The Daily News

1   We’re baaaaaaack!!!

2   Muhahahahahahahahaha!!!

3   Sokay, let’s start right in with baseball.

4   I totally goofed on this player from the Washington Nationals on Saturday. I was working in the other room but could hear the game. It sounded like Kruk and Kuip kept saying that the pitcher’s name was “John Lennon”. It was actually John Lannan, but close enough that each time he would say it I would picture a guy with round glasses, a beret, and a flower on the lapel of his uniform working magic on the mound.

5   Imagine my disappointment.

John Lannan, pitcher, Washington Nationals

5   Sorry bro. We got Lincecum. You ain’t neither. You look like a guy who was caught on camera picking his nose.

6    I should never have peeked at the teeveee. The audio imagery struck me as poetic, and the words of Kruk and Kuip exquisite, as always.

7    This guy was a buzzkill.

8    Moving on, Part the First: So…Osama Bin Laden walks into a bar. First-class hit, boyz.

9    We no longer have to fear the beard.

10   I imagine this is a huge celebration for all military families, for America, and for the world, and yup, even for the morons. This guy has NO idea he is now safe and free to roam the country:

11   I told sommeone Bin Laden was dead, and honestly, I didn’t know this, but according to this guy, Bin Laden has been dead and frozen since 2002.

12  

 

13   Who knew? Either way, good news. Weird news, but good news.

14   That’s all I have to say about Osama Bin Laden. The less said about that guy the better.

15    So that’s it fella. I refuse to even post your picture. You’re scum. Enjoy the worms.

16   Moving on, Part the Second:  Giants’ speedster Darren Ford got his first major-league hit on Saturday, prompting Giants’ announcers Mike Krukow and Duane Kuiper to bring up a discussion about whether or not Ford is the first guy in baseball history to get his first base-hit AFTER receiving a World Series ring.

17   Pretty fun stuff.

18   Moving on, Part the Second: You’re a Sharks’ fan, AND a Bin Laden hater, then you have my permission to raise TWO glasses.

19   The Sharks still scare me, especially when they “let down” in the second period. Dudes. You CAN’T  let down. This is IT man.  Step it up. Grow BIG. That’s what the Giants’ did, and they are your template. Time to strike huge. We love you man!

20   No, no, no not THIS year’s Giants, who couldn’t hit the water if they fell out of a boat. LAST year’s Giants, who grew a few pair and hit with confidence and power in the end.

21   Uh…wha hoppen?

22   It’s okay; they’ll come around I’m quite sure.

23    Meanwhile, I have to think a LOT of people are starting to watch the Sharks right now. They’re getting phantom work from all sorts of areas. It’s truly refreshing.

24    Moving on, Part the Thoid: A week off has advantages and disadvantages. The advantages were that I had time to go to the doctor’s and schedule all sorts of check-ups and things that I normally have no time for.

26    Ah, excuses.

27    But really, it’s difficult to take time off teaching if you are dedicated. I like to be with my students as often as possible so they have a sense of consistency and comfort.

28    Grading has slowed down a bit due to the super flexing I did on that one in February. But I still am Type A when it comes to work. All good except for one thing.

29    On Tuesday I went in to have a lump removed from my shoulder area, which they did pretty easily, but when they took my blood pressure, it was off the charts. I really didn’t see that one coming. I was more worried about complications and all that, but I had handled that one correctly, keeping it warm and clean and all.

30   I instantly read everything I needed to read about hypertension. I removed salt from my diet, and instantly began a diet they call DASH–that without doctor’s orders! I also walked eight miles in four days, not much for your normal gym dude, but an hour a walk, and then some treadmill work and I was feeling ready to accept the challenge.

31   It’s been remarkably easy, actually. And yeah, I’m drinking eight glasses of water a day, even though that’s basically an urban myth that everyone should. Urban myth, urban schmyth, hey, works.

32   So I’m ready, feel astoundedly fit and ready for my return.

33   Seriously.

34   Nah, come ON, seriously.

35   Gottago.

36   Fly low. Enjoy a great Monday.

37   Peace.

~H~

www.xanga.com/bharrington

 

 

 

 

                                                                               

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

Please Help.

