by that day, and give prayers not only to America, but to a world that has never been quite the same since.

30   Give that some thought this weekend, and yes, it is even okay to give a silent prayer.

31   And truly, pray for peace.

32   Have a nice weekend.

33   And as always, peace.

~H~

www.xanga.com/bharrington

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Daily News

1  Fastest arrival of a Thursday all year.

2  Strange days, I must say.

3  Is it just me or does September not know what to do with itself this year?

4   On the way home yesterday I stopped at some store or other to get a few items before landing home.

5   I walked in and noticed it was eerily quiet.

6   I heard a fan, and was glad the guy had one, because it was this gas station/store somewhere in the East Hills. It isn't a 7-11, but some sort of off-shoot. About four guys with crooked hats and enormous tee-shirts stood around talking, but that was the height of the fun.

7   I looked around. Why had I come in? I think it was because a cop started following me. Anyone who knows me knows I'm somehow a cop magnet. They especially love pulling me over for taillights. The T0000000NDRA goes through taillights like Phoebe goes through bowls of water. I routinely change the lights all at once, but when they go out, they all go out at once as well.

8   They were all changed in July, so it shouldn't have been too bad, but this guy followed me for around a mile.

9   So for the second time in two days, I allowed some outside force to change my course, which ALWAYS fills me with terror. I'm quite superstitious about things like that.

10  So there I was inside this odd little store. I really didn't even know what to buy, but the heat told me that water might be a good option.

11   Didn't matter. I just walked around aimlessly. The four guys left pretty quickly, so it was just me, the proprietor, and the large fan.

12   Just eerie. I was glad the guy had a fan though, because the place had no air-conditioning.

13   I got some items, advanced to the counter, and waited. I uncomfortably blurted out, "Howdy!" and the guy sort of nodded. It felt like an hour. The cop had pulled up, so I tried to act as though I had done nothing wrong. Well, I hadn't, but I sure FELT like I had.

14   The cop finally backed out, figuring he could probably chase me down some other time, and so he zipped down the road.

15   The fan whirred. The guy still said nothing.

16    There was a slight delay while my ATM card caused some buffering, which is that had happened all day long yesterday. Everything buffered. We had a meeting. We were told that two-thirds of the staff had no email access all week. I had no idea.

17   I did experience massive buffering, but I just figure that a muggy September is built for buffering.

18   So the card buffered. And it buffered. The guy at the counter still had nothing to say, despite my delightful, "Howdy!" He just had his thumb and forefinger out awaiting a receipt.

19   He finally broke the ice with this jewel: "Hot."

20   Here's a little secret about odd moments. Anytime you have an odd moment with someone, mention the weather. There is almost nothing that can get people talking faster about nothing than the weather.

21   I felt like being a smart aleck and saying, "Really? I hadn't noticed!"

22   But I took my cue. "Yeah, but you have a nice fan here."

23   "Yes, it helps to keep it cool."

24   "Yeah. Well, I was lucky. I had air-conditioning inside all day."

25   The receipt took its cue. Coffee break's over. Back on your head.

26   I finally thanked the guy, took my items, and proceeded down the road.

27   I went past the usual places. I shot past the homeless guy who looks like Aubrey Huff in a Grateful Dead outfit. This guy sits at a corner every day wearing a red top hat and tie-dye. He has a weird totem pole, and sometimes gives lousy advice for handouts. He leaves you alone, for the most part. He has become a part of his own totem pole. He sits there every day, for hours on end.

28   I goofed on the fact that I had just spent the entire day going balls-to-the wall keeping lightning-fast lessons going, pulling down three assignments per class. The instant workload magnified with every passing minute. The paper stacks kept getting taller and taller. I watched it happen, right there, right before my very eyes.

29   The day became hectic, because it was a minimum, which meant I had to get as much teaching done in a small period of time as one could do. Monday off made yesterday pretty frantic. And THEN I had to sit at a meeting where they kept telling us to "...just email us and we'll get back...OH! That's right. The emails are down...well, if you want to sign up for supervision...just email us...OH! That's right...we're all buffering." And on and on.

