February 4, 2009
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The Daily News
Michael “Bongboy” Phelps1 You knew THAT was comin’!
2 Michael “Bongboy” Phelps. Yeesh.
3 How you gonna TAIL meh!
4 Sinner! Every witch way!
3 To the gallows, you worthless pond scum!
4 Yeesh.
5 Poor moron.
6 Honestly. So many morons. So little time.
7 People.
8 Some young moron who walks off with a truckload of golds is suddenly vilified by the media for taking a hit off a bong.
9 Puh-LEEZE.
10 I wonder how all those polished and pure media dawgs even knew what a bong was. I’m SURE none of THEM ever smoked weed.
11 Come now.
12 But they suddenly march to his house with torches and delcare the poor fellow a witch.
13 Toldja I was discovering America this year. As a new teacher of American Lit, I am discovering America. Several themes keep popping up. Hypocrisy seems to keep rearing its beautiful head.
14 Sin, genocide, racism, and hypocrisy are clearly the major topics of that class. Am I wrong in begging the quesion, “Why?” Not so much “Why these issues?” but more accurately, “Why do we continue to allow it?” This clearly isn’t about Michael Phelps.
15 I imagine it’s news, somehow. But we read The Scarlet Letter and see how everybody LOVES to vilify a sinner. I certainly do, all the time. Why, I feel that Michael Phelps should be wearing a scarlet “B” for “Bongboy”. Michael Vick should wear a scarlet “DK” for “Dog Killer”. And I should wear a scarlet “H” for “Hypocrite”. And maybe we all should wear embroidered scarlet mirrors.
16 Hypocrisy.
17 Pure and simple.
18 Are we all not guilty of hypocrisy at some point in our lives?
19 Over to you, Goody Fackyou.
20 Ah, do I ever LOVE teaching American Lit.
21 They’re finally starting to get it.
22 I teach all about hypocrisy these days.
23 Michael Vick and Arthur Miller are two immediate candidates for discussion.
24 Or…as an American, you could do one of two things: you could either 1) hate Michael Vick and REALLY hate Michael Phelps, or 2) You could realize that you yourself eat meat by and large, and 4) If you’ve never smoked weed, please put on your Puritan hat and point fingers.
25 If you HAVE smoked weed, find the nearest Coldstone and begin worshipping someone other than God. You are certainly to be tossed into the firey pits, and deservedly so. If you’ve eaten a McNugget, then you should put on a scarlet “CK” for “Chicken Killer”.
26 Okay, enough of this nonsense.
27 Take none of this seriously.
28 You do and I’ll have a clown come in and explain to you why clowns exist.
29 Meanwhile, be gooood…
30 And this week is the anniversary of the day the music died. I thought I’d throw up a picture of Buddy Holly just because. I’ll give you Ritchie Valens and the Big Bopper later in the week.
31 I’m gonna put on my Puritan hat now and join in the Michael Phelps witch hunt. I got nuthin’ else to do today.
32 Oh. And do me a favor? Never take me seriously. Ever. = ) <——-sideways goofy guy face meaning “lol” of “jk” or “lmao”.
33 Peace.
~H~