The Salvation Army is about bringing comfort to people when they need it the most,” said Kevin Smith, the emergency disaster director for The Salvation Army of Florida.

Salvation Army disaster response teams have been deployed to 30 communities across six southern states. As of this morning, nearly 300 people have been killed and many more have been injured. It is the deadliest tornado outbreak in nearly four decades.

The Salvation Army is asking for donations. Donors may give by texting GIVE to 80888, calling 1-800-725-2769 or logging on to www.salvationarmyusa.org.

Checks should be made out to The Salvation Army Disaster Relief, P.O. Box 100339, Atlanta, Ga. 30384-0339.

Hundreds of thousands are without electricity.

The Salvation Army is about bringing comfort to people when they need it the most,” said Kevin Smith, the emergency disaster director for The Salvation Army of Florida.

Salvation Army disaster response teams have been deployed to 30 communities across six southern states. As of this morning, nearly 300 people have been killed and many more have been injured. It is the deadliest tornado outbreak in nearly four decades.

The Salvation Army is asking for donations. Donors may give by texting GIVE to 80888, calling 1-800-725-2769 or logging on to www.salvationarmyusa.org.

Checks should be made out to The Salvation Army Disaster Relief, P.O. Box 100339, Atlanta, Ga. 30384-0339.

Hundreds of thousands are without electricity.

Please donate.

 

 

 

The Daily News

1   Ah, Sharks!

2   You finally decided to let an inferior team know they are inferior.

3   No torture.

4   You just went in and kicked it into gear (AFTER the five-on-three debacle).

5   A word of advice: continue to do so.

6   I actually got a little sleep last night for once.

7    Thanks boyz.

8    Seesly.

9    I’d love to pick on LA right now, but they’re stuck with the Dodgers.

10   Meanwhile, let us root, root root for the home teams.

11   And Sharks, do you think you could do it for once?

12   A whole bunch of us sure hope so.

13   Moving on, Part One: Wow. I blinked and it’s Spring Break already.

14    Some student told another, “After this, we have just three weeks left!”

15    I immediately saw that as two weeks and finals.

16    Survivor.

17    The irony is that I LOVE the last few weeks of school, because I have my favorite lessons all saved up.

18    A part of me actually wants to go into June, because it’s always been that way.

19    June is Taming of the Shrew, and traditional graduation.

20    And traditionally at EV, I play Shrew in the school’s enormously wonderful theatre, on a big screen, all of which is reserved exclusively for my students.

21    But this year the LCD projector is getting repaired, so playing it through the system isn’t happening. A LOT of things weren’t happening this year because of budget cuts and all.

22   I must admit, THAT was a lark. Our theatre is so nice, and has had an LCD projector hooked into a professional sound system. Ever since I got there I was able to get my class a personal showing of Zeffirelli’s Taming of the Shrew in the school’s theatre.

23   Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. Classic. I have shown that film the last days of school since I began teaching, and it still is an exclamation point to every teaching year.

24   To me it symbolizes the triumph of learning over idiocy.

25    But the LCD projector is down.

26    I could easily show it in my classroom like I used to, but as I grow wiser in this profession, I want only the best for my students EVERY day rather than once every couple of weeks.

27   Yesterday, for example, was a day I would have let go. I had them writing poetry in a sort of structured way. Nothing big, but yesterday I added Miles Davis music, which changed the entire atmosphere to retro ’50′s coffee house cool.

28   I wrote on the board: Musical Artist: Miles Davis.

29   While they wrote, they listened to So What with Miles Davis and John Coltrane.

30   At the end of the period, I erased Miles’ name and wrote “Taylor Swift”!

31   Without blinking, I put on a mini-mix of Swiftian songs. I mixed the segue seamlessly, like a good DJ at a wedding.

32   They looked up, all ears and braces, and saw that I had recognized their own generation as having “artists”.

33    Great fun at the end of the period.

34    This time of the year drives teachers insane, because the kids are pretty much checked out. This happens every year at every school.

