September 10, 2008
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The Daily News1 Ah the vicissitudes of teaching and of learning!2 That's changes, dude.
3 So here's a tale of somewhat woe.
4 Y'see, I'm almost completely deaf in my left ear.
5 Huh?
6 Yep. Too much noise over the years has left me unable to hear in one ear, and my other ear constantly needs to work overtime.
7 That's okay when you're younger, but as you move into your more mature years, you need to be extremely careful not to be yelling, "Huh?" at everyone, or you'll look like a goofball to young people.
8 Especially if you are constantly in front of a class.
9 Sometimes that could backfire, which was exactly the case yesterday. Listen:
10 I had just finished my first lesson of the morning. For whatever reason, I hurried the lesson along in a feeble attempt at making the students write for a lengthy period of time.
11 The day before, I had lectured a full hour every single period of the day.
12 That's not a good thing, but I wanted to spare the kids homework on a Monday night and stretched things so that I would say little yesterday, and then turn it over to them to do a writing assignment.
13 But I went too swiftly in my first class yesterday, and they wound up talking and making lots of noise the entire period. I tried walking around the room, but they were squirrel and incapable of silence. It didn't matter what I did because I put them to task too early.
14 In my head I simply said, "Next period give them a little more time to get warmed up to the assignment, and lay the hammer down once they start writing."
15 As veteran teachers, we know some of these techniques. You have to calm a crowd and then let them work on their own. If you don't, they'll stay hyped and talkative. Common sense, but Monday mornings, there is never anything common about common sense.
16 Anyway, when my second class came in, I gave them a "sponge" activity, that is, something to write down as soon as they entered. This usually calms a group down and gets them into a quieter and calmer mood.
17 I asked them to write down a list of times they learned something by accident. A simple list, and to do this for around ten minutes while I took roll.
18 As expected, they quieted immediately because it was a tough thing to think about, and as they struggled, I took roll and commanded silence.
19 It worked perfectly, and usually does.
20 After around fifteen minutes, I asked them to share some of their ideas. This is a bit of what I call a popcorn technique, where they raise hands and each person contributes one quick response and I move to the next. It moves swiftly, elicits participation from everybody, and gives everyone more ideas to jot down.
21 Sounds a tad typical, but those are some of the secrets we learn as the years go by. They usually work. When we don't do them correctly, we get what happened during the first class, and we make our adjustments accordingly.
22 After around fifteen, I began the popcorn activity. It's basically, "What sorts of things did you come up with?" followed by a swift show of hands.
23 The students responded perfectly, but because of the cathedral ceilings in my room, they never seem to talk loudly enough. The room is cavernous and the sound travels up, much like a theatre. I constantly have to tell them to speak louder.
24 I realize I have trouble hearing, but in my new room, the sound is especially difficult because it is so cavernous. They think they are speaking perfectly loud, but if they mumble even a little, it is virtually impossible to make out what they are saying.
25 With a popcorn activity, it's fairly easy to fake it. If I don't hear it exactly, I could just become engaged and say, "Good!" and point to the next person. It makes the first person feel great and elicits more hands, because everybody craves praise.
26 CIA training, what can I say?
27 Anyway, one kid raised his hand and proceeded to mumble into his chin.
28 Although I didn't want to, I asked that he speak louder because of the size of the room. He mumbled louder, but it was just as unclear.
29 I moved in a little closer and said, "One more time." I'm extremely aware that if I go to the well a little too often I run the risk of getting a rep for being the ol' deeef guy, so I figured if the kid wasn't loud enough after that, I'd pretend to hear him, say "Good!" "Yes!" and swiftly move to the next volunteer.
30 He mumbled yet again. I said, "Good, great!" and looked immediately away to another student.
31 As I did, I noticed the first guy whispering to his friend, "He didn't even hear me."
32 Don't ask me how I heard THAT, but I did. I felt bad, but I kept going because the energy was up but the control was perfect. I had to become a bit Machiavellian at that point, knowing full well that the end, in this instance, certainly justified the means. In my mind, that was a true pro workin' the room.
33 After the swift popcorn session, I asked if there were any questions. The room fell silent, which is exactly what I wanted, and I gave them the assignment. One student raised his hand, a kid who was exactly kitty-corner to the guy I ignored.
34 I walked over to him and said, "Yes?" Everyone was now writing quietly.
35 The guy mumbled something, and I moved in closer. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. What was the question?" He mumbled even quieter. I moved in. "I still can't hear you. Can you speak just a little louder?"
36 He didn't, so I moved right up to his desk. "I still didn't hear you. Can you speak just a little louder?"
37 "Your fly's open."
38
39 I looked off to the left and right to see if anyone caught that, and nobody did. This kid had game, as well as my back, but I broke into a huge smile.40 "Well...yes, perfect. I'll take care of that!" I said, and we exchanged knowing smiles. I made my way around the back wall and zipped out the door. I managed a quik repair and was back in the room within a millisec.
41 The kid kept silent, but with a huge grin on his face. I too smiled.
42 New blue jeans. Crazy zipper. It didn't matter. It was a bad dream, but fortunately the kid had some class and didn't tell everyone.
43 At least not with me around. A quick glance around the room let me know that nobody had noticed. You can tell if they had, and clearly they were on task and writing.
44 That kid just kept writing, but with a tough-to-hide grin on his face. I kept my tongue planted firmly in my cheek as the clock ran down.
45 I got online and wrote the DN right then.
46 A day in the life.
47 True story. I lived through it, and couldn't wait to share it.
48 A survival story. Thought you could use a morning laugh.
49 Thanks for listening.
50 Learning by Accident: Lesson one.
51 Peace.
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