30  An entire day of buffering, running on full energy, and finally getting followed home by a cop, who wasn't buffering. And I fly past this guy sitting in his Grateful Dead stuff, who has spent the entire day peacefully sitting under a tree next to his totem pole.

31   I had to ask myself, "What am I DOING?" For a brief second I actually envied the guy. All he does is sit there reading books and looking like Aubrey Huff on the dole. Heck, it might have BEEN Aubrey Huff for all I know. I don't bother listening to the games anymore. Maybe ol' Aubrey got a new gig. Maybe the guy is wearing a tie-dye thong.

32   I haven't really given up on my team. It's just that they aren't champions. I never saw a team quit like that. They just ran out of gas, and no matter what happens, their bats have been buffering all season, and so has their base-running, fielding, and thinking.

33   And it was hot yesterday. That was established by that store guy.

34   That guy was right on the money. What a conversationalist.

35   I finally got home. Got some ice water. Turned on the game. Turned off the game. Went online to take care of school business.Turned the game back on. Turned the game back off.

36   Everything buffered.

37   I turned on the news. Tragic stuff about the hockey guys. I couldn't bear it. Turned the game back on. Turned the game back off.

38   Buffering.

39   At around nine, I put on the debates. Thank God or Yaweh or Joe-the-Bear for DVR. The debates. Of course. So I put them on.

40   Here's what I heard: "Blah blah blah blah blah."

41   More buffering. More of the same. Talking heads, all part of the same party. Does anyone take democracy seriously anymore? Rich people run everything. There's only one party. The rich. Do I sound like your average Joe? Well, your average Joe is right.

42   All this buffering sent me to an early sleep.

43   I'm excited that today is a more normal day. Classes are lengthy. Lessons are normal and not compacted. The buffering will begin to wind down, and soon it will be Friday.

44   Hot.

45   Oh, you can say that again.

46   Hot.

47   Peace.

~H~

www.xanga.com/bharrington

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

    The Daily News

1  Yesterday I overslept an hour, which generally is met with, "Woo-hoo! I have to go REALLY fast this morning, but I got  me an extra HOUR!"

2   I hope that happens on Daylight Saving Time.

3   The drawback is that I could conceivably get to school in a coat, shirt and tie, but my nightmare is that I will emerge from my car in boxers with corsets and garters.

4   The image! The image! Burned into your brain! Noises off!

5   I mean I've had NIGHTMARES like that.

6   Now so will you.

7   Well, it wasn't quite that bad. But how many of us have dashed out of the house only to dash BACK for our cell phones, or our keys, or our shoes? Maybe one shoe?

8   Berkeley's illustrious Hector Sandoval once wrote on his Facebook that he checks every day for "The Holy Three", which is wallet, cell phone, and keys. Most everything else doesn't really matter. I use his wisdom each day and check on those three things.

9    I sometimes pack lunch, and other times I don't. So lunch doesn't fit into the formula.

10  The Holy Three are certainly worth considering when you have overslept, or have had to hurry yourself out the door.

11   It's just that sometimes you have to remember other things. Yesterday I had this sandwich all set to go. I cut it from a larger sandwich, which works during the week.

12   The only thing is, it is a classic Italian sandwich on sourdough. I chop an end off the thing every coupla days and don't have to make a sandwich if I feel I'll have time to go out to lunch, or even to skip lunch.

13   AnywayZ yesterday I was toppling over myself to get out the door, cut an end off the large sandwich, grabbed a sandwich zip-lock bag, and instantly realized that zip-lock bags don't always zip-lock when one is moving against the clock.

14   It was important that I get to school on time because I had a lot of tardy ish's last week, and NEEDED to get to school on time so I could begin laying the hammer down.

15   I felt like a basketball player dribbling around with around ten seconds left, looking desperately for a shot that would save a one-point loss.

16   No matter how much I tried to Zen out and lock the zip, it wouldn't lay down. I wound up just gobbling as much of the thing as I could open face.

