January 22, 2008
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1 So...Bobby Fischer, Heath Ledger, Allan Melvin, AND Suzanne Pleshette all crowd into a bar...
2 And by association, so do Ellen Hartley, Sam the Butcher AND Magilla Gorilla.
3 Bam.
4 Well, Fischer was perhaps the most interesting because he really believed everyone was out to get him, especially the Russians. He lived his last year purportedly as somewhat of an Anti-Semitic madman and complete misanthrope.
5 That is, of course, according to the Wall Street Journal, another Rupert Murdoch-owned institution, which means it's probably all boushit anyway.
6 I've given up caring on most of that.
7 But Suzanne Pleshette and Allan Melvin had nothing but good press.
8 And Magilla Gorilla. Gone but not forgotten.
9 Heath Ledger was the strangest. Found naked, face down, like Marilyn Monroe. I'm not trying to be silly here, but why do so many celebrities die naked face down? How often are YOU naked, face down on the floor? It may be best if we move on.
10 Moving on: Did you ever procrastinate? That's the great accepted sin that we all do. I've been meaning to write a piece about procrastination for around eight years now.
11 So, here we go. I think I broke my record for procrastination over this last four days.
12 Because I do procrastinate, I had lots of papers to grade, and STILL procrastinated because once that happens, once you decide to stop procrastinating, it can become a daunting task, sort of like cleaning out all your miscellaneous files and REALLY organizing them this time.
13 Or getting into your junk drawer and throwing away the four thousand dime bags of nuts, screws, bolts, old film, dead pens, and sandy, crusty things that seem to find a home in those places.
14 I have around sixty projects just waiting for the day I have a litte time: light fixtures, plugs, wind-blown cable receivers, seventy-thousand unlabeled boxes in the garage, and what to do with the six dog leashes hanging on a hook by the front door.
15 I WILL ultimately get to all this stuff, but I have other things to do.
16 Like moving back and forth to the refrigerator, walking into one room and then another, and then forgetting why, finally shuffling back to the couch and throwing a blanket over meself, checking out that one lengthy toenail that somehow I missed.
17 But before I do any of that, I have to make a little ramen and write the DN.
18 First things first.
19 Who just died? Is it in Snopes? Is it true? Maybe it's a conspiracy. I think I'll cruise the web. E-mails. That's right. Gotta get to those. I haven't checked them. While I'm there, I think I'll take a gander at my My Space, which is a forgotten planet. Hmmm. You Tube has this great little version of some guy who must have a thousand fingers playing While My Guitar Gently Weeps on a ukelele. I'd better get to that. and check it out. I should call mom and boushit about football. I need Starbucks.
20 Where are my shoes?
21 I've lost my harmonica, Albert.
22 Know what? Today you should just take care of YOU.
23 But first you should take care of the plates in the sink.
24 I gotta work out.
25 I'm all over it.
26 I'm on it man.
27 I can't wait to get back to work.
28 But first I have to grade those papers. The guilt.
29 Gottago.
30 Peace man.
~H~
http://www.xanga.com/bharrington
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