May 17, 2011
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1 I NEVER write about dreams, nor talk about them much really.
2 In fact, whenever I hear someone say, "I had a dream last night," I always think of Mercutio's line, that "...dreamers often lie."
3 But it woke me up. In the dream I was clearly downtown at the Center for the Performing Arts, some huge awards show of some sort. I remember seeing many luminaries in the San Jose theatre community, but the only one I recognized was Diana Schuster, who was a thunderously talented director there for years.
4 I was alone, but enjoying people watching. I was wearing my black bathrobe, a black pocket tee, and light blue flannel pajama shorts. As always, I felt invisible, so I didn't really think anybody was watching me.
5 But there was mingling, and some important guy in front announcing arriving names as they would come in.
6 But I had to use the rest room, and at one point got up to head there. As I reached the entrance to the place, some important luminary's name was announced at the exact moment I hit the doorway. I had heard a bit of a buzz, and then enormous laughter.
7 Obviously they had been expecting some important luminary, and here was a guy in a black robe. My legs showed that I was in a pajama shorts and a black pocket tee, so I sort of waved and walked off like a king. A huge laugh, and slight applause as I headed down a hallway. They then announced whoever the big luminary was, and there was great applause.
8 As I headed into the bathroom, I heard a sort of "Whisper, whisper, whisper" and then heard, "Mr. Bud Harrington, ladies and gentlemen!" And then I heard laughter and applause.
9 I smiled, but still had to go. When I looked up, the bathroom was mixed with both men and women. The women stood in bejeweled clothing in line at the urinal's, some of which were trough style, as in a stadium. Nobody thought anything of anything, which made me laugh, because 'twas ever thus in theatre.
10 Even when I ran the Theatre at YB, girls routinely went in the boys' rest room, and boys in the girls'. For whatever reason, there never seemed to be rules in that area. I laughed to see that it worked on a professional level as well.
11 I also remember right before I awakened that enough people in the San Jose theatre community had heard of me that I received applause. I've no idea what it was I ever contributed, but it was nice, in an odd sort of way.
12 Oh, I served on a youth outreach committee of some sort for a few years, and stunned the executive staff one year when they wanted educators to come up with some sort of rating system for plays, the same as they have with movies: G, PG-13, that sort of thing. They were WAY serious about this, and I spoke up.
13 This part is not a dream. This actually happened. I raised my hand and spoke quite eloquently about how as a kid, I would be taken by hand by my Mom to the grand San Francisco theatres, The Curran, The Orpheum, and the Golden Gate. I told them that those theatres blew away all other theatres in the Bay Area, including what was at the time the Civic Light Opera, or CLO.
14 I told them that what attracted me to the theatre originally was how cutting edge and how bold it was with language, with topics, with political edge, and with macabre portraits of our silky view of life. To me, putting ratings on plays was an insult to some one of the greatest arts around. It would be like rating art museums, or world art. My world wasn't the world of popcorn and movies, although I enjoyed and continue to enjoy film.
15 But watching the world actually talking about rating plays seemed abhorrent to me, and does to this day.
16 Did you ever speak in front of people, and for whatever reason, your words just hit on all cylinders? That day, right in the midst of my anti-censorship talk, Diana Schuster put both elbows on the table and gestured with palms up, a sort of, "Gimme, gimme!" finger movement, as though she had fought this battle for years, and that it had kept landing on deaf ears. I was a fresh voice, almost telling the emperors the proper means of covering up.
17 I was young, and being genuine in my thoughts, and my thoughts were that theatre should never be rated. Period. It loses the essence of theatre and gives power into the hands of the feeble-minded. The idea was that CLO/AMTSJ was moving to the masses, receiving more grants, but also reaching a more mainstream audience.
18 Since a more mainstream audience meant children might attend, they wanted some sort of parental-guidance attachment to theatre.
19 So I understood where they were headed, but it still drove me crazy to think that art should change its display because of people who perhaps don't understand the unbridled power of the theatre, nor the nature of theatre in general.,
20 Theatre is a powerful force when it speaks of real issues. It has caused strikes, and changes in thought. Even Wicked brought some very real political issues despite its mainstream appeal. There were no warning labels put on Wicked. Can you imagine?
21 Wicked: Rated PT. Political Thought. May be unsuitable for small children or for people with half a brain.
22 I do recall Diana Schuster looking to me as the innocent voice of reason at a time when reason was quickly leaving all walks of life. I didn't realize it at the time, but after that meeting, there was no longer talk of rating systems on plays in our town.
23 I have no idea if my little speech spoke that powerfully. I can't even lay claim to this. But I do know that they were already convinced it needed to be done, and the only discussion was what to call each rating.
24 After that meeting, all talk of rating professional plays dissipated.
25 To this day I have no idea if my input caused that. I do remember that I was clearly incensed that anybody would consider putting moral ratings on any sort of art.
26 So that dream I had was sort of interesting in that regard.
27 I never in my life was comfortable with being recognized for things. I just always figured that people who do get recognized for things often get recognized for speaking logically.
28 Since the world is an illogical place, logic often warrants applause and recognition when brought to the front.
29 To me, it's like getting applause for saying something like, "We really should think about others first, then ourselves."
30 <thunderous applause>
31 And I always consider what a dunderhead I am, and what a hypocrite, so I seldom think I deserve any sort of praise. My Dad deserves praise. My Mom deserves praise. But myself? Not in this life, not in the next. I wish I could be half the man my Dad is. I'm not even in his league.
32 So I have no idea what the dream meant. I never considered that anything I have accomplished is any better than anything any other schmuck has accomplished. It was a strange moment indeed to hear my name on a microphone, followed by applause.
33 I guess like most people, I feel that I'm pretty much a sham.
34 It's all I can do to stumble through each day without pissing somebody off.
35 Very strange.
36 Well, I guess that's my rant for the morning. I had no idea where this was headed when I awakened yesterday and began writing it. We're always told to write down our dreams, but to be honest, I don't think I dream that often. Most days I wake up and stuble through the day just enough to make it back to a pillow at night.
37 That's about it. And do the best I can to do the right things, I imagine.
38 Anyway, I may never pay attention to a dream again. Seems pretty pointless to me. I'm sure there's something in all of that, but really? No idea.
39 Moving on, Part the First: On a normal note, I passed all health tests yesterday when I visited the doc. My blood pressure had receded remarkably and was pretty normal. No real signs of anything critical, and I even looked pretty cancer free, at least for now. The doctor said I was in really good health and praised me on my diet and exercise regimen.
40 It was great to hear, and made for a rather enjoyable evening.
41 So that's about it for today. Weird dreams and good health I guess.
42 See you again.
43 Peace.
~H~
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