17   Now...

18   While much lighter fare, since half the bread isn't going to be used, I also got lettuce, tomatoes, and bits of lunch meat all over my cheeks and on the tip of my nose.

19   I grabbed some paper towels, but it was pretty messy. I managed to clean up, even to wash with a tab of soap and water, and still got out, but all day I had visions of baloney hanging off my cheeks and chin.Carrie goes baloney.

20   And on the way to school, I kept goofing on the failure of the zip-lock, and how ill-named it is. In any sort of pinch, there is nothing "zip" about it.

21   Part of the challenge is to realize you absolutely must have large gallon bags around, something I always forget to buy when shopping.

22   There are some items I just continually forget to buy at the store. Pepper is another, because who's EVER out of pepper?

23   The entire day I worried, even though every time I looked in the mirror, there was the same pretty little face.No baloney. No mayo. No soggy lettuce. Just cute lil' dimples.

24   Baloney and mayo trauma, all day long due to zip-lock bags.

25   Sometimes it's the little things, man. I got out of it safely, thank the Lawd, or Joe-the-Bear. Or whoevs. 

26   Moving on, Part the Second: Do you ever get preoccupied with food on days like those? I worry a lot about ingesting too much in the course of a day. First, I don't particularly like having anything to eat at school, because I know that the second I take a bite of something, some student will come in to question a grade, or some parent might come in for an unannounced visit. Quick mayo clinic.

27   I really don't like almost choking to death because I get surprises like that. They only work if they are people I like, or people I haven't seen in a while. Otherwise they are people making me work while I'm trying to enjoy lunch.

28   Because I never was able to really eat earlier to stave it off, I fell into a craving for an egg roll yesterday. Just one.

29   We have a Lee's Sammiches over by my school, but it doesn't take ATM cards, and I was cash poor.

30   I saw that every place I could get to an ATM had guys walking around in front asking for handouts. I GET it, especially in these hard times, but I really don't like being approached by strangers. I'll give to causes and all, but I pretty much don't know who is coming up to me, so I will admit here that I sometimes avoid an entire shopping area just so I won't get approached.

31   It seemed no matter where I went, there was somebody causing me to change my route. My own fault, granted. I'm also a little superstitious about some outside force changing my basic game plan.

32   I wound up driving around, heading for this pho place that I like, but then realized it is closed on Tuesdays. I knew this, but forgot it was Tuesday. Curse Tuesdays, I swear to you.

33   All I wanted was one stupid egg roll. Sometimes I am the most Asian white guy around. Fewer calories, and I knew I just needed something to stave off the craving. And I don't know about anyone else, but when I am in need of egg roll, you best clear a path. I WILL mow you down for one.

34   I finally remembered another pho place near school, and that it took ATM's!

35   I went in. They seated me immediately. I looked at the menu.

36   No egg rolls.

37   OMG! Are ya KIDDIN' meeeeeeeee?

38   It all traced back to that stupid zip-lock. I wound up getting a pretty nice steaming bowl of fat pho, but yeesh.

39   I thought, "If I choke on a bean sprout, I'm going to sue that zip-lock company!" Of course, it wasn't the REAL Zip-Lock company, just some low-budget generic version.

40   I also thought about how one small thing can so completely dominate a person's day.

42   I also thought of how many people change their routine because of something like a hot egg roll, or a slow zip-lock, and if all of life's subsequent changes might be the cause of those tiny changes in plan. I am so Carl Jung sometimes.

43   In the old Superman comic books, if Superman went back in time and changed the slightest thing, it could cause the entire destruction of the human race.Jung felt that small thoughts could conceivably cause other events to happen.

44  You non-comic fans out there might not get that thinking, but I could already hear the necks cracking on all of you who do.

45   Today I'm gonna get up early and make a small sandwich, I think. I may wind up going out for something else later. Or maybe I'll just grab a couple of oranges and call it a day.