35    We have tested them and standardized them so much that there is a bit of rebellion in them. Some teachers take it personally, and go insane, often dishing out more work, almost like they are fighting a war.

36   I slightly fell into that yesterday, but after two periods of what felt like disrespect and zaniness, I realized that ’twas ever thus.

37   I changed my attitude, switched up my approach, and had pure success the last three periods.

38   This time of the year is about fun projects and frivolity. The students are usually all over the place right about now, and I have known this for years.

39   Thankfully the weather has kept them grounded, because if it were summer weather, we’d have NO chance but to bring cast iron frying pans to work.

40   So three weeks.

41   Honestly.

42    Not enough time. My mind, my body, and my spirit are used to more time when we hit April. It has forgotten that we started school in August, and wants things normal again.

43    Okay it’s late, or early, so I’d better  get on my horse.

44    We’re on a minimum, and then…

45     I’m outta here for Spring Break!

46     See ya later.

47     Peace.

~H~

www.xanga.com/bharrington

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

    The Daily News

1   This came in the mail the other day. It’s from my daughter Nicole:

Another Absolute Truth: When trying to avoid walking into a person, you’ll walk into a pole.

2   Absolutely.

3   Hilarious.

4   Her classroom got vandalized yesterday. A day or two before, someone sprayed a bad word on the wall outside her room.

5   G-r-r-r-r-r.

6   It’s tough enough on new teachers these days, almost impossible. She works REALLY hard and carries a ton of passion. She’s a good teacher, and her students really do like her. She doesnt’ deserve that. She deserves chocolate chip cookies and cupcakes.

7   Love you Coley and I’m sorry to hear that some idiots did that.

8   I catch them I’ll beat ‘em down.

9   I swear.

10  Anyway love you.

11  Moving on, Part the First: So Papa Bud Selig, the worst commisioner in the history of baseball, has announced that the storied Los Angeles Dodgers are going to be controlled by Major League Baseball.

12  Sad, sad, sad time for Dodger fans.

13  You would think a Giants’ fan would be happy to see this, but it really is a mess in SoCal. I have always loved the rivalry, and have always vehemently rooted against the Dodgers, but in this instance, I feel sorry for anyone who is a Dodger fan.

14  And when I looked into the story, I saw an ugly divorce and messy finances.

15  It’s a train wreck, and it is only going to get worse.

16  I’ll sort of stay on that story, but it really is horrid to watch.

17  Moving on, Part the Second: Another Absolute Truth: If you get to sleep early and plan things really well, and cover all bases, something can still pull the rug right out from underneath you.

18   I stayed after work yesterday, ran off my lessons, got home, ate healthily, got to sleep early so I could awaken at around 2 or 3 a.m. so that I could knock off the DN while refreshed and then drop off for two more hours of sleep.

19  <basketball buzzer>

20   Nope.

21   Server went down.

22   I awakened at 3 and found that out. I stayed awake for around an hour hoping it would fix, but nupe.

23  So I had to do a bit of a rush job this morning.

24  But no matter what, in this sprinkly weather I refuse to rush to work.

25  There were knuckleheads all over the road yesterday morning. I got on the freeway and felt like I was being chased by Darth Vader.

26   These guys flew in and out of lanes sans signals, sans manners, and sans right-side upedness.

27   I already have to put on my helmet and gloves and bravely take to the freeway.

28   Rush job today.

29   All apologies.

30   I’m out the door.

31   Peace.

~H~

www.xanga.com/barrington

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SHARRRRRKS!!!

