January 21, 2011
-
Are ya kiddin' me?
The Daily News1 It's FRIDEEEEEE!!!,
2 Just hard not to smile on a FRIDEEEEEE!
3 So last night I gave a watch to American Idol. Dude. Are ya kiddin' me?
4 My grade: C
5 The addition of Steven Tyler and J-Lo added nothing to the show, just made it a bit weirder. Some website I went to last night had a headline: Steven Tyler is the New Simon Cowell. Uh...no? Read on. Steven Tyler is a class-A jackass so far.
6 The improvement?
7 I guess fewer imebeciles that we see auditioning, but to me, that, along with Simon's acerbic meanness, is what made the earlier episodes. Tyler is going to have to do a lot more than act as though some chubby twelve-year old has the soul of Otis, or to show off his "abs" to J-Lo.
8 AnywayZ, I have suffered LOTS of pathetic auditions over the years, so it's easy from my perspective to judge fairly. So let's take a look.
9 Bottom line: the talent was there last night, but I stupidly took no notes, so I have no names to share. At this point, they're no-names anyway.
10 Not being a professional journalist, I just turned on the first show so that I had a lava lamp with sound as a backdrop to my dark thoughts.
11 But I assumed it was going to be a venture in fools and dreamers vs. true talent, as it does every year, but I found myself liking more of the auditions than I usually do.
12 In school, I'm a relatively good grader. With Idol, I've always been closer to Simon, only without all the venom.
13 Interestingly, when I first started watching American Idol, I found that performing arts' teachers LOVED the show.
14 Makes sense. Choir teachers cringe at voices that don't know how to be subtle and controlled, or that try to put "soul" into a phrase by vibrating nasally.
15 Music teachers: 'nuff said. They know music, and a LOT of what traditionally comes off in the early rounds of Idol isn't remotely close.
16 And drama teachers have been around music and musicals long enough to gain a pretty good ear for the horrid. They also have more experience at judging auditions.
17 As teachers, of course, we can see potential, and can assess what the performer needs to do to improve.
18 We have also witnessed wannabes: people who have all the heart, but who do nothing really to try to improve, or to watch for the subtleties of performing live. They are often driven by pain, and often have passionate emotional issues.
19 It's the nature of performing arts. All people are driven a bit by pain and emotional issues, but some way more than others. And when they go up relatively unprepared to an audition, they can take their anger out on the judges, or on the directors, or whomever, so they could throw a "poor me" emo drama to a crowd of pigeons.
20 I used to fall for that stuff, and would try to help people who don't really want help, but who would want attention.
21 Of course, I still deal with that stuff on a minor level, but it runs rampant in the performing arts.
22 I think that Simon's venom brought out the evil brother or sister in a lot of performing arts' teachers.
23 Our job always was to walk on eggs around those sorts, because we are teachers first, and many of those students had some very real issues, heartbreaking issues. To this minute I see students who act out, but who I know have things going on in their lives that some of us could never imagine.
24 I'm not trying to ding them in terms of this issue.
25 But I don't mind watching Simon saying things that as a teacher I could never say to a performer. Like, "Don't quit your day job."
26 As teachers, we can't kill dreams. We can't look at someone whose entire passion in life is to become famous and tell them, "You will never become famous."
27 But many of us have squirmed at auditons, and suffered many of the "poor me's" breakdowns, and would watch the pigeons flock down to their side to comfort them.
28 This would often result in our being the nice person with the venomous inside. A lot of times a group would support the "poor me" and look down on the professionals in charge. Happens.
29 Occupational hazard.
30 So American Idol without Simon is no longer the same, and it never will be. Oh, don't get me wrong. There were times that I would cringe at things he would say to people. And his ego was off the charts. But his comments were often right on point. The guy knows talent. A lot of it stems from genuine hard work, which we genuine hard workers recognize instantly.
31 And this was sort of fun. Last night I think I picked like nine-out-of ten people who got to "go to Hollywood". I'm guessing that the show made it so your layman could score pretty high in that category. They had to do something to secure ratings.
32 A lot of times when I "watch" Idol, I will listen first, rather than look, just to hear the phrasings, the pitch, and the basic natural talent. It's pretty easy to see who is reaching, and who is there when you do that. And it's pretty easy to see who works hard, as opposed to who thinks they work hard.
33 And I'll eventually look up, because a person's look is also a huge part of their ability to engage an audience. Scary, while a pretty good weapon sometimes, usually is a complete put off, like, "Take care of those issues of yours, dude."
34 But sometimes it becomes edgy, and just hits the right stride.
35 But genuine talent is genuine talent. It's like finding a Buster Posey, or an Aaron Rodgers. It's something that is just there, and that everyone can see. It's someone who has worked hard at performing, and has a bit of that "something" that will always remain a mystery to me.
36 But a lot of the DN readers have that.
37 There are lots who were utterly amazing over the years. I think one of the nicest things about Facebook is that I not only can stay in touch with many of these people, but that I sometimes get out and watch them still perform.
38 Or better: I could still sit down and jam with them. Just sing a song or two, or watch them on a stage somewhere, and enjoy a beverage afterwards. It doesn't happen often, but it always can happen.
39 And American Idol sometimes reminds me of all of those auditions, not just for plays and musicals, but for talent shows as well. I could be a ruthless talent show judge.
40 I'll watch American Idol this season. And Steven Tyler will get on my last nerve, and J-Lo I'll tolerate, sort of like a mediocre but pretty waitress.
41 But Simon's cutting-to-the chase I'll miss. I won't miss when he goes over-the-line with comments, or when he tells people that they will never amount to anything.
42 But I will miss his ability to recognize potential superstars. He understands all of it, and it's a huge loss for the show.
43 I also miss the enormous frustration of the really awful auditions. I loved that part of the show, because all of us who were in performing arts literally lived through that sort of thing, and remained polite and encouraging throughout. It was the show's comic relief. And possibly the main reason performing arts' teachers LOVED the show.
44 So watching Simon throw a pie into the face of a guy or gal who deserves it was always this sort of evil retribution for many of us.
45 Ah, dark secrets revealed in today's DN!
46 Read all about it!
47 So American Idol, your annual use as a lava lamp with sound is back in place.
48 I'll watch.
49 Or listen.
50 Have a great weekend.
51 Peace.
Recent Comments