October 16, 2008
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The Daily News
1 Thenkyew, Thenkyew, Thenkyew for all the cards and letters re: yesterday's DN about Pho. Clearly food is a major thing, and GOOD food is a MAJOR thing!
2 I never did get Pho yesterday. Phoils!
3 Ah, vell. I'll probably get some in the next few days, because food is the deal, folks. You know it and I know it.
4 Here's an easy one: If you were in seventh grade, and John McCain were running against Barack Obama, who would be the cooler candidate?
5 So essentially you should vote for McCain, because he's been trying to get that back ever since.
6 M'bad.
7 Honestly.
8 Dood.
9 If John McCain and Barack Obama were your social studies teachers in high school, who would clearly be the better teacher?
10 I mentioned that to Helene last night and she said that McCain would be Chickenfoot.
11 Okay YB historians, chew on THAT one for a while.
12 "Chickenfoot" was a teacher who years ago had been a bit of a wimpy guy who suddenly began hanging out with administrators. He was just some regular teaching schlep like me, only within seconds of his having been hired, he began wearing suits, and making most people who met him wish to hang with others.
13 To be more precise, and to line him up with McCain, JUST personality-wise, absolutely no right-thinking person would feel comfortable with the guy.
14 For one thing, he blinked and twitched incessantly. That always seems to me to signal either an insecure person, or a terrible actor, at least in the mind of Michael Caine.
15 Drama Lesson # 1: John. When the camera is on you, avoid blinking. It makes you look like a guy who went through adolescence having been the victim of incessant ridicule.
16 So don't blink.
17 Anyway, "Chickenfoot" became the guy in the grey suit who fast became the darling of the Administrators. They would welcome him like Lumiere, feather-dust his very being, and bring him into private lunches which included grapes, and something veggie in a cold tortilla.
18 The guy was cleary a butternosed apple polisher, so in the ESUHSD his rise was meteoric.
19 But he always had this REALLY quirky side, the stuff that the Burrito Gang recognized instantly, that sort of guy who was all about rules and enforcement, and haughty suits.
20 The sort of guy who went through life running from wedgies.
21 Anyway, "Chickenfoot" lasted a coupla years when suddenly he disappeared with nobody saying a word about what had happened.
22 I heard he got busted for giving Cub Scouts wedgies, but who knows?
23 Anyway, I thought it was pretty astute of Helene to conclude that about one of our candidates.
24 To give a little support McCain's way, Sarah Palin looks to me like a kick-in-the pants.
25 She doesn't have that weird-ass quirkiness, the eye-blinking countenance, nor any other sort of social concerns. She's ridiculous, but she's a helluva good ol' gal. Even I get drawn in by her boushit, at least until she opens her mouth.
26 But you'd ELECT her, just because where she might be different from you on the core "economic" issues,
17 But really, in terms of this election, who is cooler?
18 Never mind anything political, Most voters aren't interested in that.
19 Bottom line: who's cooler?
20 Who got game?
21 Because the ones who have game, and I'll include Sarah in that one, in fact, she's got big game, but really, who got game?
22 I see a landslide on the horizon.
23 And not a small one.
24 Anyway, I gotta slow down for the morning.
25 I need rest. I honestly was trying to remain apolitical, and wanted simply to watch these guys and base their game solely on cool.
26 Not because I think it's even worth one scond.
27 But because I truly think more people will vote on hairstyles or no cool than they would on anything resembling substance.
28 If people would stop worrying about the issues and focus on this as a popularity contest, the way they were TRAINED since birth, the right guy would get elected.
29 ...in a Landslide.
30 Aight then, just some observations from a guy who is watching election coverage from the eyes of the "libral" media.
31 Oh yeah. One more thing: when people are broke, nobody wants to hear a guy saying, "Neener neener neener, you hung out with people with cooties!"
32 Yeesh.
33 A fidgety, nervous weird guy would never win in seventh grade.
34 My guess is that he won't win this time either.
35 Gottago. Just some really intellectual stuff from a guy who sees firsthand how Joe Sixpack and Joe the Plumber vote.
36 Gonna be fun.
37 Peace.
~H~
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