August 23, 2011
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The Daily News
1 So I definitely did get hacked.
2 And that's the end of it.
3 To me it's like giving some lunatic his laugh by even discussing it.
4 So I'm done.
5 Someone hacked me.
6 And this is the last I'll say about it.
7 Done.
8 Moving on, Part the First: Yesterday was a beast in the classroom. I had to finish up discussing my Mensa test, which was ridiculously hard. First, it had a bunch of math word "problems" that I was able to figure out on my own. I had decided when I gave the test that I would figure out all the riddles on my own, and THEN look at the answers to see if I got them right.
9 Amazingly, I did really well in the math area, which I've always been pretty good at anyway. People automatically think that English teachers can't think like math guys, but that simply wasn't the case.
10 Here was one that I not only figured out a few weeks ago, but had to come back and explain to my students:
ABCD
X 9
_____
DCBA11 The answer is not zeros. Each letter is a different number.
12 I had twenty things like this, cross-curricula (if we are allowed still to speak Latin, which I can do in short bursts.) . I'll give you the answer tomorrow, but meanwhile, toss that one around for a bit.
13 The tough part wasn't figuring it out; the tough part was remembering HOW I arrived at an answer, and THEN explaining it. I literally had to go back through the thing and to break it down.
14 Like, I could quote Shakespeare and Tennyson, but ME explaining a somewhat complicated math piece was pretty epic.
15 Yesterday consisted of me breaking down around twenty of these, THEN dishing out twenty vocabulary words. At the end of the day I almost went over.
16 The entire idea was to hit these guys the second they walked in. Summer has come and gone, and they needed to be busted in the chops coming right out of the chute. It's the only way. It's like jumping into the ocean. You just jump in and let it ice you. The reality of school can be brutal, especially in a school that performs.
17 But yeesh!
18 I was still gardening, resting, playing guitar, and hanging with my flowers. It is difficult suddenly to have nervousness and deadlines suddenly surrounding a person.
19 So yesterday was the reality check for both the students and myself.
20 I do this each year, but this Mensa test was much more diffiult than the one I traditionally have given. They're sophomores and seniors, so I wanted them alert and on their toes.
21 I set the bar pretty high already. I don't want to make it so difficult that they ignore their other classes, but I do want to challenge them. I have a reputation for being a tad easy. I don't mind, because I still want students to laugh and relax in my classes. I want them to love learning as I do. But it's always a thin line. I also want my classes to be filled with laughter and with music a lot of group stuff, because you have your entire adult life to become serious, and it does get serious.
22 So laughter, music, and nice memories are a great way to swim through the teenage years. It also keeps me young, for what it's worth.
23 Moving on, Part the Second: I didn't get a hold of Nicoley, but I did get word that her first day was enormously successful. I pretty much graded a bunch of papers yesterday, got home late, made some dinner, and proceeded to conk out. I wanted to let her know publicly that I'm proud of her, and I hope she had an amazing day before I do conk out. So Coley, here's to you, Miss Harrington! A quick sidebar: they call her "Miss H." Am I a proud papa? You bet. I was always "Mistah H", or in later years, simply "H", which I wear to this day, and which I love to this day. So "Miss H", here's to you!
24 Moving on, Part the Thoid: Lecturing all day long can be startlingly exhausting, believe it or not. I've been reading Keith Richards' autobiography called Life, and he talks a bit about when the Rolling Stones broke up in the late eighties, how he had suddenly to become the front man for his own band, the X-Pensive Winos (cheery name!) and how singing for two-and-a half hours required excessive breathing and all. Although he was ticked off at Mick Jagger at the time, he did understand how much more difficult it was to have to carry a concert. His toughest work up 'til then was slinging different guitars over his shoulder and flicking the occasional pick out to the crowd.
25 Anyone who has sung or who has performed as a lead in a play understands the absolute exhaustion involved in talking for hours on end. I always imagine that radio talk-show hosts go through the same thing. It is not physically demanding, but the simple flow of air for five hours at a time can make a person mentally collapse. Sleep is always a soft pillow away.
26 Singers get that. Actors get that. Talk-show hosts get that. And I'm pretty sure dancers laugh at that.
27 Teaching is a performing art. As a person who has taught performing arts for a few years, I don't think I'm out of my element when I say that. Teachers just don't know that. Some actually should. How many of us have been the victims of brilliant professors who have utterly no game in the classroom? We respect their intelligence, but they refuse to see that they are on a stage, every single day. AND they adamantly refuse to entertain.
28 I'm not saying that teaching should be a floor show, but anyone who thinks talking for a full hour is going to engage anyone is fooling himself/herself.
29 Glad I qualified that.
30 A LOT of what I do is scripted. And as the years go by, I realize that the most important things to say are the things you DON'T say. For example, have you ever had that little voice in your head say, "Hold off on that comment; it's stupid!" only to blurt it out anyway? What you need to realize is that you can't take it back once you blurt it out. As a teacher you learn this rather quickly, at least if you are serious about being good. Staying classy is an art of itself, and you'd be surprised as to how many teachers screw that one up AND never learn to adjust their lessons.
31 Dude. If it went over like a lead ball in your first class in the morning, what makes you think that it will suddenly get a laugh or a response the next period? Chuck it. Instantly. Stay classy and take the high road whenever possible. That's professionalism.
32 End of teaching lesson.
33 Well, it's now 3:30 a.m. as I write this. I thought I had a handle on my insomnia, but clearly not. I forgot what lecturing all day can do to put a guy down by 9 p.m. I awakened at around 2:30 a.m. and have been wide awake ever since. Papers are all graded, and lessons in the tank, but this is sort of how it happens. After all these years I'm convinced that the only way to teach is to awaken, relax with a little writing, and then go back to sleep.
34 It isn't really by design, it is simply thrust upon me. I can deal. I likened teaching to firefighting or being a cop. No such thing as normal hours. I actually feel like going to Carrow's, or the ocean right now. But it's a little late for that. Had I awakened at around 1 a.m. I might have considered it.
35 But I think it's about time to throw a blanket back over me and to hide for a few hours. I'll awaken fresh as a daisy, armed and ready for another go of it.
36 And Coley, if you're reading this, get to bed early and sleep through the night. Don't look to this old brown shoe for inspiration. He does all the wrong things, and they still somehow turn out right. Maybe it's being a Giants' fan that does that to a bloke. But learn good habits; this ain't the way to teach.
37 Somehow it does work for me, but it is a strange brew, to be sure.
38 So with that, I bid you all a good night, and an even better morning.
39 Live life.
40 Love life.
41 Peace.
~H~
