November 13, 2009
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...caught up in circles confusion is nothing new...
...then you say--go slow--I fall behind
...the second hand unwinds...
1 I thought I had yesterday totally nailed. I had already done 90 laps at The Gym the previous day, and couldn't wait to hit The Gym yesterday afternoon, but alas!
2 Fate, in all her glory, stepped in front of my mental TOOOOOONDRA and simply didn't allow it.
3 First, four different people wanted me to write recommendations, edit homework, or write something for a project they were working on. It wasn't much, just a bunch coming in all on top of one another. I'm always happy to help, but my plan was to hit The Gym, go home, watch the Niner game, and then chill with editing and recommendations, etc.
4 As always, I helped students first, friends second, and the projects third, to which were added some responses to the DN in which people needed a bit of spiritual support.
5 I took care of as much as I could, fell asleep for a brief spell, awakened, and realized that I hadn't yet done the DN. I STILL had things I wanted to write to people, or messages I wished to shoot across cyberspace. None ever arrived, really, and probably would have been fruitless anyway.
6 AnywayZ...
7 At at around 9:30 last night I realized that I had never made it to The Gym, and stuffed everything into a backpack, hopped in the immortal TOOOOOONDRA, and headed out.
8 I got all the way there, handed my card to the dude at the front, and headed upstairs to get into my swimming gear.
9 Was completely ready to roll, when I reached into my backpack looking for my swimming goggles.
10 Well, the goggles baggie thingy was in there, but the goggles were gone, sorta like the frame being left in the Louvre, but the Mona Lisa missing.
11 Lousy analogy, but helpful for the slow of study out there.
12 ANYWAYZZZZZZZZZZ...
13 You can't swim 30 laps without protecting your eyes. I did one of those numbers where you turn everything upside down and inside out, and somehow, the goggles were simply not in their usual place, which was the inside the aforementioned baggie thingy.
14 The reality that I had taken the effort to get off my couch at 9:30 p.m., driven across town for 25 minutes, checked in, walked up the stairs to the mens' dressing room only to find that my goggles were gone took a few minutes to settle in.
15 I worked so amazingly hard all week, and to be denied caught me by surprise. And yeah, I normally would have hedged my shoulders and moved to the machines, but I think I was just knocked outta sorts enough that I packed stuff up and headed home.
16 Setbacks.
17 Don't they just hit us every single day?
18 I totally had a plan, and everything else was in place, but even then, I was stopped short.
19 And the funny thing is, I REALLY wanted to continue my physical AND emotional strengthening, which worked one hundred per cent this past week.
20 The setback will, in the scheme of things, become minor, but the fact that I had to stop helping my friends, former students, current students, and myself to go work out, only to be denied was just one of those little life's tests.
21 My feelings? If this is my biggest worry of the day, then I got no worries.
22 Seriously.
23 Naturally there was more, because we also have those other things that seem to dig into our psyches ever single day, but it made it all seem pretty irrelevant.
24 So I have simply to put that little setback behind me, and not open the portal to every demon that ever haunted me because I lost a stupid pair of goggles. The reality is that if I tried to tell others about how upset I was over something so minor, they'd look at me as though I had twelve heads.
25 Doesn't that sorta stuff happen to us every single day? We have like one or two huge issues that we are dealing with, the REAL "stingers", and when they don't suddenly turn into the deliverance of our hopes, allow other little things throw us into instant turbulence?
26 I try to learn from the little things.
27 We so often take things that are really digging into us and somehow deal with them by taking out our frustrations and pains on ordinary daily happenings, and in some cases, on the people closest to us, that it is almost absurd.
28 I'm quite certain there were other issues than simply missing out on a workout day, and I know darned well what they are, but my focus moved to the idiocy of the moment.
29 Yeesh.
30 You'd have thought the Earth had been hit by a meteor or something.
31 Taking a nice deep breath when things suddenly turn is an important thing.
32 To me, I had been making such tremendous strides in getting over depression that I almost forgot that the world will always throw us a challenge. It doesn't take a time out for temporary bouts of depression, or in this case, a stupid pair of swimming goggles.
33 My remedy?
34 Shake it off. It's one thing, and tomorrow everything can turn around if we approach it with fierce optimism. It happened, it's past, and now we're here. Today could turn into the best day of the year.
35 So I need to go to the store and buy another pair of goggles. They might be way better, and I may swim better than ever today. Someone I haven't seen in years may come into my life and make me smile. I may realize, as I did this morning, that my backpack zipper was broken, and that the cursed goggles might have been napping in the back seat of the TOOOOOONDRA. At least that's my IGT (Immediate Goggle Theory).
36 So I will try to make today the best day of the year. It's always a good concept to which one should return time and again. Try to make every day the best day of the year. I've a grand friend to thank for that.
37 There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
38 I think that's the message with which I'll leave you. Keep fighting. Keep winning, and you'll be a winner. And really: KNOW you're a winner, because you are.
39 Yeah, yeah, yeah, well you already know that, haha.
40 Have a beautiful weekend everybody.
41 And just keep fighting; you'll eventually win. Let nothing stop you. Keep fighting.
42 For realz.
43 Peace.
~H~
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