January 18, 2008
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1 How come everything has 99 cents tagged onto it?
2 Ever since I was born. This is $1.99. Oh, that wil be $5.99. Ah, shopping for presents? I know where you can get a nice jacket for $29.99.
3 We even have a 99 cents or less store.
4 You know that singer, 50 Cent? He oughta give himself a raise and make it 59 Cent.
5 Moving on: Did they always have two Zambonis?
6 Moving on, part deux: Last night we were talking about coaches and ties.
7 My daughter Nicole is becoming a Sharks’ fan and was wondering why all coaches wear ties. I wondered if they always had two Zambonis.
8 I also let her know that all coaches don’t wear ties, and that some coaches wear the team uniform, like all baseball coaches, including the 83-year old ball boys.
9 I remember this friend of mine, Brian, who suggested that all coaches should wear uniforms, sort of a King Arthur thing.
10 It’d be great. Instead of ties, basketball coaches would be wearing shorts and wifebeaters while yelling at referees. It would add an element of humor.
11 Watching NFL coaches strutting the sidelines like macabre XFL rejects would be great, especially if they get doused with Gatorade and carried out on the team’s shoulders. That’s right out of Mad Magazine.
12 Can you imagine some Russian ice dancing coach glancing sourly over at the judges while wearing a tutu with a large bow?
13 Well. Nice to see SOME teevee writers are still working. Last night Letterman brought up the item about Lisa del Gioncondo, the Mona Lisa, and evidently she was a bit round of heels. Letterman said she saw more ceilings than Michaelangelo.
14 Bam.
15 It’s Friday, and we already have four days off here, if you include the weekend. This means no DN for Monday or Tuesday = ( <——–cheesy sideways sad guy
16 Semester break.
17 I know what yer sayin’. Where do I sign up? This usually includes around 35 hours of grading papers, staple cuts on the lips, papers all over the place, calling perfectly nice people human knuckleheads at around 1 a.m., screaming at papers with no names, and doing one final all-nighter in order to hit your deadline.
18 That’s just the way I roll.
19 I love that one. “Hey, that’s the way I roll.”
20 Covers a multitude of sins.
21 Pardone mois.
22 Anyway, I think I’m just gonna roll outta here. Here’s a parting shot, not a 99 at the end, but at least a 9/10th, and a cheapo laugh.
23 See ya Wednesday.
24 Peace.
~H~
http://www.xanga.com/bharrington
