Month: February 2008

  •  money 1 money shot

    The Daily News

      xanga 14 blue

    xanga 11 lights

    xanga 3 sky

    1  In all my infinite wisdom I forgot to let y'all know that two times in the past week Evelyn has sent me info on Arsenic and Old Lace and should definitely take a lot of the credit for getting me into the show. I had finally recovered from a wretched week of exhaustion when Angie's e-mail came, but all week I meant to write Evelyn back and to thank her for letting me know about the show.

    2  I say this simply because I didn't acknowledge her in yesterday's DN and I darned well should have.

    3  Haha, thanks d00d!

    4  And thanks for all of that triggering lots of memories in the past two days. Yesterday Jenny and Jeff came by and we talked of some good times in the Theatre, and even took a nostalgic ride past the YB Theatre.

    5  We pulled into the parking lot for a second and I saw the Theatre, which hasn't changed a bit from the outside. I was hoping someone would be in there rehearsing but alas! Nobody.

    6  As we pulled out of the parking lot, I looked up and saw the teevee camera that is now poised ominously on the corner of the roof that faces the parking lot.

    7  Weird.

    8  More "safety" from the boyz who wish to scare the pants off everybody.

    9  I thought of getting myself, Jose, Ray, Sunshine, Sparky and Peter and dressing in all black, throwing ropes with hooks over the bricks, and moving to the roof in the blackness.

    10  At a given moment we could take out black spray cans and sneak up behind the teevee cameras.

    11 Within seconds we could spray out the lens, open the door we've never opened on the roof, and rappel to the stage.

    12  From that point there would be mischief afoot.

    13  Gels, lights, CD's, mirror balls and pure joy would fill the place.

    14  The Grateful Dead would be alive again, Goin' Down the Road Feelin' Bad. Jose could get on the mic and do some Chevelle live.

    maha 6 umbrellas

    15  I could break out Annabel and begin some guitar tunes, beginning with Good Riddance by Greenday.

    16  For what it's worth it was worth it all the while.

    17  Sing Yellow, Landslide and finally Your Song, just sweetly while the mirror ball gently spins. Memories will light up in each reflection.

    18  And after around ten more, we would bring it all home with the immortal In My Life.

    19  And all the spirits of all the people who have enjoyed a show or two in that Theatre could rise up and celebrate.

    20  I miss the Theatre.

    21  I miss all of you.

    22  I'm taking off for Reno today, Rocha and me are. This is the last DN for this week.

    23  We both miss all of you.

    24  Meanwhile enjoy the thoughts and the memories.

    25  It's a nice night for it.

    xanga 2 rain

    26  Nice memories.

    27  All these places have their moments.

    28  Love the moments.

    29  See you soon.

    30  Peace.

    ~H~

     

    cool guy

    http://www.xanga.com/bharrington

     

  •  

     

    The Daily News

    arsenic 2 hirschfeld

    "Arsenic and Old Lace"
    (Jan. 12, 1941) John Alexander, Boris Karloff, Helen Brooks, Allyn Joslyn, Josephine Hull and Jean Adair of "Arsenic and Old Lace."

    Drama news: I just got an e-mail from the illustrious Angie Higgins yesterday reminding me that Northside Theatre Company presents Arsenic and Old Lace this Thursday, Friday and Saturday and next Thursday, Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m. and Sundays both weekends at 3 p.m. in the Olinder Center on William Street. Here is the proper news release:

    Northside Theatre Company
    proudly presents
    Arsenic and Old Lace

    by Joseph Kesselring
    Directed by R. Michael Price

    Featuring: Kezia Radke, Steven Lewis, Doll Piccotto, Jerry Hitchcock, Jeff Paulson, Erik Browne, Angie Higgins, Michael Champlin, Rob Snevely, Ricky Dilley, Christian Pizzirani, Tony DiCorti.

    Located at Olinder Center in the
    Black Box Theatre
    848 E. William Street
    San Jose, CA. 95116
    (at 18th Street)

    WHEN: February 14 - March 9, 2008

    Thursdays-Saturdays @ 8pm, Sundays @ 3pm

    arsenic 1 northside current production

    Ticket Prices

    $15 General Admission
    $12 Seniors 62+ and young people under the age of 18

    For more information or to purchase tickets online, go to the following link: 

     http://www.northsidetheatre.com/website/ntc.html

    2  I directed Arsenic many years ago and loved every second of working on it! It's a classic if ever there were a classic and is everything a good comedy should be. The show used to be a staple of all theatre companies, and I had wanted to make sure that in my directing experience, I would be able to enjoy working with this time-honored show.

    3  I think my favorite moment involving our 1990 production was when we began curtain call with two guys from the original Drama Workshop coming out of the cellar, or Teddy's Panama Canal, to take a curtain call.

    4  Two original members of the very first Workshop production of Silents, Mike Maldonado and Keith Ancar, appeared on the stage after the tag line, dressed as though they had been buried in the storied Arsenic cellar. Standing at center stage after the last line of the play, they appeared dusty, bewildered and disoriented.  They each took a bow, Mike first, then Keith. They moved off to the side, and soon eleven other "bodies" came out of the basement and also took bows.

    5  At first the audience gave a courtesy clap, as though they might have missed something, since neither of Mike nor Keith had appeared in the performance. Mike looked lost, and Keith presented an Amish appearance of sobriety and solemnity. It unfolded perfectly. Each fellow gave a mannerly and dignified bow. 

    6  It was only after the eleven other bodies (the tech class dressed as old men!) came up that the audience realized these were the guys that the two old aunts had been killing with elderberry wine laced with arsenic all evening. 

