December 4, 2007

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    The Daily News
    confused 1 kid
    1  You know what's funny?

    2  When your basic daily routine gets interrupted.

    3  I'm constantly amazed at how I completely shut down when a schedule change happens, or when someone else needs the computer, or when a car goes down.

    4  It's as though we can't even begin to function on any sort of normal level.

    5  That happened last night.

    6  I got home and my daughter was sitting where I usually sit to do the DN.

    7  I began writing the DN around six feet from where I normally write it, but it was virtually impossible.

    8  I felt left-handed, or  like I was in the wrong world.
     
    oz h
    9  Yeah, I just looked. It was literally a matter of six feet.

    10  I felt like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz or something.

    11  My entire perspective of the world had switched. The teevee was straight on, and  the dog looked at me from the other side.

    12  Just weird.

    13  Couldn't think.

    14  Had to pretend all was well, and that it was a simple matter of location.

    15  But sometimes we get yanked out of our comfort zones.

    16  Yeah, that's the modern buzz word for it. Time, as it were, grabs us by the proverbial wrist...

    17  We become all confused and different, can't think straight, and as Kurt Vonnegut once put it regarding the madness of his son Mark, it's a lot like sneezing into soapflakes, or some such thing.

    18  I absolutely couldn't do it.

    19  I couldn't get myself to write the DN. I completely shut down.

    20  I set my laptop on the floor and figured I could just doze for a sec until this all blew over. I certainly didn't want to disturb someone while they were in the middle of a project.

    21  I just set the laptop on the floor to take a bit of a nap.

    22  What was weird was that I fell into a deep, deep sleep, you know those kind when you're going through some sort of clinical depression?

    23  Yeah, like that.

    24  Funny.

    25  Woke up around 12:30 a.m. and everyone was out of the room. The laptop remained on the floor. Kitchen dishes stood undone.

    26  And the DN hadn't even begun.

    27  It was an interesting experiment in that I've had that sort of thing happen when I've been deeply depressed, yet last night nothing had gone wrong. Life had been fine.

    28  It just  my comfortable routine switched dramatically on me and all my systems shut completely down, as though programmed to do that when strange changes occur.

    29  Lesson learned: sometimes we get pulled out of our comfortable worlds, and our minds can't deal with the change. We get depressed beyond recognition and unable to function.

    30  And instead of just accepting it as a small change requiring a simple adjustment, we shut ourselves down, climb into a world of sleep, and just want the covers pulled over our heads.

    31  I really wasn't sad or anything though. I had all the symptoms of depression yet wasn't depressed.

    32  Once it was all over, I simply picked up the laptop and wrote the DN in around thirty seconds.

    33  Life came in and took care of it. I survived pretty easily. I had to do the DN differently, but it got done, and I felt perfectly normal.

    34  I'm not trying to go deep here. I just think that somewhere I figured something out about when we get depressed and can't deal with things.

    35  In most cases, it's just a matter of waiting it out; the symptoms blow over and later on we just ask, "What was all THAT about?"

    36  That's about it.

    37  Just thought I'd share that. It's almost worth thinking about because I think I've discovered a minor cure for depression.

    38  You just might be viewing the world from an uncomfortable angle.

    39  It'll blow.

    40  So look up at the sky, give yourself some strength, and realize that all things must pass.

    41  Goin' deep despite meself, I imagine.

    42  Life just got better.  <IMG

    43  Peace.
     
    confused 9 hope

    ~H~
     
    8-)
     
     

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