May 11, 2008
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1 I hope all you moms out there and all your moms had a nice Mother's Day.
2 I went into the supermarket yesterday and saw big, brawny, scary dudes standing in line with flowers and cards for their moms. There were around six of them standing in line. Half of them had tattoos and gold teeth. I think they were Pirate Wench sons, but it was still pretty darned endearing.
3 Tattooed muscleheads holding pink items. Sweet.
4 Can't miss.
5 Anyway, it just sort of melts the old ticker to see that sort of thing.
6 Naturally, I claim to have the best mom around.
7 Except, of course, for your mom.
8 Moving on: As much as I claim to hate Carl's Jr., it's all a ruse. I claim I hate Carl's Jr. because it's so ridiculously fattening and bad for you. Here, have a heart attack:
Yum!
9 But I work about three scissors steps away from a Carl's Jr. and I have a confession to make: they're by far the best fast hamburger joint around.
10 I know, I know.
11 In 'n' Out fans would argue, and with a pretty good case.
12 But I associate In 'n' Out with Southern California, which I also associate with the Dodgers and Republicans. I'm very ADD, and the remainder of this DN will demonstrate that. Anyway, I was told at a very young age that Dodgers are Bums, and that most Repubz are insensitive to the needs of the masses, that they're greedy, thoughtless, Earth-hating warmongers and probably closet Nazis.
'
13 I'm getting better, but that's the reality. I was born an FDR democrat, and then a JFK one, and had nothing to say about being born a Giants' fan.
14 In the process I came to show nothing but disdain for all things SoCal, with the possible exceptions of Santa Barbara, San Diego, and Disneyland. Oh, and all the beaches. And just to stay out of trouble, all the colleges except USC.
15 All apologies to our southern neighbors. There's just this hideous prejudice that was ingrained in me from birth.
16 Smog, Dodgers, Repubz, traffic jams, Greed, Vanity and extremely shallow people, this stuff was SERIOUS where I grew up.
17 Most of it, of course, has changed, but a kid born in San Francisco even attempting to say anything from L.A. is remotely good is essentially the same as a "recovering" Catholic saying that many church practices and beliefs are no more real than Greek myths.
18 Something like that.
19 There's always the voices. And there's always the guilt. But most of all, there's always the fear. I could no more begin to say good things about L.A. than I could question the loaves and the fishes. I just can't bring myself to do that.
20 Anyway, that was a roundabout way of saying I actually like Carl's Jr. better than In 'n' Out, or any other fast food hamburger joint, for that matter. As I stated earlier, I'm classic ADD. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Okay, back to Carl's Jr.
21 The entire reason I brought this up is because I love the commercial where that guy is munching down a CJ burger, complete with onions and tears, when his wife nags him from the other room. He has just bitten into an onion and has tears pouring down his face.
22 His wife thinks she has reached him and tells him to get over it, that he can stay home, watch the game, and not visit her relatives. The narrator then says, "Sometimes it's okay for a guy to cry..."
23 It came on just as I started the DN last night.
24 I had already begun writing about Mother's Day and all when that commercial came on.
25 And as I was writing the end of today's DN, that Wendy's commercial came on where Wendy animates.
26 The first time I saw that, I thought I was watching The Exorcist XIV: The Chuckying of Wendy.
27 It's the one where her head almost 360's trying to look at the moon. All right, so she just glances up, but the first time I saw that, it FELT like she was a spinner.
28 Wendy should just not move.
29 Ever.
30 Anything I left out?
31 It's Monday.
32 Fly low.
33 Peace.
~H~
Peace.
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