    7  As the last "corpse" crossed down center, the cast came out and began the real curtain call, and the audience responded with instant laughter and a thundering ovation. The absolute off-the-wall surprise ending lit up the night and everyone went home with a classic Drama Workshop memory!

    8  Anyone who was there that night will remember the flowers and smiles after that performance. Both Mike and Keith had shown up to watch the show, but I quickly kidnapped them and being great sports and classic tech tricksters, they both joined in, making a memorable night for all. Good times, good times in the good ol' theatre.

    9  There are hundreds of such moments in the annals of the Drama Workshop, and thousands of moments of memorable tech days, rehearsals, performance nights, and anecdotes.

    10  And it's good to see that companies are still doing Arsenic. This macabre and hilarious comedy from the 40's went on to become a perennial audience favorite wherever it has played.

    11  Historically the show went on to become a classic 1944 film directed by Frank Capra and starring Cary Grant as Mortimer Brewster. The rest of the cast was a virtual who's who of great character actors from that period. Here is a cast list of the film Arsenic and Old Lace:

    arsenic 6 film poster


    Cary Grant... Mortimer Brewster
    Josephine Hull... Aunt Abby Brewster
    Jean Adair... Aunt Martha Brewster
    Raymond Massey... Jonathan Brewster

    Peter Lorre... Dr. Herman Einstein
    Priscilla Lane... Elaine Harper
    John Alexander... Theodore Brewster

    Jack Carson... Officer Patrick O'Hara
    John Ridgely... Officer Saunders
    Edward McNamara... Police Sgt. Brophy
    James Gleason... Lt. Rooney
    Grant Mitchell... Reverend Harper

    Edward Everett Horton... Mr. Witherspoon
    Vaughan Glaser... Judge Cullman
    Chester Clute... Dr. Gilchrist

    arsenic 4 cast pic 1944 Frank Capra film
    A rare cast photo from the Peter Lorre collection. This
    picture was taken on set and copies were
    distributed to each cast member. This is a copy
    of Peter Lorre's personal photo.

    I lifted this picture from the book

    The Lost One: A Life of Peter Lorre
    By Stephen D. Youngkin

    12  As with anything, given the chance of seeing the film or a live production, I would always take the live performance. Arsenic has so many wacky characters that watching a fellow who thinks he is Teddy Roosevelt blowing a horn, yelling "Charge!" and running upstairs can't miss for live theatre. The fact that he thinks he is digging the Panama Canal when in fact he is digging graves for his aunts' rather peculiar hobby adds a deeper dimension to the entire live experience.

    13  Northside has been staging quality theatre for over thirty years now and if you haven't seen a production, it's high time you did.

    14  I love this show and I am thrilled to devote an entire DN to its promotion.

    15  ...not to mention that Christian, Angie, Jeff and others who have worked with our very own Drama Workshop will be appearing in the production.

    16  I won't be in town this weekend, but if you are in town, you should find a night to go to the Olinder Center on the edge of William Street Park and enjoy one of the best shows you'll ever see.

    17  I hope you all get a chance to see this rare and wonderful show. And if those guys are in the cast, it should a slam dunk.

    18  That's it for today.

    19   I'll throw one more DN at you this week and then I'm going to be gone to Reno for a four-day convention. Seems I was just up there!

    20  Meanwhile, work your way over to the Olinder Center this weekend.

    21  Insanity runs through the show, that I promise.

    22  In fact, it practically gallops.

    23  Enjoy your day.

    24  Peace.

    ~H~

     

    cool guy

    http://www.xanga.com/bharrington

     

     

     

  •  

     The Daily News
     
    H 11 vacation!

    1  All right, all right. So the word "Daily" in the Daily News is a misnomer.

    2  The two weeks going into this Winter Break made up for all of that.

    3  I kept getting home really late at night. By the time I got home, Lindsay Lohan had already put her clothes back on.

    4  I jumped up to Tahoe for a few days.

    H 7 postcard emerald bay dawn

    5  And somewhere in the middle of all of that stuff I threw another Xanga out there.

    dn 8 astrology
    6  SO fun!

    7  The fun thing about having a little time off was that it gave my marbles a chance to align.

    8  My eyes had become Crazy Eyes, just like the teevee show.

    9  That's supposed to be something that affects females only, but lemme tellya. 

    10  I had hit a stride in which I had overbooked my entire universe.

    11  Anyway, I had the Crazy Eyes and that little break came none too soon. I think I got my heart back, and not a moment too soon.

    dn 7 crazy eyes

    12  Moving on: The other night the internet kept going out, so now I'm concerned about being able to get the DN out there. I started this one a few nights ago and then couldn't get back online.

    13  In my business, I LIVE on the internet. It felt strange not having info at my fingertips.

    14  Like the other day some radio show reported that all apples and oysters are cloned. The guy was all matter-of-fact about it and I wanted to find out a little more.

    15  But with the internet out, I went into the shakes.

    16  I couldn't find out the info I needed to share with you.

    17  As far as I know, oysters and apples are not cloned, but I thought I'd go to the grocery store yesterday to find out.

    18  Well, since I was so ADD, I walked in not really knowing who to ask about cloned food, when I wandered into the pancake aisle, where I met up with Mrs. Butterworth.

    19  Oooooh! Shiny...

    dn 4 mrs
    dn 4 mrsdn 4 mrs

    20  Next thing I know I'm loading up my cart with fictitious wimminz: Mrs. Butterworth, Aunt Jemima, Mrs. Fields, Marie Calender, you get the drift.

    dn 2 aunt jemima
    dn 2 aunt jemimadn 2 aunt jemima

    21  I looked into my basket and decided it had too much unhealthy stuff. I usually check out how unhealthy the guy in front of me is, so I put all that stuff back and got fresh cold fruit, orange juice, egg beaters, bananas, strawberries, and some packages of turkey fillets that normally go for like about $100 a pound, but that were marked down for a quick sale.