46   It's healthier, and there's a good job the planet might make it one day longer if I just chill.

47   Sandwich/egg roll crisis averted.

48   Have a great day, and have a great lunch. Just get out the door, and don't take any wrong turns. It isn't worth it.

49   Peace.

~H~

www.xanga.com/bharrington

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Daily News

1  Welcome back! Hope you had a wonderful three-day!

2   It's just wid coming back on a Tuesday.

3   We have today and THEN a minimum day tomorrow so we could squeeze in some meetings.

4   Seems like we just HAD meetings.

5   Ah, vell.

6   Is it yet time to begin focusing on Halloween?

7   I saw a magazine on the rack a few days ago. It was called "Halloween". At first I thought, "How absurd! Someone has made a two-month magazine about an annual celebration?" Then I realized it was put out by Woman's Day.

8   It was funny because I had just mentioned all about how corporate America controls the seasons, and there it was, big as day.

9   I didn't thumb through it, because I assumed it had cupcake recipes, spooky drinks, and clever costumes you could make on a dime.

10  Sugar and textiles are big industries, just for the record.

11  Well, to me it's still too early. I have enough things to scare me on a daily basis, so I'll hold off a bit on Halloween, even though I do enjoy it.

12   Moving on, Part the First: Odd times. I will reiterate that this time of the year is strange and eerie. Muggy, smoggy weather and what seems like long days really stretch reality into a sort of hazy sepia landscape with long, odd shadows.

13  When there is time off, it really stretches things and all. Last year, we had the bizarre orange-and-black circus to occupy our time. Even non-Giants' fans looked at that premature Halloween party and stared. To me it was a constant celebration and constant fun taken to a new level.

14   To the non-Giants' fan, I can only guess it was a horror show.

15   Not to worry this year. I think the thing is going away. The cockiness, the thongs, the beards, the Machine, all suddenly resembling some quirky orange-and-black Vonnegut story.

16   The last thing any sports' fan wants is never to win a championship. The second-to-the last thing a sports' fan wants is a team that wins a championship on steroids. The third-to-the last thing a sports' fan wants is to see his/her team being looked at as an international flash-in-the pan.

17  Hubris, I imagine, is best served cold.

18   Moving on, Part Two: And so this is Tuesday. The week simply shouldn't begin on a Tuesday. People who have followed this ridiculousness understand my mini-campaign against Tuesdays. If you were born on a Tuesday, I apologize. But to me, it is a day that could be eliminated as a day of the week.

19  If it were, we'd be starting this week on a Wednesday, and it would almost be the weekend again. Not that I'm against working, but I am against going into work strung out after a weekend. Mondays are for doing that.

20   Mondays are the weekend's doormat to the new week. We wipe our feet on it, hang up a coat, drag ourselves to coffee if we drink coffee, and scrape through the day. I generally say, "Fly low" on a Monday.

21   In general, Mondays tend to disappear  pretty rapidly, because NOBODY who is serious about anything goes balls-to-the wall on Monday.

22 

??????????

23   Military term. I'm innocent.

24   And for the first time in DN history, I will use Urban Dictionary as a source:

Balls-to-the Wall:

Originally a military term for pushing G-forces in a jetliner aircraft, as in pushing the ball of a throttle as high as it will go (virtually touching the wall of the dashboard.)

25   Hey, it's from the infamous Urban Dictionary, a top-notch research lexicon of horror and belly laughs.

26   It's almost TOO easy, so I have deliberately left it off the DN, even though I've admittedly had a laugh or two taking a peek. But even the good ol' rebel DN has its standards, and I do like to keep this as a cutting-edge family show.

27   <snicker, snicker!>

28   Ah, c'mon, lighten up. It's Tuesday! The kiddies are off in school, and the only people reading this drivel are people who like to sip coffee until some item causes the coffee to go through their eys and out their nostrils.

29   Otherwise find something else to offend you. There's plenty out there, beginning with teen-age boys' who wear pants about a half foot above their knobby knees.

30   I always thought the look was somehow mysteriously connected with large baseball hats being worn cock-eyed. And ironed, over-sized tee shirts with crisp creases.

