Nicoley and Caitlin!!!!
Congratulations!!!!!!
The Daily News
Dick Martin of Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In.
1 First things first. CONGRATULATIONS to BOTH my daughters, Caitlin and Nicoley, for BOTH graduating Magna Cum Laude this past Saturday at SJSU's commencement.
2 After a whole bunch of professors marched up to the podium congratuating one another and one another's colleagues on doing a fine job, they finally decided to focus on the graduates themselves two hours in.
3 Always a pleasure watching college graduations. Once the pomposity stopped, so did the Wave, the tortillas flying all over the place, the dignified blow-up shark being tossed about, the beach balls, and the overall drunkenness, which mellowed into the correct focus, which was the students themselves.
4 Anyway, you never saw a prouder dad in your life. It may sound corny, but when I heard Pomp and Circumstance playing, everything else disappeared and I just remembered all the frustrating hours and all-nighters and all the rest. These two deserved it, as did every single...
5 All right, MOST of the graduates up there. We spent the entire weekend in celebration, and will probably carry on for the remainder of the month. I don't care about too much of anything else right now. I intend to throw a citywide party, complete with root beer and whistles, so stay tuned.
6 And now...the news.
7 So...Dick Martin walks into a bar.
8 Who?
9 So...Sydney Pollack walks into a bar. Famous movie director/actor.
10 Speaking of the movies...
11 This weekend stopped the shortest diet I've ever been on, and not a moment too soon. So my diet walks into a bar, points and all...
12 Look.
13 You don't start a diet on the day before a double-graduation, a Senior Ball, AND a trip to see Indiana Jones.
14 As soon as I walk into a movie theater I instantly buy popcorn, WITH butter flavoring, whatever that means.
15 It's that greasy stuff they pour all over it, and which we've called buttered popcorn since they invented the stuff. And you HAVE to have it. It's the law. Popcorn and movies. Love and marriage. Horse and carriage.
16 So I'm sorry, but I'm not going to go see Indiana Jones with my entire family and order re-fillable buckets of broccoli and carrots. Not yet.
17 When we got home, Nicole made one of the most beautiful cakes ever. It was around a thousand layers with all sorts of Disney colors sprinkled through.
18 So dinner the other night consisted of popcorn and cake.
19 That's a million points.
20 Thank God they have Coke Zero.
21 The cake was a sleep cake. You've all had those. Midway through your slice it starts eating you, and so you grab a fresh cup of coffee, which Nicole also made and which was better than any ol' Starbucks, and on completion, you fall into a deep sleep.
22 Anyway, the diet went sailing right out the window.
23 Saturdays. I'm tellin' ya.
24 They graduated at 9:30, or were supposed to. Three hours later, there were still professors talking about how distinguished they were while the crowd of graduates became intolerant, and rightfully so. At some point they need to change their focus at college graduations and save their "distinguishing" for a faculty meeting or a retirement dinner. The graduates, right or wrong, showed their disdain by being rude and ridiculous, but one needs to wonder how it all began in the first place. THEY'RE the ones who should be recognized on that day. Save it. I ain't listenin'.
25 Tradition.
26 If tradition means stubbornly holding onto the thirties, then it's time to let it go.
27 And Saturday night, WE had the Senior Ball downtown at the Corinthian Club, a South Bay version of the Bohemian Club. I brought Caitlin with me to goof on the entire thing, so we celebrated her graduation by going to Prom! We wound up doing one of those semi-all nighters where you go to Carrow's at 3 a.m. and break your diet still more. The grad party is happening in the summer. Citywide, I tellya.
28 Anyway, I kept eating cake and drinking good coffee all day yesterday, so I just now settled in and decided to write the DN at 2:30 a.m. on Tuesday morning.
29 I hope this was plenty o' news!
30 I'm getting tired though, so I think I'll have another slice of Nicoley's scrumptious cake, tank down a little coffee and pass out.
31 I still have a saloon to run.
32 Have a great day, and to my beautiful dottas, all my love this sunny day.
33 Peace, and g'night for a few hours at least.
~H~
12 Look.
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