    22  I put all the wimminz back because of their caloric content. I was deathly worried about what the beat-red clerk would think about my eating habits.

    dn 1 step in time

    23  The guy in front of me had a half case of Newcastle. This was at like eight in the morning. He looked like a chimney sweep from Mary Poppins. I kept goofing on him turning around and saying, "G'day gov'nuh. Owigh see yer atin' 'ealthy. Ahm gonna 'ave me a few pauprz and thayn ah maht join yerz, ah maht!"

    24  Step in time, step in time, step in time, step in time, never have a reason never have a rhyme step in time, step in time...

    25  Ya gotta love being ADD. I went through the line sans the wimminz and felt MIGHTY proud that I was getting all that healthy stuff, AND that whoever was in line knew it, snoopy bastard.

    dn 8 jughead

    26  I goof on what other people are thinking of my purchases all the time. I also judge what the guy in front of me is getting. I don't often goof on what the guy behind me is getting unless he's some guy who has one thing and I have around six million things, five million of which are usually impulse buys like Jughead comics, and horoscope scrolls, for example. I'll usually let the guy go ahead, unless he's an obvious impatient prick.

    dn 9 astrology

    27  Ah, anyway, where was I?

    28  Oh yeah, ADD. I've been a lifelong addict.

    29  Ooooh.

    30  Shiny.

    31  Good to be back.

    32  It's Monday, fly low.

    dn 9 wright

    33   And smile.

    34   Peace.

    ~H~
     
    snow 5 bear
     

    cool guy

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  •  

    red bull 6 clarity and vision

    red bull 7 bush as stooge

    red bull 5 clarity and vision

     tahoe

     The Daily News

    1  Reports are coming in slowly that the Drama Club at YB got off a Fall show right around Halloween. That came as a surprise to me because I check MySpace frequently, and I don't recall much being said in the bulletin.

    2  So my resources tell me that they have a new director, and that they're in between shows trying to figure out which way to go. There's also talk of a musical in the works, but beyond that it's pretty foggy. I'll keep you posted.

    3  Wow, the year is flying by.

    4  This will be the last DN for an entire week! We get a Winter Break, which used to be Washington's Birthday, then it was Lincoln's birthday, then it combined both into Presidents' Birthday, and now it's Winter Break, an entire week with nothin' to do.

    red bull 8 monocle

    5  I know it sounds nice to about 90% of the people out there, but truth be told, those breaks in the school year can be really disruptive to businesses, schoolwork, and even DN readers.

    6  It's also the end of the roughest part of the year on someone in my line. We have all  wrestling, basketball, Talent Shows, Fashion Shows, and blah blah blah. Bottom line is that suddenly it all stops, and it's remarkable.

    7  I'm headed for Tahoe. Dunno why, but it oughta be nice. Just 'til Tuesday night.

    8  That's plenty considering how busy it's been.

    9  I couldn't think to do the DN with the clarity and vision I woulda liked.

    red bull 2 red bull

    10  But this will be a nice.

    11  Already I'm drifting off to some Disney commercial.

    12  It sorta works, in the long run.

    13  Clarity and vision.

    14 That was a bit of a lousy joke ya know.

    15   I just saw a Red Bull ad where two cartoon figures are jumping all over each other in bed.

    red bull 3 red bull

    16  I still can't believe what I just saw.

    17  What would the children look like?

    18  Welp, that's clarity and vision for you.

    19  I think I'll take off for around a week, cool my jets in Tahoe, and then come back to utter madness.

    20   I'm surrounded by idiots.

    red bull 9 idiot 

    21   You guys hang in there. Life without the DN can get pretty weird.

    22   Meanwhile, wish me luck.

    23   The same to you.

    24    Live life; love life.

    25    Peace.

    ~H~

     

    cool guy

    http://www.xanga.com/bharrington

     

     

     

     

     

  •   val 4 deer

     The Daily News

    val 5 film

    1  Did you know that buffalo, elk, ostrich and venison are okayed on the Weight Watchers point system?

    2  Imma go out and git me some elk.

    3  Every now and again ya gotta throw down.

    4  Ah, it's still fat season.

    5  The other day I wandered into our dance studio.

    6  Ever walk into a dance studio?

    7  You see yourself the way the world sees you, and to me, it just ain't purty.

    val 3 ostrich

    8  Worst thing ever invented.

    9  Mirrors.

    10  Reflections.

    11  Moving on: Arg. It just occurred to me that it's Valentine's Day.

    12  My students were selling roses yesterday.

    13  They sold them from my office, so I got to see some of the most striking things.

    14  I saw the biggest, baddest guys walk in sheepishly and get all nervous when they were buying them.

    15  One guy who was hesitant finally laid the money down for a beautiful red rose, and had forgotten to put his name on the poem he had written for the girl.

    16  As he was leaving, one of the sellers said, "Did you want to put anonymous on this?"

    17  The poor guy hesitated for around fifteen seconds, and then shouted, "Yes..." and took off almost in tears.

    18  And the best one: we have a young teacher who has been working there for only  a couple of weeks, and his wife called one of the gals at the front, and got him a rose he'll be receiving tomorrow during fifth period.