The Daily News

1  SHARKS!!! Ya tryin’ to KILL us?

2   Am I allowed to say it?

3   Torture!

4   Just an INCREDIBLE game.

5    So…you don’t dig four-zip holes anymore?

6    K?

7    I swear it’s like trying to teach a stubbornly moronic kid.

8    Still, we’ll take it, especially when scoring came from everywhere. Crazy, amazing victory. Pure madness, and EPIC!

9    I hope the Sharks take this deep into the playoffs like another Bay Area team did last year.

10  This was monumental.

11   At least I hope.

12   Let’s just love it for what it is.

13   Bad craziness.

14   I gotta give up sports, man.

15   Seriously.

16   Moving on. Part the First:  Is somebody joking?

17   Donald Trump for President?

18   When I wasn’t looking?

19   I’d rather have Donald Duck.

20   First off, Trump is an ass.

21   Second, his voice irritates.

22   Third, he would out-distance George Washington for worst hairdo in Presidential history.

23   That popped up on MSN or AOL or something the other day and I just laughed.

24   Honestly, I can’t really LOOK at the guy for more than three seconds.

25   There are certain “celebs” who do that to me.

26    Besides, that critter gives me the heebz.

27   Him running seriously for President is downright frightening.

28   Millionaire egomaniac with obvious issues.

29   Welp, it wouldn’t be the first time.

30    I was goofing the other day on this thought: ANYONE who wants to be President of the United States has to have issues way deeper than the worst of us.

31    But Trump?

32    Are ya kiddin’ me?

33    Just scary.

34   Moving on, Part the Second: Most interesting Pitch of the Month Besides Lincecum’s Change-up: Denny’s All Things Bacon.

35   What a dirty trick to pull on a healthy America.

36    I have a confession to make.

37    I LOVE bacon.

38    I have just alienated every healthy person on the planet.

39    And anyone who loves pigs.

40    Honestly.

41    On the other hand, the commercials sound so tempting.

42    I’d never make it as a vegan anyway. I’ve tried.

43    I inevitably cave.

44    Anyway, I don’t know if I can honestly lay off that pitch.

45    I should boycott Denny’s for that promo.

46    <sigh>

47    Nothing like self-loathing at 5 a.m.

48    Maybe I could sneak out and have myself some breakfast.

49    <basketball buzzer>

50    I’d be much better off going back to sleep, awakening in an hour, having some oatmeal and honey, and then heading off to do whatever it is I do.

51    So g’night everybody.

52    And good morning.

53    Way to go Sharks. Thanks for a classic.

54    Peace.

~H~

www.xanga.com/bharrington

 

            what what bitches?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Banned Books

The Daily News

1   I craned my neck to look at a poster in our library yesterday.

2   It had a poster inside with a list of banned books. I was in a bit of a hurry because I stayed late getting papers graded and lessons planned, so I was unable to get a really clear look, but the poster had at least a hundred famous books listed.

3   I may go back there today to get a list.

4   I just wanted to see if Farenheit 451 made the list. Of course it did. This is America.

5    I’m quite sure that it will be a shocking (or not shocking) list. I have to think the most incredible book to be banned is the dictionary, both Am Heritage and Merriam’s.

6    I began looking into book banning and found it a monumental task to get a good, comprehensive list.

7    At around 3 a.m. I thought of book banning as an interesting topic to bring to the fore.

8    It was sort of like looking at pictures of mountains I would like to hike this summer.

9    In the long run, I’ll just realize I’m not quite up to taking on a task as huge as book banning and attempting to make that climb.

10   Just a cursory look will bring a lot of questions to the forefront.

11    I did come across the Huff Post’s list of the top 11 most surprising banned books.

12    It begins with the dictionaries and goes south from there.

13    So here are the Huff Post’s top eleven:

The Dictionary

The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck

Sylvester and the Magic Pebble by William Steig

 Beloved AND The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison. Both won Nobel Prizes.

Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? by Bill Martin, Jr. and Eric Carle

James and the Giant Peach AND The Witches by Roald Dahl

Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl (with an intro by Eleanor Roosevelt)

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

For Whom the Bell Tolls AND A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway

A Light in the Attic: Poems and Drawings by Shel Silverstein

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle

14   I decided when posting this that I will simply list some books that are banned. If you wish to visit the Huff Post’s article, here is the link:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/29/the-11-most-surprising-ba_n_515381.html#s76400&title=The_Dictionary

15   I would love to comment on each of these, but I have neither the time nor the inclination.

16   Always an interesting topic. I wonder if Snookie’s book has been banned?

17   AnywayZ, I thought I’d simply like to share a sampling of what goes on across this Great Land of Ours on a daily basis.