31   I'm thinking of trading in my OG zoot suit and sporting a more casual approach myself.

32   Oh, the image! Are your eyes yet burning?

33   Just kidding. I'll stay with the jeans that are too big and hang off me, shirt buttoned so tight that my head goes lightbulb, old crooked tie, leather jacket, and Indiana Jones' hat.

34   When you got it, flaunt it.

35   Moving on, Part the Third: The only reason we're moving on to Part the Third is that Part the Second needed an escape clause. Have I talked enough that it's time to go to the fridge and pull out that last cupcake that is clinging to an old pan?

36   Methinks.

37   On Friday it was some kid's birthday in my fifth-period class, which at EV is just before lunch. A girl came in with a pan of cupcakes and some chocolate frosting on the side. She walked right up to my desk, put the tray in front of me and offered me a cupcake. Somehow they were fresh out of the oven.

38   What a ruse. And I was starving! It worked ridiculously! I smiled at the kind offer, and took the cupcake, no frosting.

39   Within a half minute, the birthday boy's desk swarmed with students. The room instantly became a frosted hive of high-fives, braces and cake. I laughed knowing I had been duped. The kids, of course, LOVED it, because they could a) stall the beginning of class, and b) eat sugar.

40  Well, it WAS Friday, and it WAS the kid's birthday. My only hesitation is that EVERY day is SOME kid's birthday. That's why I never sing happy birthday to kids. If they want to, it's fine, but from a teaching perspective I know the odds of it being someone's birthday on any given day. Pretty high. 

41   Class sizes are now up around 35, so the odds of it being someone's birthday are pretty good. We often have two birthdays going on, maybe a two-day hiatus,and then someone else turning up with cupcakes and balloons.

42  This was the same day that a girl in my third period class offered me my first Nuttella. She had ALREADY dipped it in chocolate frosting,so I bit into what seemed like a toasted matchstick with chocolate. I'm pretty sure the two incidents were unrelated, but I did call the police to investigate.

43   Wasn't doughnuts.

44   No luck.

45   Anyway, I'm hoping that the weekend erased all memory of the precedents I allowed to happen on Friday. As a teacher, I need to monitor those things. Sugar. Bad teacher. Eating in class. Still worse. SO many issues. Health. Teeth. Kids who don't get in on the deal. Overweight rodents. You get the drift. You can't have cupcakes. That simple. You can't even ESTABLISH cupcakes.

46   Unless it's the Friday of a three-day. Or unless it's some sugary holiday, and which holiday isn't? Or a birthday party for a kid who is all ears and braces.

47    So looks like I'm going in on a Tuesday, balls-clearly-not to the wall, and I really think I'll tiptoe through the entire day and avoid the radar.

48   Have a lovely re-entry.

49   Fly low.

50   Holla.

51   Peace.

~H~

www.xanga.com/bharrington

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  The Daily News

1  If the 49ers win the Super Bowl with Alex Smith at the helm, I'll eat my hat.

2  If the Giants win the World Series, I'll eat my shoe.

3  Notice it's any hat, but only one shoe.

4   If the A's win five more ballgames, I'll eat a can of beets.

5   If the Raiders win six games, I'll eat the Oakland Coliseum. Or whatever they call it these days.

6   If the Sharks win the Stanley Cup, I'll eat seafood every day for a year.

7   If the Warriors win the NBA Championship, it'll be because I will be in there playing defense for them. I'll also eat a basketball.

8   I'll steer clear of saying anything bold about college sports, car racing, poker, Tiger, tennis, and on and on.

9   I'm a little worried about all the weight I'd gain.

10  Hey.

11  Dude.

12  It's Friday.

13  Lighten up.

14  This week's over. AND you should have a three-day.

15   Let's roar.

16   Or lie around and do nothing.

17   That's more it.

18   Summer's last gasp.

19   Yesterday I saw some guy upping the sign at his Shell station. It looked laborious, and all I could think of was how those guys must get tired of people yelling insults from their cars at the poor guy who has to change those signs.  Too bad he couldn't hang this sign up.  I always thought this was sort of fun:

20  Maybe not so much.

21  According to some, gas prices traditionally fall during Labor Day.

22  Not the case this year. They are climbing at record rates.

23  There's a way to avoid all that, dontcha know.

24   Ah, whatevs.

25  Moving on, Part the First:  This time of year has a lot of "Ah, whatevs".

26   To me part of this weekend is a time to clean around the house, visit a few people, and hang out. I'm not about to put a bunch of summer stuff in the back of the T000000NDRA and fly to some lake, or anything that adventurous.

