April 1, 2008
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The Daily News
and the continued almost daily recording of the Decline of Western Civilization...
1 I looked in the paper the other day and it looks like ignoring the news for a week didn't change too much of anything.
2 The Giants haven't gotten any better but hey, it's baseball season, and at least sports' fans have enjoyed a great Warriors' season, and Sharks' fans have had an absolute feast. And just maybe baseball will be clean this season.
3 I still love baseball, and despite all, I got myself a new Giants' hat and I'm going to jump into the season just because despite it's best efforts to shoot itself in the foot, it's still baseball, and it's still my good friend.
4 So...uh...what else has happened while we were out?
5 The political candidates continue to fight it out despite huge gaffes on each camp. That's changed a lot since I was a kid.
6 Television continues to astonish with it's plunge into tackiness with some new show called (I think) Dance Off With Your Pants Off, something like that. The room was channel surfing on Saturday night and this show came on. It was astoundingly tacky.
7 It had people literally competing in shaking their butts at the camera, and then bragging obnoxiously at how they were going to beat the competition, followed by brash, loud reasons.
8 What would Hemingway have reported?
9 I glanced up and looked over my glasses at what looked to me like the Decline of Western Civilization. I'd love to include "as we know it" in there somewhere but it would just be wasted words.
10 What else?
11 Dr. Pepper has offered every single person in the United States a free Dr. Pepper if Guns 'N' Roses finishes composing and then releases an album they've been working on for 17 years. The name of the album is purportedly Chinese Democracy.
12 Some guy named Jaxie Alt, who is the Director of Marketing for Dr. Pepper, had this to say about it: "...we completely understand and empathize with Axl's quest for perfection--for something more than the average album. We know once it's released, people will refer to it as 'Dr. Pepper for the ears' because it will be such a refreshing blend of rich, bold sounds--an instant classic."
13 Uh...Jaxie, I think not. Something about a guy whose first name has an "X" in it leads me to believe you're a nut case, all due respect.
13 That tidbit came to me from Saturday's Merc News. It rests on its own laurels. A shining example of why everything.
14 On that same page there was an article of some guy who was arrested for involuntary manslaughter when they found his wife's dead body with two alligator clips on her breasts and stripped wires going from the clips to an on/off switch.
15 How is that involuntary? The image alone is right out of CSI.
16 Who are you?
17 We had some update of a reality show that has a girl stumbling around at a party and then throwing up into a toilet.
18 When did it all start to head south? At what point in life did all of this begin? How did we not notice?
19 In the midst of all of this was my birthday, in which I turned 32 and fit a size-two shoe.
20 Many thanks to everybody who somehow found out and sent me good wishes. Honestly, I have usually tried to slip into a cave for that one but I really do appreciate all the people who somehow found out and sent me the warm wishes.
21 It gave me grandiose hope for Western Civilization to know there are still class acts out there making the world a better place.
22 Felt grand, really.
23 And after all, we still have the Warriors, Sharks, and Baseball's annual arrival, which reminds us that it's okay to enjoy the peaceful rivers and blossoms of Spring, and that even our water supply is up to 97% capacity, so when we see rivers and streams, green hills with yellow wildflowers, and hear a ball smacking a glove on a swift slide, we could look up and thank the good Lord that Dance Off With Your Pants Off is really just a kindly Cosmic Joke, and get on with it.
24 It's Spring, and the world is mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful, at least according to my good friend e.e. cummings.
25 Somehow look up and see hope in a passing cloud today.
26 See ya soon.
27 Missed you.
28 Peace.
~H~
http://www.xanga.com/bharrington
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