    19  Ah, Valentines!

    val 2 elk

    20  Those of you who hate it and see it as unbearable, just fly low today.

    21  Everything can get unbearable on Valentine's Day, and to many, it's the cruelest of all the "occasions".

    22  Just put up with it. It'll blow over.

    23  Appreciate yourself, and love who you are.

    24  And know you can love everyone.

    25  There's nothing you can do that can't be done...

    26   Peace.

    ~H~

     

    cool guy

    http://www.xanga.com/bharrington

  •  The Daily News

    idiot 1 sign

    1  So I was supposed to be boycotting teevee until the strike was over, but the other day I thought they had already settled. I was wrong, and clearly should never have given the Grammys the time of day.

    2  It managed to get good reviews, somehow.

    3  Pure trash.

    Moving on: I'm getting pretty crabby in my old age. In the past two days I've been in the face of two people already, and yesterday I thought I was gonna do a hat trick.

    5  The beauty part of working so hard is that when things go awry, you are generally right.

    6  Nothing, really but two days in a row where someone walked into my world and became the village idiot.

    7  My strength as a person is that when the village idiot gets up in my face, I pie 'em.

    idiot 3 alfred

    8  This person just needed to understand that I was a little displeased.

    9  I used to fire off a couple of power drills through the theater walls, just to keep people honest.

    10  But I've mellowed with age.

    11  Unless it's the village idiot.

    12  I have subtle ways of letting people know when I'm displeased.

    idiot 2 gorilla

    13  Like starting their hair on fire with a gaze.

    14  I'm quite certain the person probably discovered the error of their ways.

    15  What you don't do is come storming into my office and telling me the way everything is going to be.

    16   Nope.

    17  I'll launch just a little attitude in kind. Always in kind.

    18  Are you kind?

    19  I should say...

    20  That's all the grousing I'm gonna do today.

    21  Some people just need to get pied.

    22   Pie someone today.

    23   Peace.

    ~H~

     

    cool guy

    http://www.xanga.com/bharrington

     

  •  The Daily News

    tom 1 lantos

    1  So Tom Lantos walks into a bar....

    2  Lantos was a fighter and champion for human rights, and his voice will be sorely missed. Rest easy Mr. Lantos; the world needs voices like yours.

    3   Moving on:   I don't remember my Bible too well, but today I brought up the concept of temptation as a classic theme in literature. I asked for examples of great stories of temptation, and a student brought up Adam and Eve.

    4  He told the entire story of the Lord creating the Garden of Eden, and giving Adam and Eve everything they could possibly want to love life and to live eternally happy.

    5  Their only restriction was that they were not to eat the fruit of the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.

    6  Go figure.

    7  Well, enter a serpent who snakes down from the tree and tempts Eve into going for it.

    8  Being human, she caves to the temptation. Adam follows suit.

    9  The Lord finds out, throws a hissy fit and boots the naked couple out of the Garden.

    dore 1 adam and eve driven from the garden
    Gustav Dore: Adam and Eve Driven from the Garden

    10  Now this is the kicker: if I'm not mistaken, that's why snakes have to crawl around why we have to work for the rest of our lives. It's also why wimminz have to suffer with childbirth.

    11  Woe is we.

    12  From this story, we go to school for the first part of our lives, then go on to school or immediately begin working. Either way, we seem doomed to have to work for the rest of our lives.

    13  Whew. AND we're all born with Original Sin.

    14  I'm thoroughly convinced that Original Sin eventually became the cheescake at Original Joe's.

    15  Sin.

    16  Tsk, tsk.

    17   If only those two had just shagged instead of caving to temptation we might all be eternally young, beautiful, and a buncha loafers.

    18  Snakes would walk upright. Babies would just pop out like bubbles in a tub. And we'd all just hang out.

    19  It all coulda been so simple.

    20  Ah, whatcha gonna do.

    21  I always thought Adam and Eve got sort of a bum rap.

    22  I mean, why were there contingencies to begin with?

    23  Well?

    24   Somebody had to ask.

    25   That's about it.

    26   I just had a bad day and had to find somewhere to take our my frustrations.

    27  Thanks for listening.

    28   Fly low today.

    29   Peace.

    ~H~

     

    cool guy

    http://www.xanga.com/bharrington

     

     

  •  The Daily News

    jaws 1 scheider

    1  So...Roy Scheider walks into a bar...

    2  Ah, you knew that one was comin'.

    3  The Grammy's last night did a "tribute" to the Beatles. To me, it proved that Paul is clearly dead. They blew up a volkswagen, then had fire and all sorts of things, and then after the song, no Paul. No Ringo. No nothing.

    4   Great tribute, nice shootin'.

    5   They had a better tribute on KGO yesterday morning. The host was interviewing some guy who was an expert on Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. He talked about how the Beatles weren't just a band, but avatars who brought Eastern philosophy and teachings to the Western world, and taught spirituality and respect for the power of real love.

    6  Idealistic, yes, but in many ways true.

    7  Not sure what the Grammy's were about, but then, I never really did.

    8  Right after the tribute with no Paul or Ringo or even George Martin, they did some robotic stuff that made utterly no sense, followed by more people floating around to cheap raps.

    9  THEN they suddenly had some award for best something and the Beatles' LOVE album, the Cirque du Soliel album produced by George Martin and his son suddenly WON, and out of nowhere, Ringo appeared, and then George Martin, followed by a cut to Yoko sitting in the crowd.

    20  WTF?

    21  Nobody told me there'd be days like these.

    22  And THAT ladies and genteelmen, is exactly why I never review awards shows.

    23  Moving On, Because You Just Have To, Dept:I just hid into a nice You Tube night of watching the 1951 Shot Heard 'Round the World, a small Ken Burns Baseball piece about the Giants' miracle finish to beat the Dodgers in a playoff best-of-three series, culminating in a pennant-winning home run by Bobby Thompson of the Giants. Russ Hodges' famous call of "The Giants win the pennant! The Giants' win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant!" etc. was a part of the treat, as well as the entire post-game celebration. And in my opinion, the best part of all of it was watching the Dodgers walking slowly out of the Polo Grounds.

