IT'S FRYING-PAN TIME!!!!!!!!
1 It's my new name for this time of the year.
2 Okay, so the weather has been cool and collected, which usually takes the edge off.
3 But in education at least, this time of the year is frying-pan time.
4 So named because just about everybody who annoys you needs to be hit in the noggin with a frying pan.
5 I swear to you. In this profession, the last few weeks of school make you want to just knock someone silly with a frying pan.
6 But honestly, I think right about now, if you go up to anybody in any profession and just say, "If one more guy gets on my nerves I'm gonna drop 'em with a frying pan!" the answer will be, "Oh, I KNOW!!!!"
7 This will usually be followed by the other person's description of someone who has been put on this Earth just to annoy, and who definitely needs to get whacked silly with a frying pan.
8 And I don't know about anyone else out there, but there just comes a time when some dunderhead is going to say in all sincerity, "You shoulda done this..."
9
10 It's almost indescribable in this profession, but to a man or woman, anybody you talk to is ready to go ballistic. Traditionally the Seniors temporarily hate anybody who isn't them.
11 Teachers want to make the Seniors suffer ridiculously in retaliation.
12 Bookroom people get revenge on everybody who ever screwed up a book by threatening Seniors with not being able to walk at graduation.
13 Hellzapoppin'.
14 It's explosive, and right when you are ready to scream, someone else walks up and says, "If one more guy gets on my nerves, I'm gonna drop 'em with a frying pan!"
15 And I will instantly calm down and react with, "Oh I KNOW!!!!!"
16 And then you think all sorts of fun thoughts:
17 Uh, yup.
18 And as it approaches the Seniors' last day, it just gets more and more unreal.
19 And it's USUALLY hot, hot, hot. So bless the weather.
20 The pressure's been on anyway, on all fronts.
21 Everybody snaps at everybody, and by the end of the day, they're all drained from sucking the energy out of one another.
22 The Seniors' last day approaches.
23 Friday. They're hanging on for dear life.
24 Some of you might be able to drift back through the gentle mists of time and remember those last few days before you got launched into the graduation practices, the ceremonies, and the absolute unreality of the heat, the madness, the absolute fear, and the holding on to one another like the last people on the high end of the Titanic.
25 The madness takes hold, and they walk into the school bank, or the library to clear a fine, and the second they find something has gone even slightly wrong, they jump and scream so their skulls fly through their flesh, their eyeballs pop out, and they start spitting fire.
26 Frying-pan time.
27 The goody is that by the time they finally reach graduation day, it generally dawns on them that it's an exciting time as well. It all disappears, and they become sweet all over again.
28 Time to put the frying pans down and give a hug.
29 And then, just like that, when the place empties and there's nothing left but the silence, it's done.
30 Every year.
31 Remember.
32 Peace.
~H~
Recent Comments