The Daily News
1 Yes, Stanford!!!
2 To all my Cal fans, I'm not trying to diss Cal; I spent many years working both stadiums. I rooted for Cal for YEARS.
3 But I loved Stanford last night. Harbaugh called it "the only game in the world."
4 With Harbaugh, and a little bit of Luck...it was a bit tacky of reporters asking him about his future during Stanford's celebration, and Luck's ascent to the greatest college quarterback in football.
5 The deal is, Stanford always produced for the Niner organization.
6 I am a believer in miracles.
7 So there.
8 Love ya Cal, I really do. Spent many days at Memorial Stadium making tons of money while enjoying the entire Bears' thing.
9 But the Niners need Stanford right now.
10 Buut for now, I have to line up with Harbaugh and Luck. Said it two months ago, sayin' it again.
11 Ah, whatevs.
12 Moving on, Part the First: I got a haircut yesterday afternoon.
13 I KNOW; I KNOW.
14 It's hard for a lot of people to believe that I even NEED a haircut, but yeah.
15 Buy yesterday ...AYE, ME!
16 For one thing, I had been awake since three a.m. the night before last. This is typical of any re-entry from a vacay.
17 I used to fight working during vacations, but realized that I was like a junke coming down from crack on Mondays when I would do that. It finally began to make sense to keep up on my work a couple of days before going back to work so that I would have the advantage of not going in too relaxed.
18 The other night, I had worked almost four straight days on lesson planning, grading, and preparation, but awakened at 3 a.m. yesterday anyway.
19 This SOUNDS worse than it is, because at 3 a.m. I usually have logged in around six hours of sleep. I had time to write the DN and to re-read the lesson I was going to give on Monday morning.
20 Usually, I can knock off the DN in around two hours, and sleep for another hour and change. So it normally works beautifully for me.
21 But Monday morning I couldn't get back to sleep. Just anxiety about returning to the classroom, and a little excitement.
22 It worked, because I went in totally animated and worked with some storytelling and vocab magic.
23 I have this Einsteinian theory about Monday re-entries after holidays: a normal hour is stretched another half-hour, relatively speaking. It's as simple as that. Days are longer and more unapolgizing, no matter how much one prepares.
24 It's true. I prepared better than most, worked harder than most, and still felt like a junkie. But I KNEW that I would, so the idea was to be like a quarterback on a broken play. Run out of the pocket, look for receivers, and if nobody is open, sprint!
25 My storytelling is metaphorically my sprint. I'm really good at it, always have been. When I need to run the clock, I can shorten a story or stretch one. I knew that yesterday was going to require almost an extra fifteen minutes per period, so I prepared, and ran with it.
26 Bottom line: by three p.m. yesterday, I had already been awake for twelve hours. I made it through the day, but felt unbelievably exhausted in the end.
27 I went in to the restroom to splash water on my face, and saw that I really needed a haircut. My hair had me looking like some intellectually mad author, but when I coupled it with no sleep, it was downright scary!
28 My plan was to get a haircut, work out on my tread, and then cook a low-cal dinner, then conk out to the Stanford/Virginia Tech game.
29 I decided to go to my same barber. Since I don't have a lot of hair, I don't get to the barber as often as possible, but I have this old-school barber that I always liked. He sold the joint and is now retired, but I still go there, because the new owners are clean and quick, but really good.
30 And with me, I don't do too much for vanity. It's just a ritual to avoid looking bad.
31 Well!
32 I walked in, and the kindest gal greeted me. This place was notoriously male, and was in fact run by Raiders' fans years ago. One time I went in on a Sunday morning, and had to come back because both barbers were crashed out in their chairs, and two 16-ounce Budweiser cans were on their coffee table. I tried waking them up, but to no avail. I decided to go for a ride into the hills and return later. It worked. They were up and shaking it all off. Did a dandy job.
33 So I went into the same shoppe yesterday, and this very gentle and kind Asian lady took me to her station. I usually greet people, and then daydream when getting a haircut.
34 I was tired to the point of almost hallucinating, which I have been doing lately. Not really hallucinating, just letting exhaustion create images.
35 Midway through the haircut, she started talking gently to me. "You from here?" "What is your name?" I said, "Bud, like the beer. Or the rose."
36 She was SO sweet. She repeated, "Buh?" I said, "Bud." She repeated, "Buh!" and then I started to spell it, and she repeated it the same time I spelled it: "B-U-D!" We laughed. She said, "My name...Maria." Totally charming.
37 She began talking about this and that, so I just relaxed and went with it, and then she asked me if I would like to have my hair washed. I wasn't in any hurry, because I had left school early. Fly low on Mondays I always say, right? I thought that a hair wash would cost more, but the thought of lying back while someone massaged my head with warm water and shampoo seemed indulgent enough for me to give a huge "Okay." Plus she was charming and nice.
38 I rarely "pamper" myself. Having been raised with all wimminz, I never quite understood why they would spend hours in a beauty salon. But yesterday was a re-entry day, and I had just met this charmingly gracious gal who took a meticulous amount of time cutting my hair, so I thought, "What the heck."
39 Oy.
40 Maria began tucking towels under my neck, and had a towel over my head so that I looked like Little Blue Riding Hood. I wanted to take a pic, but it would have frightened any children who might stumble upon the DN, so I decided against it.
41 After doing around five minutes of prep work, Maria took me to the washing station, which has a chair that you lie in and a sink that fits your head. I felt like an emperor. She said, "You lie your head here, and relax."
42 No argument there.
43 She then took warm water and some sort of foamy soap, and began massaging my head. I started to fall asleep. I closed my eyes and saw cherry blossoms and boats.
44 I was in no hurry to go anywhere, and for the first time in forever, I gave in to complete relaxation. All I kept thinking was, "No wonder the wimminz do this!" I went completely Zen, as she worked for almost fifteen minutes, warm water, massage, and sleep, cherry blossoms and delicate boats...
45 She finally finished, dried my head, and said, "We go back to my station now."
46
47 When I got their, she fluffed my hair and then brought out a warm hair dryer. I became Fred Astaire, dancing about in my own gracefully and dreamily across the floor.
48 I finally awakened. She held a mirror up.
49 If I hate anything in this world, it would be 1) having my picture taken, and 2) mirrors.
50 I looked in the mirror and couldn't believe what a good job she did. The hair was cut to perfection, and she had made me look as good as I could look, which is around a half-step down from the pooch in item 46. I should look so dapper!
51 Other than that, I absolutely loved the wonderful work Maria had done, and thanked her. She gave me her card, and we have a date every couple of Wednesdays.
52 All I thought about when I got out to the T000000NDRA was that I know have a groomer for Caitlin's wedding, which is this July. I want to look like Fred Astaire, and act with the grace of a guy who has spent the last six months working out, getting healthy, and living among cherry blossoms and gentle boats.
53 And who has pampered himself the same way that the wimminz do.
54 Lovely afternoon, lovely beginning to the wedding.
55 Go gently today, and enjoy all that is around you. And Cailtin, daddy will look like a prince on your wedding day!
56 Peace.
~H~
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