March 15, 2011
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The Daily News
1 Josh Rosa was published.
2 Who is Josh Rosa you ask?
3 He is my daughter Caitlin's fiancé.
4 Are ya serious?
5 Yes. Text messages flew back and forth last night and it turns out that Josh just published an e-book.
6 The info came in fast and furious last night, so details are sketchy at best.
7 But the guy DID it, ladieez and gents.
8 I've known him to be brilliant from simply knowing him, and I also know that he has talent beyond most of ours.
9 His piece is called Gutsy Opinions: How to Finally Beat the Politics of Us and Them.
10 His word about the work: "It's about the slow decay of democratic governance. Pick it up for a light, breezy read."
11 Tongue as always planted firmly in cheek.
12 Here's the link:
13 It costs $6.99 to purchase, and has five stars, whatevuh that means.
14 I read a hard copy of the first few chapters about a month ago and really enjoyed it.
15 I love shooting the breeze with Josh because he is pretty brilliant, AND ridiculously funny.
16 So good times, good times. I love those guys. Buy his book. Shameless plug.
17 Moving on, Part the First: I had my first taste of cowless milk yesterday. I've recently taken to having a glass of chocolate milk in the morning, no fat but something easy right before I embark on my journe.
18 But Save Mart didn't have any chocolate milk. They had this stuff called "Silk", which is a pretty lame slamming together of "soy" and "milk".
19 I thought it was sort of cool because my groceries were all pretty healthy things, which always makes me feel that I'm fooling everyone else in the store into thinking that I'm actually a really healthy guy.
20 I do that.
21 Like, if I'm getting all veggie stuff and salad makings, I put them on the treadmill thingy first, so that the clerk will assume I am a healthy sort of guy. So if I have cilantro, carrots, tomatoes, lettuce, orange juice and Silk, they look at me like I am Joe Health.
22 And yesterday the clerk was this guy who I would always see at all the Evergreen sporting events. He had a tie on that was our school colors, which are the Sharks' colors.
23 I had all this veggie stuff goin' by, and smiled huge when he put the Silk in the bag.
24 I thought to myself, "That's right, yo! I am Captain Health. Throw that into the Grapevine on the Hill."
25 I always wonder what grocery clerks think of their customers. I mean groceries usually must mean a lot of "regulars". When I was in merch, I couldn't stand my "regulars". They were often people with no lives who just wanted to hang out. Sorta geeky sorts. They would drive me crazy, but were always nice.
26 But they would never buy anything. They just figured I was their homie.
27 But grocery clerks know a LOT about their regulars. And I always wonder if they talk about what we buy. Like, "That guy buys vodka and crackers EVERY SINGLE DAY."
28 It's enough to make you fill your cart up with tons of health foods.
29 In a way it's good.
30 AND healthy.
31 Whenever I want to buy unhealthy stuff like pork rinds or Slim Jims, I go to the liquor store right next to Save Mart. That guy couldn't care less about my health.
32 When I get home, I could hit my own treadmill and then report to Facebook that I "hit the gym", which is my sunroom now.
33 Captain Joe Health.
34 Moving on, Part the Thoid: I hate that I have to wear reading glasses these days. Don't get me wrong; I'm glad I can still see. But when I give my tests and things, I am always wearing glasses the way librarians used to. They tend to slide to the tip of the nose, making one look ridiculously older.
35 I mean I AM ridiculously older than my students, but then I always felt that way, even when I was younger.
36 So anywayZ...yesterday I gave an oral exam to my brilliant students, but was able to take those hideous reading glasses off because I was simply dictating words. I could easily see one word, so it was nice.
37 Right in the middle of the test this girl said, "Mr. Harrington, you look different."
38 At first I was taken aback. I felt I looked as hideous as ever. Could it have gotten worse (not worst)?
39 I thought of what it was that was different, and came to the quick conclusion that it was the glasses.
40 I looked over at her group, all of whom awaited a response, put my glasses on and said, "Clark Kent." I took them off and said, "Superman."
41 I won that one. I'm a gunslinger. I knew they got the image because there is really no hiding my muscular frame and rugged good looks.
42
43 Hey hold up. Pie Day was yesterday.
44 I can see that this conversation is slowly headed south.
45 I'd better get while the gettin's good.
46 Have a great Tuesday, while they last. Between Josh and me, I'm sure we could exact legislation to eliminate Tuesday as a day of the week.
47 Meanwhile, have a great Tuesday.
48 It's almost 4:30 a.m. and WAY past my bedtime.
49 Have a lovely day.
50 Peace.
~H~
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