November 22, 2010

• 
  The Daily News

  1   What a weekend!

   

  2  Just loved the weird weather and, well, everything!

   

  3   Well, not everything exactly.

   

  4   I enjoyed the Big Game, even though Cal took it in the shorts.

   

  5   I secretly rooted for Cal, but only because they were the underdogs.

   

  6   A part of me loves Stanford, but only because of all the great players and coaches they sent to the 49ers' camp over the years.

   

  7   But another part of me loves Cal because I used to enjoy chilling in Berkeley "back-in-the-day" just because I thought that town was so hip.

   

  8   Plus I worked at Memorial Stadium for years and years. Some great memories, and a sad good-bye on that count.
  

   

  9   But then...I also want Andrew Luck and Jim Harbaugh to come over to the Niners. It would SO work, all things considered. Singletary and any Smith need to pack their donkeys and take a long hike.
  

   

  10   Harbaugh will be THE most hunted coach in professional sports next year, and Andrew Luck the most sought after quarterback in the draft.

   

  11   If the NIners' chief-of-staff has been in contact with his uncle Eddie, then the most incredible thing they could do would be to fire the immensely stupid Singletary at the end of the season, and immediately contact Harbaugh with a REAL offer, and also deliberately lose every game for the rest of the season so they will get the number one pick.

   

  12   Just fantasy, I agree, but REALLY. Not a bad plan. If the Niners lose the rest of their games, they will be eligible to pick the first-round draft pick. It isn't going to happen, of course, because no team would do that. But I must say, watching the game yesterday, it looked as though they already have set the plan in motion.
  

   

  13   Dude.

   

  14   There are sports teams do these things, even though nobody would ever admit it. Remember, money is at the core of most things in this world, and people do ridiculously mind-boggling things when money is involved.
  

   

  15   Nah, I wouldn't want the Niners to deliberately lose. I'm just pretty sure they will manage by following the plan they've paved all year, which is to show up for each game completely unprepared.
  

   

  16   I just hope nobody gets hurt.
  

   

  17   How weird that you want YOUR team to lose.

   

  18   Of course, no football team would deliberately lose to build for next year.

   

  19   Too much integrity.

   

  20   But right now? The Niners have to do something. I hope they do it with integrity, seriously. But a team of Harbaugh/Luck would certainly turn that franchise upside down. And this year? The Niners aren't just a lousy team. They are a pathetic team right now.

  21   And somehow just two games out of first place.

  22   Pathetic. You know how the Giants' kept using the term "Torture" all year?

  23    Niners' football: Pathetic. And stupid, stupid, stupid.
  

   

  21   Moving on, Part the First:  Speaking of stupid, here's a story for you.

   

  22   Last night, after watching the abysmal performance of the Niners, I walked out to my back yard all alone, just to look to the sky for some sort of inspiration for today's DN.

   

  23   Now two day's ago, I went out there only to find that the playhouse in our back had the door locked. That door is never, ever locked.
  

   

  24   That playhouse has been there for YEARS, eventually becoming a sort of storage shed for lawnmowers, garden tools, holiday boxes, and summer stuff. I leave it unlocked for convenience.
  

   

  25    I must add here that the place is messy, disorganized, but a great place to throw stuff when there is nowhere to put anything else.

   

  26    So two day's ago, when I found it locked, I found it a bit odd. For a moment, I got scared. I thought that some homeless guy had takent residence.

   

  27   Helene eventually found a key that unlocked the door, but still...

   

  28   Last night I went out to get inspired as to what I should bring to the good ol' DN, looked up, and saw that the window in the playhouse had a light on upstairs.
  

   

  29   Exhausted, I looked up in disbelief. The door being locked the day before coupled with the rainy weather made me think that a homeless person might have taken residence in the playhouse.
  

   

  30   Everyone was gone, and I looked a second time, and it became abundantly clear that there was a dangling lightbulb lit up, on the second floor. Mind you I was REALLY scared at that moment.
  

   

  31   After a few phone calls hither and yon, I decided to contact the San Jose police.

   

  32   I called 311, because I knew that, while a slight emergency, if whoever was up there was just a homeless person, that it didn't necessarily constitute a 911 emergency. But I have had my home broken into, and a long while ago I found that the guy who used to live right next door to me was arrested for breaking into people's houses and putting guns to people's heads.

  33   One morning I answered a knock at my door to see a S.W.A.T. team officer who told me to keep my family inside and to lie flat. I poured a cup of coffee first, of course, but it was terrifying.
  

   

  33   So last night  I hit 311 on my cell.

   

  34   I got some taped operator who said that the number I had reached was "not available at this time."

   

  35   

  
  

   

  36   So I was a bit out of sorts thinking that some guy was bold enough to turn on a light in that tiny playhouse.

  37    I was completely alone, and scared. I didn't want to bang on the door or even turn the dog loose, because if whoever it was had a gun, it could have been disastrous.

  38   So after calling family members, I called the San Jose Police.

  39   This led to my calling 911, because I felt immediately threatened.

  40    It occurred to me while awaiting the police that we have no electricity in the playhouse, but I definitely saw the upper part lit up as bright as a a lamp.

  41   The police showed, went to the back, flashlights working, and eventually came back and told me they saw no evidence of anyone living in the place. I believed them, because it is pretty jammed with backyard stuff, holiday boxes, and lots of other things.

  42   I said good-bye, and finally worked up the courage to go back out to the yard.

  43   I looked up and saw the light again. It was actually coming from the window of the house behind the playhouse!  I felt SO stupid, but it's amazing what paranoia can do to the mind. I have a dangling bulb in my loft in the garage, and this looked a lot like that. There were trees in front of the window, and with the paranoia, it all blended into quite a fright.

  44   So that turned out to be a bit of a pie-in-the face to a guy who is clearly borderline Zeimers. Yeesh.

  45   I guess we've all had those moments. When I first "saw the light" I instantly tied it with the door having been locked the day before, so I took one fast look and ran into the house for safety. I was legitimately scared.

  46   Looking back, I should have relaxed my shoulders, but a lot runs through the mind when it is blinded by fear.

  47   I feel pretty dumb now, but all I thought of was that whoever would be that bold would have a gun, so I was inside my own house with every door locked.

  48   I'm actually glad it was nothing, and that everything and everybody is safe.

  49   I did get to sleep really early last night.

  50   Moving on, Part the Second: We have three days this week, and we are continuing on with the Greeks.

  51   It's been fun so far. I think the students are enjoying the unit, and I am too!

  52   I'm WAY rested, but it's 3:10 a.m. as I write this! I already have had around five hours of sleep, so it's okay, but I really want to put this DN to bed.

  53   So have a GREAT day today. Short week for many, so fly low. And look around. They're everywhere, muhahahahaha!!!!

  54   Peace.

  ~H~

   
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