18   I’d love to say it’s a non-issue, but it is clearly worth noting.

19   Because ultimately, who decides these things? What are the criteria? I’m seldom sure. Some things we could understand as perhaps “inappropriate” for small children.

20    But the larger issue is that of censoring thought.

21    So no, I don’t think it’s a non-issue.

22    I just think it is something that strikes me about twice a year, especially when I read about true things that enormously powerful people we all know and love have done to wreak havoc on our economy, or on our troops, or on our schools, or on our nation.

23   Anyway, it isn’t an issue I intend to labor over at 4 a.m. I have bigger fish to fry.

24    It was just a moment in my day yesterday. I had to look through bars to see the poster in the library, and had one of those moments.

25    What is happening in our schools is downright frightening.

26    The fact that librarians won’t be in libraries enough to fight this stuff is pretty scary. Our librarian is back in the classroom, and is clearly overworked. But she is there most every day working in the back after school. It’s heroic to me.

27   I remember when I was doing activities and had to set up a district/student meeting in our library. It was to begin at 4 p.m. Right before the meeting somebody told me that the lights in the library didn’t work.

28   I stood absolutely stunned. We have a pretty high-tech school, so a lot of things are run by computers: lighting, heating, air-conditioning, etc. A gal from the District who shall remain unnamed here kept looking at ME as though it were my fault.

29   I guess it was because I wore a tie and carried a walkie. She was outraged, and kept sniping at me. I was about to say, “Hey, I just bought you a sandwich!” I had NO idea the lights in our library didn’t work.

30   And to be honest, I don’t know if they do to this minute. It has huge windows and gets lots of daylight, but I don’t even recall seeing lights that worked in there, ever.

31   I’m worried about banned books and it turns out that after 5 p.m. you can’t even see the poster.

32   Ah, vell.

33   You get what you pay for.

34   And sadly, it’s looking as though it is all going to be at such a cost.

35   At such a cost. At what cost?

36   Gottago.

37   Peace.

~H~

www.xanga.com/bharrington

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

      

The Daily News

1  I am thoroughly convinced that a UFO kidnapped the Giants and the Sharks this weekend and replaced them with the Keystone Cops.

2   The A’s somehow managed a gem by Trevor Cahill, which their own website deemed “uneventful”. Huh? Nine strikeouts?

3   I didn’t realize how much Bay Area sports dominate my moods untiI I saw about three Facebook posts in which people asked, “Where’d my weekend go?”

4   Once I see two, I automatically make it three, because I felt the same exact way.

5    The conspiracy guy in me assumed the only explanation for the play of both the Giants and the Sharks was Saucers.

6    I sat around all yesterday wondering what to do. I got into a sort of funk, because most of what I have to do is going to happen this week and the following Spring Break.

7    But I did go into a bit of a tailspin, especially when I turned the Sharks’ game on a little late, only to find they were already down by two. But that’s because UFO’s kidnapped the real Sharks. No question about it.

8    It’s the only explanation.

9    Argh.

10   And yesterday I thought to myself, “It’s okay. At least we still have the Giants!”

11  

12   After having watched Zito fall on his ass the other night, and Mota somehow managing to keep the team together, I felt a little better yesterday. Then I saw Madison Bumgarner give up around six thousand hits, and the Giants bumble about eight thousand plays, and I had to begin to wonder. Zito’s injury is a mid-foot sprain, which I’m told happens only to football players and ballerinas.

13   The reality of the Giants is beginning to hit me. They peaked last year at the exact right time, but really? What I have seen so far this year is a .500 team at best, and a whole bunch of them with the dropsies. Darren Ford, arguably the fastest guy on the planet not on steroids, couldn’t beat out a simple bunt yesterday.

