September 28, 2009
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The Daily News
1 My neighbor told my yesterday that I looked like Dick Tracy, of both comics and Hollywood fame.
2 I didn’t know if I should have kissed him, or belted him in the chops.
3 I guess it depends on which Dick Tracy he meant.
4 Well, I’ve always enjoyed wearing hats, long before Dick Tracy and Indiana Jones made their duo marks.
5 I’m quite certain that my own mad-hatting inspired both of those fellows.
6 It’s just that my grandfather always wore those sorta old school gangsta hats, the sort you would see in old movies. You know the ones. Sinatra. Bogart. George Raft.
7 He always looked SO cool in them, and I look a LOT like my grandfather, always have.
8 We O.G.’s stick together.
9 Anyway, I have an enormous collection of hats, old hats, new hats, baseball hats, and the classic porkpies of lore.
10 There’s a picture of me somewhere where I am caught at around age seven sporting a total Sinatra hat, and imitating something from Public Enemy and I believe I was more than likely imitating Cagney. I did the scene where Cagney pushed a grapefruit into Mae Clarke’s face, and when I was a kid, I thought she deserved it!
11 If memory serves, it was first thing in the morning, and he had just asked if she had drink, purportedly to work as a hair-of-the-dog for his hangover. He is clearly hungover, so Clarke hesitates and says, “…I wish…” , implying clearly that she wishes he would stop drinking so much. Cagney interrupts abruptly with this classic line: ”There you go with all that wishin’ stuff again…I wish you wuz a wishin’ well, so that I could tie a bucket to ya and sink ya!” This he says in his pajamas.
12 It doesn’t end there. Clarke is stunned, starts to utter more, when Cagney grabs a large grapefruit half and pushes it into her face. As a kid, I squealed when I saw that on teevee. Loved it, loved Cagney.
13 Ah…the movies…
14 Somewhere along the way I memorized that scene, and loved it. Being the only boy in the family, I didn’t suffer nagging wimminz too much as a kid. Happened too often.
15 So…Dick Tracy, eh? The noive of that neighbor!
16 I decided to take it upon myself to go over to that his house and smash a grapefruit into his face.
17 Here’s the classic scene that might certainly have inspired this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4R5wZs8cxI
18 The pajamas ALONE make the scene, as well as his obvious hungover presence. That face is priceless.
19 Cagney, ya gotta love it.
20 Moving on: Not to bring up sports or anything, but the Niners loss to Minnesota yesterday was as good a loss as one can get. In a miracle play with two seconds left, Brett Favre hit no-name receiver Greg Lewis with a laser to pull a victory out of certain defeat. It was truly one for the ages, and elicited all sorts of twitters, facebook comments, and even exorcisms, I’m quite certain.
21 Fair enough, Favre’s chance for yet another of his “miraculous” comebacks. Let the old geezer enjoy it. It was a fluke, but one of legend.
22 What went unrealized yesterday was Shaun Hill’s emergence as a serious starter, as well as Vernon Davis’ arrival and maturity as a potential NFL star.
23 Buried in all of this was the post-game show with KNBR’s abrasive genius Gary Radnich, former San Francisco mayor Willie Brown, and the Niners venerable defensive back Eric Davis.
24 During the post-game show, Willie Brown kept referring to Favre as “Bart”. I wasn’t sure if Brown meant Bart Starr, the former superstar QB of Green Bay, Bart Simpson, former superstar of The Simpsons, or of Brett Maverick, from an old teevee show from way back, starring the immortal James Garner.
James Garner as Brett Maverick.25 For all we know, the grand Ol’ Willie may have been thinking of Bob Marley, one syllable too many to qualify, but just as spaced as Willie.
Da Boize.26 I’m kinda thinkin’ that space is becoming the hazy place these daze.
27 So Willie, we love hearing your inane commentary, but DUDE. His name is Brett, not Bart.
28 You’re thinking of the other Maverick.
29 Ah, nevuhmind. Nobody will notice, because most people are reasonably spaced out and unable to speak rationally these days. Too much drink, hookah, smoke, Twitter, Facebook, non-reality, and heroic attempts to numb the pain. There are easier alternatives.
30 Thank goodness for the trees, the sun, the sky, and the clouds, always out there to keep it all real.
31 Immina go.
32 Come out, come out, wherever you are…
33 It’s Monday. Feel free to call me if you trippin’.
34 Fly low. Take nothing seriously.
35 Or for granted.
36 Live life.
37 Love life. There’s lots to love.
38 Get out. Breathe real air and talk with real people.
39 Watch a cloud pass overhead. Life’s real.
40 Peace.
~H~
