September 21, 2010
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The Niners' Patrick Willis and the Saints' Reggie Bush
appear to be doing a Rhumba in last night's toe-to-toe go.
The Daily News1 Yeesh. The first thing I have to ask: Why do I bother watching Niners' football?
2 Good game, I must admit. GREAT game, in fact!
3 But the stupidity! That's the difference between the Walsh era and the Singletary era.
4 The drama played out on the evening when the team retired Jerry Rice's # 80 Jersey. EVERYBODY was there, so there was almost a supernatural feel to this game.
5 And before anyone could sit down with a beer a ball gets hiked over Smith's head, causing a safety. Bad snap. Horrible snap, and we're down two. Stupid.
6 Hey, don't get me wrong. We all do stupid things on a daily basis. But you just have to have all things going if you're going to succeed.
7 And I'm going to say this: Alex Smith looked...well, WAY better.
8 A WHOLE lot of stupid happened in last night's game, but the Niners tried. Just not hard enough. You have to be on all cylinders, which NONE of us are, lol!
9 Oh well.
10 It's just a game. No point trippin'.
11 And the Raiders WON, and let's here it for BRUCE!!!
12 Ah, I hate to make the DN all about sports, but this was a big one, and it certainly was an exciting game. But O, the stupidity! You had some of that back in the day, but really. Stupidity keeps rearing its ugly head. It seems to be all over this team.
13 That's my immediate summary on the game.
14 To be fair, I exhibit stupidity every single day in my job.
15 So it's not like it's rare.
16 And I prepare carefully and work hard all week trying to make things happen for my students.
17 But every now and again, I do turn stupid.
18 Hey, it's RARE, but I do.
19 Ahhh, okay. I do stupidity on a daily basis, which is probably psychologically why I find it particularly offensive.
20 Don't we all do that?
21 We REALLY despise stuff that WE do all the time.
22 Human nature.
23 Freud was a genius, and knew all these things.
24 Moving on, Part the First: After the game, I switched over to Dancin' With the Stars.
25 Florence Henderson at age 76 kicked the 49ers entire Special Teams Unit in the buttocks.
26 Years ago I saw Florence Henderson play Maria in The Sound of Music.
27 Len Goodman said she was "entertaining". I thought she was beautiful, and still amazing. Maybe a tad fake, maybe a little too much Botox, but she brought it, and if I may be so ageist, "for a gal her age".
28 Nice work, Mrs. Brady.
29 I am descended from Bradys, which I always thought was cool, because my immediate Brady cousins LOOKED like the Brady Bunch girls when I was younger.
30 And they are all three STILL gorgeous!
31 Just FYI, one of my gorgeous cousins is named Marcia, and she is absolutely wonderful! Remember Marcia in the Brady Bunch? We have a REAL Marcia.
32 I SWEAR to you, they were the Brady Bunch, all the way down to the split long-hair, and the bell bottoms. Here's their picture:
33 Pretty darned close, wouldn't you say? Good times, good times.They'll probably kill me if they read this.
34 So I have no idea how I got to this point in the DN except to say that I now retire early so I could give it my all in the classroom.
35 I STILL do stupid things, and I think without looking that today's DN began that as a theme, using the fledgling 49ers as a model.
36 Game on, dude.
37 Moving On, Part the Second: I'm still getting all sorts of leg cramps from this muggy weather. Yesterday I ate THREE, count 'em, THREE bananas and about a thousand glasses of water to stop the leg cramps.
38 Didn't work. Anyone know where I could grab a few Midol?
39 Is it Midols? Or is it just naturally plural, like deer, or buffalo?
40 Ah, who knows.
41 If my sister's husband gives me two Midols, are they considered "Midols-in-Law"?
42 I'm really sorry I said that.
43 Right now, Mike "The Situation" is about to dance on Dancin' With the Stars.
44 We're right back to "stupid".
45 Well, it's almost October, and I'm ready to throw all this grading of papers away and hit the gym like I did last year.
46 I fully want to get buff, shave my head, and throw down with The Situation.
47 Or not.
48 Moving on, Part the Third: I pretty much hit the sack immediately after the game, as I have been trying to early-to bed it. The leg cramps subsided, and I ALMOST slept through the night. I awakened at 3 a.m. to some news show. The television somehow was still on, and it talked all about how Prince Charles not only talks to each of his plants, but listens to them. Charles purportedly told reporters that he was not a "loony".
49 I think that's what 49ers rookie Philip Adams was doing when he tried to field a punt that was going to go out of bounds inside the Niners 20-yard line. I think he was more than likely listening to the turf, and it told him to field the ball. It was 19-14 at the time, so...
50 I'm sorry. I still can't get over the stupidity of that play. I actually have a friend who has a friend (?) who figured that you would probably come out ahead more often if you NEVER field a punt. I don't know about that, but it's an interesting concept.
51 Well, they're still my team, but it is pretty frustrating. I don't want the DN to become a sports rag, so it is important that Prince Charles listens to his plants. I used to listen to my plants in college, but they'd always say, "Put on some Zeppelin, dude." I'd look over and some pink Zinnia would be smiling at me.
52 That may have been the day that I gave up on both plants AND Zeppelin.
53 So fear not, sports fans. I am frustrated with my Niners, but they're still my team. I was born into a Niner family, went to games when I was way young, have lived and died with them forever, and was even on the 40-yard line when Joe Montana hit Dwight Clark with "The Catch". I stood with family and childhood friends. We celebrated, and then immediately got worried because there was still enough time for us to lose.
54 I remember Lawrence Pillars forcing a fumble, and THEN celebrating "The Catch", because we got the ball back.
55 Good times. Can this team do it? I honestly don't know. Even though Smith played his best game ever, he still likes to roll to the right and throw the ball out-of-bounds. The difference this week was that he completed 11 passes in a row, and THEN rolled right and threw it out-of-bounds. It WAS a great game, I admit. But the stupid mistakes. Yeesh.
56 Moving on, Part Four: Lost in all of this is the San Jose Giants' repeat Cal League Champions by defeating Rancho Cucumonga 7-6 in 10 innings. Congrats to San Jo, and to manager Brian Harper.
57 Dayum, it's almost 3:45 a.m. and I'm still venting.
58 Well, I have to teach in a few hours.
59 Bet I make at least one mistake. I'll try to be perfect though, I promise. And when I get home, I'm going to go out to my yard and do a little listening.
60 Gottago.
61 Peace.
~H~
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