27   And if I know me, I'll probably spend Monday preparing lessons so that Tuesday doesn't hit me in the head.

28   Wow. You aren't supposed to even THINK about Tuesday when it's Friday of the last three-day of the summer.

29   So yeah.

30   I might think about picking up and finishing the three summer reads I keep toting around. Never fails. I have one with a Big Lots receipt marking where I left off, around page 698 of an 800-page job. A second has a thin ruler marking the page. One even has a Kleenex, but it's a story about an extremely stuffy family.

31   <groan>.

32   AnywayZ sports' fans, I think I'll keep this one Friday lite. I have obviously a big weekend ahead and I don't want to spend all of it here. Too much like work.

33   So whatever you wish to do, go out and do it. No boycotts, no nothing. Just enjoy the weekend for whatever it is and for wherever it takes you. Stay safe no matter what else. And keep out of trouble.

34   Or at least hide from it and giggle.

35   See ya; I'm out.

36   Peace.

~H~

www.xanga.com/bharrington

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Daily News

1  Havin' fun?

2  It's Thursday yo.

3  Yo.

4  When did it ever come to this?

5  Ah, whatevs.

6  Oh, my. Where to begin?

7   Ah, howzbout this: yesterday's DN was all about how absolutely odd and strange early September is.

8   I talked a bit about how it really doesn't start to turn around until right before Halloween, but that's a bit of a stretch.

9   Yesterday I went to a shopping center after the school day. As I hopped back into the TOOOOOONDRA after shopping, I looked up and saw a vision.

10  Staring back at me was a gigantic sign over a building that had been empty for almost a year. A huge banner ran across the front of the place.

11  It said, "Halloween Store"!I  immediately broke into an enormous smile.

12  When I got home, I went online just to catch up with emails and what not.

13   I jumped over to Facebook and at least three different people were already getting excited about what they were going to be for Halloween!

14  Good ol' corporate America. Must have felt my September blues from the day before. At last! Something to live for in early September! Last year I had both Halloween AND the Giants, and all the colors meshed! But woe to this year!

15   So I mentioned in an earlier DN that corporate America is quite big on letting us know what season it is. And that in the past fifteen years they've been coming in really early every year, so that people could spend WAY more money on products.

16   Halloween is one that they really love. Me too. It used to be that Halloween just had lots of costumes and a few minor props to throw out in front of houses. The less-spirited might spray a few spider webs and throw a coffin or two out on front porches or yards.

17  Now they have strobe lights, huge props, stringed lights, sounds, mechanical candy holders, and a ton of other devices almost rivaling Christmas.

18   Halloween has always been one of my favorite seasons. Heck, if I could, I'd STILL dress up and go to someone's house for free sweets. This year I'd go as Don Coreleone.

19   The only thing is, they'd probably think I was the real deal and give me the entire bowl of candy, along with blessings.

20   I stopped dressing up and walking around a year or two ago anyway.

21   I really was getting too old to get free candy and handouts. Plus people were getting on to me.

22   Three years ago I wanted to buy every single green strand of lights I could find and make my place look like the set for Wicked. Never got around to it. I'm toying with doing that again this year, but Wicked is sort of slipping down in the ratings. Two years ago it would have been right on the money. Wickedmania really struck town when it went to the Orpheum in San Francisco that year.

23   In downtown SF, City Hall was lit green, if you recall.

24   So a mini-Wicked set in my yard would have been perfect except that in 2008, I was ridiculously overworked to the point that I almost couldn't even answer a phone call because it would cost me time.

