April 21, 2009
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1 So last night on Leno Martha Stewart made a rare appearance.
2 Bitch must stepped out of a UFO.
3 I'm not sure, because I wasn't really paying much attention, but I think she was telling Jay that she had been struck by lightning three times.
4 I was away from the teevee, and doing one of those things where you're sort of listening but sort of involved in something else that SEEMS way more important.
5 At first I thought it was one of those nut cases that they used to bring on the Tonight Show during Johnny Carson's reign.
6 Johnny brought this ol' coot out one fine evening. The guy had whiskers and a whistle every time he'd say an "s".
7 Claimed he had been struck by lightning nine times.
8 He even pulled out an ol' straw hat to prove it. The straw hat had a huge hole burned right in the front.
9 The guy said that the first five or six times he had wondered, but by the ninth, he found Gawd Almightuh.
10 So I thought Leno had a gal like that guy on, to be honest with you.
11 Turned out it was Martha Stewart. She told Jay that she had been struck by lightning three times, and that on the last hit, her watch started circling around backwards.
12 It reminded me of that old Orson Welles flickThe Stranger, where the town clock in this small town would go haywire all the time.
13 I think Martha's watch was a cuckoo clock.
14 Anyway, I figured it was 4/20, so that probably explained it.
15 Martha was eating vast amounts of Oreos and guzzling ice cold milk.
16 Got hemp?
17 Moving on: Speaking of the Leno show, it's sort of weird that Conan is going to take over the helm.
18 I just don't know about that one. Conan ran his show as though every day were 4/20.
19 I had a lot more to say about Leno, but my computer is going wonky, so I'll probably have to sign off right about now. Earlier on the fonts kept changing to small little annoying things, and now it won't grab pictures.
20 You didn't need a picture of Conan first thing in the morning anyway.
21 So immina go.
22 Don't fry today.
23 Love it.
24 Peace.
~H~
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