May 26, 2011
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1 Because I never talk about Oprah doesn't mean I was never a fan. In fact, the less I talk about some people the more I admire them. Oprah is one such person. I always thought she was as good as Johnny Carson used to be on the Tonight Show.
2 Okay, so I'm aging myself here. Actually, I'm not aging myself. Someone's doing that to me.
3 But Carson was SO amazingly good and so amusingly classy that people almost took the guy for granted. Jay Leno was a decent replacement, but there was only one Johnny, the same way there was only one Willie Mays, one Joe Montana, one Jerry Rice, and one Oprah.
4 I remember one year I was in Tahoe on a gorgeous afternoon at a friend's cabin on North Shore. This guy had brewed his own dark ale, and it was pretty strong. He offered it to each of his guests. I found it a bit "robust" when I tasted it, but decided I'd have a glass anyway, just to be polite.
5 One glass.
6 It was cold and frothy, served in a chilled glass, and went down beautifully on an afternoon frought with dappled forest shadows and summer alpine surroundings. Oprah played on the teevee, and I couldn't figure out for the life of me why anyone would be watching teevee when they could be enjoying a splendid afternoon outside, breathing in the surrounding forest.
7 So I took my beer, walked outside, went down some wooden stairs and ambled around, looking up at the blue sky. People inside laughed and chatted. I sipped the frosty beer, enjoying the slightly bitter taste of the hops, and the clear,crisp flavor of a near perfect concoction.
8 After a few minutes, I became a bit wobbly and thought I might find my way back inside.
9 I started up the wooden steps, which had suddenly become an escalator. I would walk right and the steps would drift left. I made it to the outside deck, righted myself once more, and stepped into the kitchen area. I noticed a bunch of people zeroed in on Oprah in the other room.
10 I can't really recall what Oprah's show was, but I walked over and became instantly riveted with her ability to engage and draw me in. Thank goodness, because midway through her show, the host came up to me and asked if I would like another beer.
11 Looking down, I noticed my glass had dry crystals of my beer clinging to the side. Evidently I had been holding onto the glass, and to Oprah for dear life.
12 I thought the guy to be out of his mind. Had he slipped me a mickey? I said, "Uh, no thanksh, man. Thish ish jush fine. I""mmowkay. I'm jush fine!" I then took a step backwards, then forward, then righted myself like the soldier I am.
13 To this day I think that was the strongest and strangest brew I ever encountered, and to this day I thank Oprah for keeping me from dancing a hula on the kitchen table.
14 From that day forward I knew that any time the Oprah Winfrey show would be on, it would be an engaging time. I thank Oprah for stopping me from calling a priest and demanding extreme unction. I also realized how truly mesmerizing she can be.
15 Over the years I watched Oprah sort of the same way I use a lava lamp. Every now and again I tune in and see what swirls.
16 So I begin my final DN of the 2010-11 school year with a humble salute to the former Senior Class President and megastar, the goodly riveting Oprah Winfrey.
17 You will be missed, but it's nice knowing you stepped down at the top of your game, girl.
18 Moving on, Part the First: I didn't see Buster Posey's injury happen last night, but I listened to Dave Fleming's call on KNBR. I didn't want to look. I didn't want even to think about it. The Merc News had a picture of the exact second, and Posey's ankle turned in what I can describe only as a macabre angle. I cringe just thinking about it, and I hope it isn't a career-ending sitch.
19 All I thought about this morning was Mike Krukow's story about how after one of the Philadelphia playoff games, the Giants stayed up pretty late partying, and how Kruk found himself suddenly in an elevator with Posey. It was pretty late, and Krukow said, "You know, it isn't always going to be like this." Posey looked up a little confused and said, "Why not?"
20 At the time I thought it was such a sincere and innocent inquiry, and is all the difference between a rookie-of the year and a seasoned veteran. Kruk just smiled, and related that poignant moment of naiveté to his listeners the next morning.
21 Anyway, I just think Buster Posey is a young version of the Carsons and the Oprahs and the others in this world who exude poise and class. I sure hope the guy is okay, because he has played with a lot of guts and pain this year, and never gives less than his all.
22 I'll gladly throw some particles his way.
23 Moving on, Part the Second: Well, the last day of school went perfectly yesterday. Instead of making my support students do presentations that they had reluctantly been working on (or not) last week, I decided to show them Michael Hoffman's 1999 version of A Midsummer Night's Dream.
24 I sat next to a microphone and added little tidbits, and had played Mendelssohn's Midsummer many times during the year when they would be doing desk work. So as ithe film rolled, I did small narrations, the same way director's do on DVD's. I think it helped keep them focused. I told them that Mendelssohn composed a musical piece called A Midsummer Night's Dream, and that I had used the same music in our own production in 1995.
25 They didn't pay much attention until Lysander and Hermia got sleepy in the forest.
26 From there, it took off. I explained that Hermia wanted them to sleep apart in the forest, and that Lysander didn't. I also explained that by separating the two, Lysander could disappear after magically falling in love with Helena.
27 At one point, one of my students asked if I could put it on subtitles.
28
29 There's a moment, if you think about it. They enjoyed the Pyramis and Thisbe scene, and as it got closer to the end of the class, I told them that I was honored to have been their teacher, and that in the end, we all bonded as a class.
30 I told them I loved their poetry, and that they have hearts as large all outdoors.
31 They loved it, said some sweet goodbyes, and left me standing alone with Puck's final speech.
32 "If we shadows have offended..."
33 I smiled, knowing that they learned more yesterday than they ever would have if I had lain the ruler down and insisted that they do presentations.
34 After school I saw the student who asked me to put on the captions. He saw me too, broke from his friend, ran up to me, shook my hand, and said,"Thank you for being a great teacher. Thank you for telling us all those stories. Thank you for everything man!" And he gave me huge smile and a big hug.
35 It isn't the years. It's the moments.
36 I became so inspired that I went back to my classroom, finished all my work, stayed until past seven, and finally headed home. I was the last guy standing in the parking lot last night.
37 On my way out, I looked at the ground. The early evening sun caused shadows to slant at long angles. It was great, because I had put two small amps, my guitar, a mic stand, and a guitar stand on a dolly, along with one of my two favorite hats. I had the other hat on my head, so I looked like a cross between Indiana Jones and Dick Tracy. The shadow added a trace of Bogart, so I had to take a picture. I must have looked ridiculous:
38 Haha, last guy standing. Here's the parking lot a minute later. Notice how many teachers' cars were still there:
39 But I finished.
40 I just need to go up and clean the coop today. That's pretty easy. Everything else is done, including this year's DN's. All of it is done.
41 All of the grading, all of the insanity, all that you fashion, all that you make, all that you build, all that you break, all that you measure, all that you feel, all that you can leave behind...
42 I'll miss you.
43 The rest is silence.
44 Peace.
~H~
finis.
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