March 24, 2009
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1 Okay, so now we KNOW the date of the end of the world.
2 I'd be willing to place a bet that I could throw a DN out there the very next day and most people won't read it.
3 Haha ; )
4 That date is ACTUALLY the date that everybody on the planet will all forget at the same exact harmonious moment.
5 It'll be great, because guys on the battlefield will suddenly stop, scratch their heads, and wonder why they're there.
6 Teachers will stop lessons instantly and stare into space.
7 Students will forget what the teacher just taught, but most won't notice.
8 Stoners will look left, look right, and then stare straight ahead, all the time having their mouths slightly open. They'll linger there for a few hours, and then finally laugh at the joke that was told on 12-20-12.
9 Letterman will scratch his head, and finally realize that Conan stole his coffee cup.
10 Drew Barrymore's boobs will hit the floor, smudging her shoes.
11 Bush will need a bib.
12 Dogs will still do their same exact patterns even though everyone else will be stymied.
13 Judge Judy will finally turn some teenager to stone.
14 Right about then, a fetus will appear in outer space, floating around in an attempt to give meaning to the Universe.
15 Many people will come to understand Bread tunes.
16 All three contestants on Jeopardy will not get the final Jeopardy answer.
17 Some guy named Laurence will inevitably ask a cop for directions.
18 People will finally come to realize that Tom Cruise is deeper than anyone believed.
19 Billy Mays will suddenly lose his voice.
20 In an attempt to establish some new schtick, The Bachelor will have just featured a guy who changes his mind three times. His butt will fall off shortly thereafter.
21 THE My Pet Goat book will have just been purchased for a dollar on E-Bay.
22 The street lights will come on.
23 The sun will rise.
24 And it will be just another day.
25 I will have, by then, walked off with billions because I thougth to seel End of the World merch at exorbitant prices.
26 Until then, have a great 3/24/09.
27 Peace.
~H~
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