25   This year is WAY better. I've been all over my game and quite ahead of things. I do think a Wicked theme would still be awesome, but just out of time.

26   Meanwhile, corporate America must have felt my pulse two days ago and called a few people to kick Halloween into full motion.

27   I've actually seen Halloween begin earlier, but this turned out to be okay with me.

28   A part of me thinks we have now become dependent on corporate America's ideas about when the seasons should kick in.

29   And a large part of me is none too happy with a lot of things corporate. The greed and corruption up there is almost unbelievable if you read behind a lot of headlines.

30  But the idea of marketing every small season there is sells stuff, and we buy into it, at least I do. I even teach seasonally! Next week, for example, I have some excellent materials for 9/11. A lot of us remember it like it was yesterday, but today's students are getting further and further away from that tragic day.

31   Halloween, of course, is when I go into the ghosts and legends unit I annually do and have done since I was a student teacher, back when kids took notes on slates. This year should be amazing, since quests, legends, and storytelling are a large part of world literature. I'm really looking forward to doing that unit, as already my Seniors are writing about epic heroes and famous tales.

32   I teach seasonally because I always did. It always seemed to work because it dovetails perfectly with corporate America's idea of the seasons. All the marketing out there controls our shopping all year. All the advertising creates these great entrepreneurial waves.

33  With all that support, my choices of literature become like Halloween candy. I found that we have a class set of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, for example, AND that I'm allowed to teach it. I found that out  a  couple of weeks ago.

34   I read it on my own years ago and absolutely loved it. At the time, it wasn't considered a classic for some reason. I thought it was brilliant, and drank it down like a drowsy dram of absinthe.

35   I never thought it would be something we could actually teach though. Frankenstein, not abinthe.

36   So right when I was sighing about the lack of anything seasonal running through September, I run into a Halloween store.

37   I had mixed emotions, of course, because I'm always wary of how corporate America controls every aspect of our lives.

38  But the world has come to depend on these rituals. Always has, and we all know it isn't unique to America. The entire world has rituals to celebrate different things, and we all look forward to different holidays throughout the year. Nothing new, except when you think of America as a consumer nation. In trinkets and useless boushit we trust.

39  America tends to go overboard on everything, but that's good ol' capitalism at its best. And if the advertising is there, I might as well take advantage of it and plan accordingly.

40  I know very few students who haven't enjoyed the annual ritual of telling stories in a darkened Theatre each year. It's one of my classic traditions, and they even allow me to use the EV Theatre annually. Last year I invited the principal, and she and a liason came in and enjoyed the stories with us! It's always dark, scary, and filled with awesome coincidences and strange occurrences nearly every year. Here's one, just as a cold-up:

41  My first year at EV, I was in the Activities Office late one night, finishing up some project or other. It was a day or so before Halloween and I was in a Poe unit. I don't recall what it was I was working on, but I had a few ghost books around my desk, and I think I was just lesson planning after a volleyball game or something. I really don't recall. But it was late, like around 10 p.m., and a little spooky. But the computer screen kept me comforted, so I kept working.

42   I suddenly heard this loud flutter, and looked at the broken television set in my office.

43   A black bird had flown in and landed on the top of the small teevee. I was taken aback, to say the least. It just stood, turning its head, staring, flapping its wings and then staring again.

44   At first I stood a little frightened, but I soon broke into an sort of wry smile. The thing just sat there. It continued to quirk its head this way and that, and it stayed for a few moments.

45   It eventually flew back into Cougar Hall, our cafeteria adjacent to my office, flitted out the doors, and soared into the October sky.

46   True story, one of what now seems like a billion true stories, almost all with almost unbelievable coincidences.

47   So, where to begin.

48    I had to ask.

49   I think the year just got better.

50   So if you don't mind, I think I'm about to get my Wicked on.

51   Oh, and no flash photography, please.

52   Have an awesome day.

53   Peace.

~H~

www.xanga.com/bharrington