May 20, 2008
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1 The pitcher in last night's Giant's game is I think in 8th or 9th grade.
2 Big ol' ears.
3 Corn-fed smile.
4 Aw shucks. The guy's name is Pat Misch, and he's a big-leaguer, like his amazing friend Tim Lincecum, whose location is wizardly, but whose hat hides his eyes so he resembles a lanky scarecrow with arms that touch reach right down to the ground.
5 The Kids are Alright.
6 That's All Right for you corrections officers out there.
7 I've become horrendously sloppy in the grammar area the past few months, not that I was ever any great shakes.
8 Alright is the correct misspelling of a song by The Who.
9 AnywayZ (there is no "s" on "anyway" btw) irregardless (it's "regardless"; there is no such word as "irregardless"), the young Giants look like something right out of LIttle League.
10 They chew pink bubblegum instead of chawin' tobacco.
11 Their underpants are starched.
12 Moving on: Well, I'm actually looking at the rungs under me on this Ladder to Success and I'm finding that everyone on their way up tends to be significantly younger than me.
13 Than I.
14 Except Aurelia. He uses Just For Men, the green package.
15 I used to.
16 Now I just glue a prop wig to the rim of my baseball cap and accent my sideburns with a brown marker.
17 No but SERIOUSLY I'm loving getting older and more crotchety, but I believe I've established that already in the past few weeks.
18 Everything irritates me these days, especially when it's hot outside.
19 I literally have to talk myself into not getting irritated by everything lest I become like Old Eagle Eyes.
20 Old Eagle Eyes was this old lady who lived at the base of the street behind my own. We lived in a hilly area of Millbrae, and Old Eagle Eyes' house was at the exact bottom of the street behind our house.
21 Hers was an old grey house with thick curtains that were always closed except when she would pull them slightly aside to stare each time we were outside having fun.
22 She never said a word, never came outside, never yelled at us, but we were convinced she was a mean old crone who was always ready to call the police on us, or worse, who could with a few strange phrases spoken in tongues turn us into warthogs.
23 I just always pictured her standing near the curtains, dressed in dusty rags, silent and strange in her wickedness, and well-governed in her spells. She tried selling her house one time, but I stole her sign. She never tried again; rather, she just aged with the fading grey of her eaves.
24 I just hope I don't get like that, although the influence of Old Eagle Eyes stares down at me like a gargoyle with blazing eyes.
25 Fortunately, the kid in me is much more fun and immediate. The kid who is under the hat of Giants' pitcher Tim Lincecum, the kid who put a nickel back on Howard Cobb's counter, or the kid who on a bet one fateful day stole the For Sale sign off the lawn of Old Eagle Eyes and planted it firmly on the front lawn of Meadows School, to the glee of the entire School Bus that carted us off to high school the following morning.
26 I somehow think there's a lot more of that spirit in me than any amount of crotchetiness, if there even IS such a word.
27 A part of me wants to climb back down the Ladder and hang with what got me there.
28 Just some clouded thoughts on a morning after the night before.
29 I'm guessing the sun will burst through.
30 Have a lovely day.
31 Peace.
~H~
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