14   And they’re barely scraping by with Aaron Rowand hitting in the mid 300′s. Yeah, like THAT’S going to continue. Brandon Belt clearly shouldn’t be up, and I’m wondering about Madison Bumgarner too. Zito is out, which we managed last year, and Tejada looks like an old guy with a load in his pants. Andres Torres is in worse shape than anyone is letting on. And Boch, it’s time for a come-ta-JAYzuss with every one of ‘em. You can’t be giving games to the worst team in the worst division in baseball. It just makes last year look like a fluke. I don’t think it was, but yeesh!

15   And the Sharks. Oy.

16   I’m hoping that one game was an anomaly. Even the Giants last year had a game or two in the playoffs that brought us back to their mid-season torture. Happens. But Sharks. Every single year?

17   With the Sharks, it’s critical mass time. They have a goalie. They need to realize that they are the Sharks, and somehow in the playoffs. I’m thinking the other night was just a brain drain. You can’t skate with a hangover. That’s what it looked like, I swear.

18   So I figure this. UFO’s and Keystone Cops had little to do with my weird weekend. Getting behind two teams who looked horrific did have a little to do with it.

19   Usually it is the weekends when I attempt to re-group. Right now I’m actually looking forward to going back to work. I’m pretty fortunate that I not only like my job, but that it remains my passion to this very minute.

20   And it’s a LOT more entertaining than watching teams that should be WAY better not losing games like that. With the Sharks, I think it was just one game. They get away from you every once in a while.

21   With the Giants, it is clear that they got a bit too full of themselves, and that they probably danced through Spring training on cockiness and celebrity. It’s time for that team to begin concentrating on details. There have been WAY too many bobbled balls for it to be a coincidence. Someone sloughed off during pre-season, and I think it’s a WHOLE bunch of them.

22   You can’t do that and remain on top, especially when every team in baseball is gunning for you.

23   They should maintain the swagger; it’s not altogether a bad thing.

24   But they had better step up the concentration, especially defensively.

25   Their recently storied pitching staff has enormous gaps right now. Bumgarner and Zito are almost out of it.

26    It’s too early to tell, but right now we’re looking at .500 if somebody doesn’t step up. And it can’t be Aaron Rowand, because he’s going through what probably will be his only streak of the season.

27   Ah, as I said, it’s early.

28   In fact, it’s 4:30 a.m.

29   I’m gonna go in today ready and detailed, and be on my game.

30   I’d be interested in seeing younger guys stepping up like that.

31   Need a little sleep.

32   See you. It’s Monday. Fly low, but maintain your game.

33   And keep your eyes peeled for UFO’s and Saucers.

34   Peace. 

~H~

www.xanga.com/bharrington

 

 

 

 

 

  SHARKS!!!

  

The Daily News

1  Ya gotta love the San Jose Sharks.

2   I almost went into a coma last night, and then they WON! Curse missed opportunities, but they WON! They Beat LA!!!

3   GREAT game, and I’d be surprised if my neighbors didn’t call the police. I whooped it up, because if you watched, you just couldn’t help it.

4   Hockey is nerve-wracking, man.

5    It’s just fun having our own professional sports team.

6    Don’t get me wrong. I’m still a huge fan of my Giants, who were my team from birth.

7    But there’s just something about knowing you could almost walk downtown in Sanjo and be right in the thick of things.

8   And things keep getting thicker.

9   That game was off the hook. Sorry LA fans, but you came into our town, and you got spanked.

10   Fun stuff, and more to come.

11   Maybe much more.

12   Stay tuned.

13   Moving on, Part One: I’ve taken to doing some heavy drinking lately. The trouble is, I can’t decide which drink to have. Chocolate milk? Or ice cold orange juice?

14   Not a bad thing, really, unless it is 3 a.m. and your cat, whose voice has suddenly become that of a Boeing 757, starts his nightly LOUD rant.

15   Last night I stayed up a bit late enjoying the post Sharks game, so on little sleep, I found myself bleary-eyed, and shouting at my cat Todd, “I’m going to be famous tomorrow if you don’t shut up!”