    Bobby Thomson
    The celebration in New York, 1951. Giants' fans
    went berserk
    .

    24  Baseball.

    25  I gotta tellya.

    26  Naturally going to the past was going to put this entire scandalous era to rest once and for all, and is there a better moment of fpure baseball than that one?

    27

    28  Uh...it wasn't?

    29  My conspiracy team has dug up some dirt on one of the greatest moments in the history of sports. There's ample evidence to suggest that Thompson AND the Giants cheated in order to win the pennant.

    30  The story goes like this: during the run for the pennant in 1951 the Giants placed Herman Franks (later to become a Giants' manager) out in center field with a telescope. Franks had a series of buttons and bells wired up to the Giants' dugout, and he would "telegraph" the catcher's signals to the pitcher. Those signals would let the people in the dugout relay what sort of pitch was coming to the batter.

    31  Thompson evidently knew from the get go that Pitcher Ralph Branca was going to try to challenge him with a fastball, a mistake Branca had already made with Thompson four previous times during the season.

    32  Ah the boys of summer.

    33  Can't wait.

    34  Spring is in the air, and I'm ready for the coming season.

    35  For you sports fans out there, I have added a special sports' feature in today's DN. It's a piece from ESPN regarding cheating in baseball through the years. Hope you enjoy it.

    36  Meanwhile, I'm gonna slip under the radar and enjoy this beautiful spring day in mid-February. The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful, and so are you.

    37  Peace.

    ~H~

     

    cool guy

    http://www,xanga.com/bharrington

     

    Daily News Sports Special:

    ESPN Readers List of the

    Biggest Cheaters in Baseball!

    **************************
    All You Need is Glove

    Few sports spawn as many cheaters as baseball, so Page 2 presents the 10 biggest cheaters in baseball history.

    This could also be called the worst cheaters because the best cheaters are the ones we don't know about who still haven't been caught.

    Take a look at our list, then read how our readers ranked the biggest cheaters of all time. And be sure to vote in the poll to crown the No. 1 cheater in baseball history.

    1. New York Giants (1951)

    Bobby Thomson
    Bobby Thomson is mobbed by his Giants' teammates after hitting the "shot heard 'round the world."
    Last year, the Giants admitted they had an elaborate sign-stealing system in place at the Polo Grounds in 1951. Did it help them erase the 13½-game lead the Dodgers had in August? Did Bobby Thomson know what Ralph Branca was throwing when he hit his "Shot heard around the world?" Those questions are unanswerable, even by Thomson, who exhibited Clintonesque qualities when questioned by the Wall Street Journal. "I'd have to say more no than yes," he said, then equivocated some more before finally saying that no, he didn't steal the sign for that pitch.

    But there's no doubt that the Giants cheated. Coach Herman Franks would sit in the Giants clubhouse, conveniently located past center field, and use a telescope to read the catcher's signs. He'd then set off a bell or buzzer in the Giants bullpen that would identify the next pitch, and a relay man would signal it in to the hitter.

    2. John McGraw (3B, SS, OF, Orioles, Cardinals, Giants, 1891-1906)
    In the field, wrote Geoffrey C. Ward and Ken Burns in "Baseball: An Illustrated History," the 155-pound McGraw "held far bigger base runners back by the belt, blocked them, tripped them, spiked them -- and rarely complained when they did the same to him." He was known to grab onto runners belts as they were rounding third, and grab the belt loops of runners tagging up at third. "He uses every low and contemptible method that his erratic brain can conceive to win a play by a dirty trick," wrote one reporter.

    3. Gaylord Perry (pitcher, Giants, Indians, Rangers, Padres, Yankees, Braves, Mariners, Royals, 1962-1983)
    Perry, a Hall-of-Famer, compiled his 314-265 record on the wings of a Vaseline ball. He'd stand on the mound, touching his cap or his sleeve, either loading up the ball or trying to convince batters he was doing so. In 1982, he became one of the very few pitchers to be suspended for doctoring the ball.

    Gene Tenace, who was Perry's catcher with the Padres, said the ball was sometimes so loaded he couldn't throw it back to the mound. Indians president Gabe Paul defended Perry: "Gaylord is a very honorable man," he said. "He only calls for the spitter when he needs it."

    4. Albert Belle (OF, DH, Indians, White Sox, Orioles, 1989-2000)

    Albert Belle
    Albert Belle reportedly used more cork than a vintner.
    On July 15, 1994, Belle's bat was confiscated by umpire Dave Phillips after White Sox manager Gene Lamont voiced his suspicion that the bat was corked. The Indians knew it was corked, and set out to replace the bat, which Phillips had put in his locker. During the game, Indians pitcher Jason Grimsley wriggled through a crawl space above the ceiling above the umpires' locker room, dropped through an escape hatch, and replaced the corked model with a conventional one. "My heart was going 1,000 miles a second," said Grimsley. "I just rolled the dice, a crapshoot."

    But the caper was easily found out -- the faux Belle model Grimsley had put in Phillips locker had Paul Sorrento's name on it. Belle was suspended for seven games. In his autobiography, released just a few weeks ago, former Belle teammate Omar Vizquel wrote about the "Batgate" incident: "I can be naive at times, but I'm not stupid. Certainly not stupid enough to steal Albert's corked bat and replace it with one that looked completely different -- one that was autographed by Paul Sorrento. That wasn't even a nice try. The problem, of course, was that all of Albert's bats were corked."

