November 16, 2009
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“Put your hand in an oven for a minute and it will be like an hour; sit beside a beautiful woman for an hour and it will be like a minute.That is relativity.”
The Daily News
1 This past Friday was an interesting day, as it was To Write Love On Her Arms Day, which is a movement about which I knew and know very little, except that students all showed up to class with the word “LOVE” on their arms, along with poems, messages, and other bits of hope.
2 By my second class, it began to trickle in that this is a national movement to show teens and young adults that many people understand that they go through depression, suicidal thoughts, and a feeling of hopelessness, and it is a movement to let them see that millions of people know and care about them.
3 A girl in my class grabbed my arm and wrote LOVE on it, using my Expos, thank goodness, but I got into it, and sent the message off to my DN e-mail constituency. By the end of the day, it was pandemic; the entire school enjoyed a day of LOVE.
4 My students had a vocabulary test, and nearly every test had messages of LOVE on it, and to be honest, it cheered me up a whole lot.
5 Having just gone through a bout of depression in which I became slightly disoriented a couple of weeks ago, I realized that depression could happen to anybody at any time, and that it happens fast.
6 Time for me became a tad distorted. Minutes became hours, so it wasn’t the second part of Einstein’s quote at all. Fortunately, I recognized it pretty quickly and knew that rest was the number one thing needed.
7 I had been having bouts of insomnia that caused it, no doubt. I also decided to begin going to The Gym and then visiting and reaching the best people I know, old friends and new. My best visit was when I went to the Niner game with my Dad.
8 I felt wonderful on Friday, and in fact, I felt completely cured of that brief stint by last Sunday.
9 We all go through it at certain times; most just don’t talk about it too much. I’m not afraid to share it because I’m cool like that.
10 I missed people, first off. I missed my Mom, as well as lots of people who seemed to still be around, but whom I hadn’t seen in a while. No sleep can cause a sort of natural depression in which time can really move slowly (especially before payday lol!).
11 Fortunately I have felt this sort of thing before, like when my wonderful Class of ’05 departed. I knew all along that all the fun and stuff was temporal, and that I would need to figure ways to keep in touch, but it was still a loss, which I always smiled off as the world’s gain.
12 I missed YB, and the Workshop, but was excited about moving on and up to a new life at the Chill-on-the-Hill. I love it now, but right after ’05 left, I had a lot of trouble just walking around. Sounds dumb, I know, but that’s what severe depression can do.
13 I had a rather eminent front at the time, smiling and encouraging them to continue to grow and to be awesome, while inside I was torn up. I never asked for it; it is just a natural thing that happens to people sometimes.
14 I was able to swim then as well, but I didn’t get out and seek friends or anybody, because you just don’t want to bother people because you just don’t, right? Well, I did have a few people who were awesome, and they know who they are.
15 You don’t want to burden people, but calling on friends who have traditionally had your back, people that perhaps you had also helped through some tough times and whom you know are usually pretty reliable “go to” people is generally a safe bet. You’ve helped them, and they’ve helped you. There is grand trust there. There has to be. Friendships and relationships that are rock solid are important.
16 Getting rest, eating healthier, changing modes to counting everything and everybody that is right in your life helps considerably. And knowing that even people who might not be able physically to be here can still help with just their spiritual presence.
17 Staying away from drugs, alcohol and poor eating habits can also do much to make things a LOT better. Coffee can also get one into a cycle of intense highs, insomnia, deep crashes, followed by irritability until you get your next “dose”.
18 Realizing that you can’t always control things, and accepting that with a bit of Zen and all might help.
19 Anyway, I knew by the very nature of the shakes and the jits a few weeks ago that I needed to change fast, because I wanted to give this absolutely no chance to go deeper.
20 Well, it worked, and not a moment too soon, as we are at the end of the grading period, and have some huge deadlines all crashing in like thunderous waves right before Thanksgiving.
21 The idea of giving thanks couldn’t have come at a better moment.
22 To everyone who helped me out, and put up with whatever was happening, thank you; I can’t say it enough.
23 I predicted that an old friend might come by and visit you on Friday, and midway through my day, Jenny and Rachael Valdez visited, and it was wonderful seeing them. I had my class all say hi to them, with LOVE written all over their arms. All smiles, ears, and braces. So much love.
24 During lunch, I couldn’t stop gushing about how I loved the kids at EV, and how it was To Write On Her Arms Day, and how the kids were joining this wonderfully amazing movement that is designed to encourage people going through depression that they have lots of friends and support to help them keep their lives healthily and happily.
25 I then began counting a LOT of blessings and goodnesses going on right now, and when I looked up, all three of us smiled because we clearly have much more good than otherwise. The students smiled too!
26 So as we move through the next few weeks, it’s important that we connect with good friends, and thank all family and friends who are there for us, no matter what.
27 Depression is real, and it hits hard and fast. We all need to lean on people a little, but hopefully they will be there for us, with a great big hug of “no matter what”.
28 Those kids brought it on Friday. I don’t often go into talking about such personal stuff on the DN, but maybe if someone else is going through a tough time right now, they might just think of the hundreds of thousands of kids on Friday who put LOVE on their arms, armed for Love.
29 It had an enormous impact on me, so I just thought I’d pass it on this freezing morning.
30 And once again, thanks to everybody, especially my family and close friends, for being strong for the guy who traditionally has known he needs to be strong for others. So a million thanks. I am once again available to serve as a rock.
31 Live life, love life.
32 Peace.
~H~