16   Yeesh.

17    Pets.

18    I tellya.

19    Meanwhile, my other cat Cory has suddenly decided that I am his best friend in the world. I have no idea why, because I just abide pets. For whatever reason, they all love me, like I’m Circe or something.

20   Okay maybe not. But they KNOW they annoy me constantly, but they flock to me anyway. I guess I’m pretty lucky, but Cory has taken to hopping up on my chest every five minutes and purring all the time.

21   Which sounds great when you read about it.

22   But sometimes when Todd is in his quiet mode, which is about five minutes in a twenty-four hour period, Cory will shift. So after Todd goes off mee-OWING, I’ll drift back to sleep, only to find Cory has shifted in his sleep so that his ass is fluffed right in my face at around 3:30 a.m.

23   My natural instinct is to hurl him across the room, but I never do. He’s too old, and actually a good old fellow. But he does tend to torture me in quiet ways, like walking directly across my path when I walk down the hall, or standing right in doorways so he gets stepped on continually.

24   But the 3:30 surprise is only one in a series of continual pet things that enjoy waking me in the middle of my dreams.

25   Nothing like a cat’s ass to bring you back to reality.

26   Moving on, Part the Second: You gotta love naive freshmen. The other day one of my students asked me, “Does beer have alcohol in it?”

27  

28   I told him I didn’t know, because the only beer I drink is root beer.

29   Surprisingly, he bought it.

30   All I could think of was that guy’s first Spring Break.

31   I swear to you.

32   He’s one of my smartest students too.

33   Well, except for that.

34   Thank God that college is right around the corner, waiting to turn him into an idiot.

34   Moving on, Part the Second: Ah, the halcyon days of youth.

35   Glad they’re over.

36    I swear to you.

37    Moving on, Part the Thoid: Yesterday some ASB kid came into my room with a small box to help the victims of the Japanese earthquake.

38    I constantly give to every charity that comes down the pike, and try to get info out to the students. The recent earthquakes in Japan and Mexico needed me to get instant info to the students, many of whom have family or relatives in those areas.

39   It was good to see that damage was not as intense as the first big Japanese quake, but still.

40   The trouble was, I took the box and started to tell the students to give anything they had, but forgot which cause the box was for! I had to read the box swiftly, and then I passed it around.

41   I guess that’s a good thing. I give to causes all the time, so I hope I didn’t appear insensitive when I had to glance down to see which cause the box was for.

42   I told my students that if we reach a hundred dollars, that I would sing a song for them. And that if we reached five-hundred dollars, I’d stop singing.

43   I also offered out glass insurance.

44   The last time I offered that, I wound up learning six Sinatra tunes.

45    I’ve taken to karaoke when it comes to these things. Playing guitar live in front of my students makes me really nervous. I think it’s because I’m getting older, yet I’m still about a C- as a guitar minstrel.

46   There are kids at my school who have played guitar for six months and could blow me out of the water anyway. So I just play guitar at home now. I still love it, of course, but I don’t know about playing publicly anymore.

47   AnywayZ

48   Both cats have gone off somewhere, so this is probably a good time to wrap this stuff up. It’s now about 5 a.m. and I could use another hour of sleep.

49   Hopefully no more interruptions. Last night I dreamed I was at a Giants’ game eating a hot dog. I relished that dream.

50    I better duck out while the duckin’s good.

51    Peace.

~H~

www.xanga.com/bharrington

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

22   Dude.

23   It’s “anyway”. No “s” and especially no “z”.

24   Irregardless…

25   Dude.

26   It’s “regardless”.

27   But aren’t you suppose to…

28   Dude.

29   It’s “supposed” to…

30   Wow. Thanks alot.

31   Dude.

32   It’s “a lot”. Two words.

33   Wow. You should do this everyday.

34   It’s “every day” when you’re talking about each and every day. It’s only “everday” when it is describing something like prices.

35   Okay…

36   Three dots is wussy.

37   Okay.

38   English lesson.

39   Word.

40   I just “pimped” my page. Whose down?

41   Peace.

~H~

www.xanga.com/bharrington

 

        What What?