    5. Joe Niekro (pitcher, Cubs, Padres, Tigers, Braves, Astros , Yankees, Twins, 1967-1988)
    Aug. 3, 1987: Niekro's on the mound in Anaheim, pitching for the Twins against the Angels. He throws a slider that breaks the laws of physics. When plate umpire Tim Tschida visits the mound to have a look, an emery board flies out of Niekro's pocket. Niekro's also carrying a small piece of sandpaper "contoured to fit a finger," according to second base ump Steve Palermo.

    Niekro's ejected and suspended for 10 days. "The guy was so blatant," said Palermo. "It was like a guy walking down the street carrying a bottle of booze during Prohibition." Niekro denied any wrongdoing, arguing that as a knuckleballer, he needed the emery board to file his fingernails. And the sandpaper? "Sometimes I sweat a lot, and the emery board gets wet," he explained. "And I'll also use the paper for small blisters."

    6. Whitey Ford (pitcher, Yankees, 1950-67)

    Whitey Ford
    Whitey Ford got help from mud, gunk and catchers.
    Ford used his wedding ring to cut the ball, or had catcher Elston Howard put a nice slice in it with a buckle on his shin guard. Ford also planted mud pies around the mound and used them to load the ball. He confessed that when pitching against the Dodgers in the 1963 World Series, "I used enough mud to build a dam." He also threw a "gunk ball," which combined a mixture of baby oil, turpentine, and resin. He kept the "gunk" in a roll-on dispenser, which, the story goes, Yogi Berra once mistook for deodorant, gluing his arms to his sides in the process.

    7. The Bossard Family (groundskeepers, Cleveland Indians, Chicago White Sox, 1920s-present)
    When Gene Bossard, who took care of the Comiskey Park field from 1940-83, died in 1998 at age 80, he knew that his legacy of altering the field to the White Sox's advantage would continue through his son, Roger, who followed him as head groundskeeper. According to his Sun-Times obit, "The Comiskey Park infield once was known as 'Bossard's Swamp' because he kept it watered down for sinkerball pitchers Dick Donovan, Tommy John and Joel Horlen. He also soaked the area around first base when opposing base stealers came to town, and he kept the baselines raised so that Nellie Fox's bunts stayed fair."

    In 1999, Roger told The Seattle Times that his grandfather, Emil, a groundskeeper for the Cleveland Indians in the 1920s and 1930s, would move Cleveland's portable fences back 12-15 feet when the Yankees visited, taking away their power advantage.

    But Dad, Bossard said, was the great innovator. "He invented frozen baseballs in 1967. He and Eddie Stanky (manager of the White Sox). We had three pitchers that year -- Tommy John, Joel Horlen and Gary Peters -- and that was our whole team. We had no offense. In the bowels of the old stadium my dad had an old room where the humidifier was constantly going. By leaving the balls in that room for 10 to 14 days, they became a quarter to a half ounce heavier."

    And Gene passed on the family know-how. "In 1971 or '72, when Chuck Tanner was our manager, we played Oakland during their dynasty," Roger said. "Chuck said, 'Make sure Billy North doesn't steal a base.' First time, Wilbur Wood walks North on four pitches. Everyone knows he's going to steal. He took a step and a half, but we had doctored the baseline, and he fell to his knees. Our catcher threw to first and tagged him out. Me and my dad had a big smile. But they still beat us by eight runs."

    During the 1993 playoffs, Toronto's Rickey Henderson fell just short of accusing the youngest Bossard of doing all he could to make Comiskey slow. "These basepaths are soft. Tim Raines has, what, 17 stolen bases (really 21)? Well, you know the field's messed up. He told me he can't run on this stuff. You slip a lot. I think it's one of the worst fields for traction."

    8. Norm Cash (outfielder, White Sox, Tigers, 1958-74)
    By his own account, Cash used a corked bat during the 1961 season, a breakout year he never came close to duplicating. In '61, Cash led the AL in batting with a .361 average, hit 41 homers and drove in 132 runs. After he retired, he demonstrated for SI how he doctored his bat by drilling an eight-inch hole in the barrel, filling it with glue, cork and sawdust.

    9. Graig Nettles (3B, OF, Twins, Indians, Yankees, Padres, Braves, Expos, 1967-88)
    On Sept. 7, 1974, the Yankees' Graig Nettles hit a home run against the Detroit Tigers. The next time up, he hit a broken-bat single. Tigers catcher Bill Freehan scrambled for the six superballs that came bouncing out. "I didn't know there was anything wrong with the bat," Nettles said after the game. "That was the first time I used it. Some Yankees fan in Chicago gave it to me and said it would bring me good luck. There's no brand name on it or anything. Maybe the guy made it himself. It had been in the bat rack, and I picked it up by mistake, because it looked like the bat I had been using the last few days." Nettles was called out on the single, but his solo homer was allowed and the made all the difference as the Yankees won 1-0.

    10. Amos Otis (OF, DH, Mets, Royals, Pirates, 1967-1984)
    After retiring, Otis, a five-time All-Star who hit 193 career home runs, admitted that he used a funky bat much of his career. "I had enough cork and superballs in there to blow away anything," he said. "I had a very close friend who made the bats for me. He'd drill a hole down the barrel and stuff some superballs and cork in it. Then he put some sawdust back into the hole, sandpapered it down and added a little pine tar over the top of it. The bat looked brand new."

    Also receiving votes

  • George Brett (3B, DH, 1B, Royals, 1973-93)
    On July 24, 1983, at Yankee Stadium, George Brett of the Kansas City Royals came to bat with the Royals down, 4-3. He slammed a two-run tater off of Goose Gossage, giving the Royals the lead. By the time Brett had made it to the dugout, though, Yankee manager Billy Martin (acting on the advice of Graig Nettles, who, perhaps prompted by the superball incident, had read the rulebook) was protesting to home plate umpire Tim McClelland. McClelland asked for Brett's bat, examined it while conferring with his crew, and then called Brett out for having too much pine tar on his bat. According to the rules then, pine tar and similar substances couldn't be higher than 18 inches from the bat handle; Brett's bat was covered up to 19 or 20 inches. After the enraged Brett had been ejected for arguing the unusual call, the Yankees went on to win 4-3. The Royals protested the game, and AL president Lee McPhail overturned McClelland's ruling, reinstating Brett's homer.

  • Preacher Roe (pitcher, Cardinals, Pirates, Dodgers, 1938-54)
    While playing, Roe, who went 22-3 for Brooklyn in 1951, said, "I got three pitches: my change; my change off my change; and my change off my change off my change." After his career ended, he came clean in an SI article entitled, "The Outlawed Spitball Was My Money Pitch."

  • Rick Honeycutt (pitcher, Mariners, Rangers, Dodgers, A's, Yankees, Cardinals, 1977-97)
    When pitching for the Mariners against the Royals on Sept. 30, 1980, Honeycutt taped a thumbtack to his finger to cut the ball. Willie Wilson, after hitting a double, spotted the tack from second base. When the umps came out to have a look, they not only found the tack, but also a gash in Honeycutt's forehead -- he had rubbed his face absentmindedly, almost poking his eye out in the process.

    "I should have known right then that it wasn't going to work," he later said. "It didn't do anything for me. I didn't know what I was doing at the time. I only did it once and I did it badly and got caught at it. I was really struggling at the time. We were getting ready to go out onto the field, and I passed a bulletin board and there was a tack in it. I put it on the middle finger of my glove hand." Honeycutt was ejected, suspended for 10 games, and fined $250.

  • Don Sutton (pitcher, Dodgers, Astros, Brewers, Angels, A's, 1966-88)
    Late in his career, Sutton was often accused of scuffing. In 1978 he was ejected and suspended 10 days for defacing the ball, but when he threatened to sue the National League, he was let off. Was teammates with Gaylord Perry for a while. "He gave me a tube of Vaseline," joked Sutton. "I thanked him and gave him a piece of sandpaper." Umpires took the allegations seriously, and sometimes gave him a good going over. Once, he left a note inside his glove for the men in black. It said, "You're getting warm, but it's not here."

  • Kevin Gross (pitcher, Phillies, Expos, Dodgers, Rangers, Angels, 1983-97)
    Gross, pitching for the Phillies against the Cubs on Aug. 10, 1987, was caught with sandpaper in his glove and suspended for 10 games. The glove was confiscated by MLB. Three years later, he called the commissioner's office to ask for the glove back.

  • Billy Hatcher (OF, Cubs, Astros, Pirates, Reds, Red Sox, Phillies, Rangers, 1984-95)
    Hatcher, playing for the Astros against the Cubs on Aug. 31, 1987, broke his bat and it flew down the third base line. Cubs third baseman Keith Moreland saw cork, and Hatcher was suspended for 10 games.

    Hatcher later said he was using pitcher Dave Smith's bat, not his own. "Dave used the same model bat I did, a C243. I ran out of my bats and Dave said, 'Billy, you can use one of mine.' He told me to take it out of the bat rack instead of the bat bag. I looked in the bat bag and noticed that he had some C243s with some wide grain so I grabbed one of those. If I had known it was corked, I would have tried to swing, but the first two times at the plate that game I tried to bunt. When it broke, I had gotten a hit."

  • Wilton Guerrero (2B, SS, OF, Dodgers, Expos, Reds, 1996-present)
    On June 1, 1997, the Dodgers rookie led off against the Cards in St. Louis by grounding out. His broken bat shattered, and when he scrambled to pick up the pieces instead of running it out, the umpires became suspicious. The bat had been corked. Guerrero was ejected, suspended for eight games, and fined $1,000.

  • Brian Moehler (pitcher, Tigers, 1996-present)
    Moehler, pitching against the Devil Rays on May 1, 1999, had a tough time in the first two innings, giving up three runs. The next four innings, he was very effective, allowing just one hit as the ball danced around the Devil Rays' bats.

    When Tampa Bay manager Larry Rothschild complained, home plate umpire Larry Barnett investigated -- and found sandpaper taped to the thumb of Moehler's pitching hand. Moehler was ejected and suspended for 10 games. Moehler said it was dirt, not sandpaper, on his thumb, but didn't appeal. Tigers' manager Larry Parrish issued a non-denial denial. "There's not a pitching staff in baseball that doesn't have a guy who defaces the ball ... If the umpires want to check things like that, I think half to three-quarters of the league would be suspended, including some Tampa Bay Devil Rays," Parrish said.

  • Lew Burdette (pitcher, Yankees, Braves, Cardinals, Cubs, Phillies, Angels, 1950-67)
    Burdette threw sliders, sinkers, and spitters -- either that, or he had an extraordinary range of nervous tics. He denied accusations that he doctored the ball: "I don't throw a spitter, but I can teach you how to throw one since you asked." He also said the suspicions gave him an advantage. "Let them think I throw it. That gives me an edge because it's another pitch they have to worry about."

  • Nels Potter (pitcher, Cardinals, A's, Red Sox, Browns , Braves, 1936-49)
    In 1944, Nels Potter was one of the most effective pitchers in baseball, and he was a key to the Browns pennant-winning season, going 19-7. Potter also became, in 1944, the first pitcher to be suspended for throwing a spitball. On July 20, pitching against the Yankees, he ignored umpire Cal Hubbard's warning against wetting his fingers before going to the resin bag, and was tossed and suspended for 10 games. Potter denied throwing the spitter.

  • Maury Wills (manager, Seattle Mariners, 1980-81)
    On April 25, 1981, Wills told the Kingdome groundskeepers to enlarge the batter's box by a foot. A's manager Billy Martin noticed. "Martin showed umpire Bill Kunkel before the game the Kingdome batter's box is seven feet long instead of the prescribed six!" wrote Byron Rosen in the Washington Post. "And the extra foot is out toward the pitcher! Wills said it was not a big deal, a couple of inches, not a foot, just a little groundskeeping alteration he ordered because Mariner Tom Paciorek has been stepping out of the box when he hit. Martin noted, though, that he had breaking-ball pitcher Rick Langford working that night and batters being able to move up a foot in the box could cut at pitches before the curve broke." Said AL umpirin supervisor Dick Butler, "That's like setting the bases 88 feet apart instead of 90." A "shocked and dumbfounded" Wills was suspended for two games and fined $500.

    *

  •  

    *  The asterisk after the article means the article was written by ESPN. Any other interpretation of the asterisk or any association with any persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

     

  •    The Daily News

    http://www.topeverything.com/Default.aspx?p=showcontent&ID=159

    1  Last night I got so tired that when I began writing the DN I thought talking about my day would be interesting.

    2  Then I thought about it, and there was utterly nothing interesting going on yesterday.

    3  I had written about twenty different things for the DN, and none of it really had anything to say.

    4  But as always, right around 10:30 p.m. I began to drift off, which happens most nights.

    5  I tried prying my eyes open with toothpicks, but it was a losing battle.

    6  I began thinking of a short cut for today's DN.

    7  I KNEW I'd be asleep and unable to hit the deadline, but I just have this thing that the DN must make it to doorsteps.

    8  So here was the plan.

    9  I was going to go to Google and punch in "Copy Machine Butt Shots" and see if there actually was one.

    10  Then I was going to just do that as today's DN.

    11  Instead, here are the pictures that came up on that particular Google on that particular night:

    butt 1 bird butt 6 cowpokesbutt 4 cupid butt 2 big butt

    butt 8 uh yepbutt 7

    butt 3 JFKbutt 3 JFKbutt 3 JFKbutt 3 JFK

    12  Yep.

    13  That's JFK you see there.

    14  That's the one where the driver did it.

    15  I really thought an actual butt shot would be a perfect Frideee fun shot.

    16  As you can see, this collection is nothing of the sort.

    17  Anyway, I wouldn't revolve an entire DN around copy machine butt shots, now would I?

    18  Nah.

    19  You have a great weekend.

    20  Peace.

     

    ~H~

     

    cool guy

    http://www.xanga.com/bharrington

     

     

  •  heidi 1 johanna spyri

     The Daily News

    1  I officially threw down the gauntlet yesterday.

    2  After putting last night's DN to bed, I sneaked onto my El_Directore Xanga site and added a new Xanga.

    3  It was weird doing that again, but also pretty enjoyable.

    4  Weird because it measured how far life has taken us, how far from those days we've roamed, but enjoyable because of the familiar.

    5  There's a lot to be said for every now and again connecting with the familiar.

    heidi 2 gauntlet  

    6  Those were fun days, and last night I even got a call from good ol' Sparky thanking me for mentioning his Xanga.

    7  Hey, love ya man!

    8  Well, everything turned out okay yesterday. I made up for my incompetence the day before by helping those I "incompeted".

    9  So all was laughter and sunny skies once more.

    10  Except I also never wrote a basketball game on my calendar. While I was busily writing in the DN about how I was messing things up, a game came and went. People poured into the gym thankful that they didn't have to pay, and I was praised for giving back to the community.

    11  Actually, I just didn't know there was a game.

    12  Ah, whatchu gonna do? Good ol' me.

    13  Moving on: I found out in a random e-mail the other day that YB has a new director, and I think it might be this guy from AMTSJ.  I remember Rocha mentioning the guy and that they were impressed with him. I'll keep you posted about the miracle of YB Drama these days, but for the record, last year's students kept the plays alive, and this year it looks like they've taken it to the next level.

    14  So if you're a YB Drama student, you guys kick some ass for all the alumni out there. We're SO proud of you! Just know that.

    15  Do you guys ever feel like ghosts?

    16  ;  )  <------------- sideways winky-guy tacit wink

    17  Sometimes, man.

    18  Speaking of ghosts, yesterday I was escorting a group of students into our theatre and as they were going in, someone said, "It's dark!"

    19  I said, "Ah, that's the way the ghost likes it."

    20  Silence.

    21  "Didn't I tell you I brought a ghost with me from YB?"

    22  At that very second, I tripped going up some steps in the theatre and smashed my sore finger into a rail, dead on.

    23  It was so violent that it opened up the wound and cleaned it almost completely out.

    24  Not trying to be gross there, but it leaked blood and stuff, and deflated considerably, and all the pressure and pain dispappeared.

    25  Heidi fixes things...hmmm....

    26  You don't think...

    27  Nah.

    28  Just remember the story of my first day ever at Evergreen. Just as I reached Ruby, the street just before the school, a car pulled in front of me, causing me to slow down.

    29  The license plate read "High T 2".

    30  My finger is healing wonderfully.

    31  Whew.

    32  See ya again.

    33  Peace.

    xanga 9 mars

    ~H~

     

    cool guy

    http://www.xanga.com/El_Directore

     

     

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