Month: November 2007

  • gore 18 musical notes gore 18 musical notes  gore 9 tgif  

     The Daily News

    gore 1 party

    1  I don't know about anyone else around here, but I LOVE Fridays. They're total goof-off days. I'd dub Fridays G.O.D.'s (Goof-Off Days) but it's borderline sacrilegious.

    2  I'm VERY tolerant of borderline sacrilegious though.

    3  So I just want to spend today celebrating life, knowing full well that we all generally get a little breathing room right around noon on a Friday.

    gore 2 party 2

    4  Let's face it. NOBODY TAKES FRIDAYS SERIOUSLY!!!! <Music up> Whether you're  mother or whether you're a brother you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.

    gore 6 business guy tgif

    gore 8 popper

    gore 4 snoopy and company

    gore 7 fireworks

    gore 17 bush baby

    5  Fridays baby!!!

    6  I'll bet even the Pope himself goofs off right after lunch on Fridays!!!

    7  Well, almost all Fridays.

    8  It's that reason and that reason alone that I would never be Pope. Besides, I'm way not good enough. You have to be pure to be a Pope. You have to be infallible. You practically have to be a guy who could stand in a window and watch as the throngs cheer!!!

    gore 9 pope i pod!

    9  You have to be pretty fly to be a Pope.

    gore 9 pope
    Pope Benedict. Notice the snappy watch.
    Our people say that's pretty fly.

    9  Plus Pope's have to have distinguished names, like John, or Benedict, or Pius or something. You never hear of a guy named Pope Gary, or a Pope Larry, or anything like that. And if there's ever a girl Pope, her name would be Mary, or Elizabeth or something. You'll never see a Pope Gertrude, or a Pope Madge. Won't happen.

    10  Moving on:  Was I just hallucinating, or did I hear on the radddio that we are nine trillion dollars in debt?  Is that correct? Is that even remotely accurate?

    11  Obviously I already knew the answer, but I just wanted to pretend I was outraged beyond all belief. Actually I'm so numb to so much boushit these days that I couldn't care less. Honestly. These guys do whatever they want anyway.

    12  Besides, we have the mint. We can just MAKE money, right?

    13  The weird thing about that is that I went through every page of the Merc yesterday and not one mention or the nine trill. I went to MSN and AOL, and no mention.

    14  Nine trillion dollars. How did that even BEGIN to happen? I have my idears...

    15  That's what happens when you have a President in power who still hasn't moved past My Pet Goat.

    gore 13 bush

    16  Sometimes I think there IS a child left behind.

    gore 15 bush idiot

    17  Whoops! They he go into politix agin!

    18  Better back outta here.

    19  Nah, Dubya's a good ol' boy, Yale guy, and a Skull-and-Boner. I hear he throws the beer cans into the back of his truck instead of out on the highway. The boy's gone green, little buckaroo.

    20  He knows what Friday is about.

    gore 15 rodeogore 15 rodeogore 15 rodeogore 15 rodeogore 15 rodeo

    21  Ride high man, it's Frideeee!!! Don't take anything I have to say seriously. I'm all about nobody working after lunch, and just kickin' it into party mode tonight! All this work is for the birds. Free yourself, let your hair down, fly freely, and shake it this weekend!  

    22  Turn off the teevee and get out there mang. There's a whole world outsida teevee and it's just waitin' for you.  

    23   See a play! Go to a museum! Bicycle! Do a little dance! Any Mitch Hedberg fans out there? Here, let's jump start your day:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDxBUoCN6MQ

    24   Haha, and ladies and gents: most of all, live life, love life today!

    25   Have a great one. Thanksgiving's just around the corner so hang in there everybody!

    26   Peace.

    ~H~

     

    cool guy

    http://www.xanga.com/bharrington

  •  The Daily News

    cat 1 hat cat 3 kucinich

    1  Those of you going through a personal boycott of television, kudos.

    2   Not really very easy to do. It takes a conscientious effort.

    3   Yeah, like not hitting the clicker the second your ass hits the cushions.

    4    Meanwhile, I'll try to help with suggestions.

    5    Like you could go to that Art exhibit downtown, the one with real human muscles and faces and stuff.

    6   Is it just me or is that just plain creepy?

    7   Uh...artsy Hannibal boy...not on my watch.

    8   That guy is gonna assemble a dead elephant next.

    9    Yeesh.

    10   That's just a little too borderline psycho for me, and I have a pretty high threshold for borderline psycho, but that stuff just disturbs me.

    11  Personal opinion.  Actually, personal feelings.

    12  Moving on:  If you're really that pathetic that you can't get your ass up off the couch, then have I got a show for you.

    13   The other night I got an e-mail from Angie Higgins. Seems that the Santa Clara Players will present Steel Magnolias for two more weeks! Angie directed, so most of you know of her talents.

    14   The show is located at the Triton Museum Hall Pavilion at the corner of Warburton and Don in Santa Clara tonight, tomorrow night, and Saturday night at 8 p.m. It also runs next Thursday, Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m. There will be a matinee on Sunday, November 11 at 2:30 p.m. Tickets are $15 for general, but there are discounts for seniors and students. Go to http://www.scplayers.org for more info.

    15  Man,when's the last time you went to a SHOW?

    16  Be a man. Just turn off the teevee and go.

    17  Moving on:  Kucinich says Impeach Cheney. How come the only guy who wants to run the Repubz out of office looks like a watered-down version of the Cat-in-the-Hat?

    18  I'll stay outta politix right now. Too easy.

    19  But it was pretty funny watching Kucinich try to do ANYTHING.

    20  Pop goes the weasel.

    21  I"d better git while the gittin's good.

    22  Turn of your television.

    23  Go see a play. Or if it floats your boat, go see those dead body parts, I don't care.

    24  Play some old records.

    25  You guys enjoy your day; I'm tired of being so demanding.

    26   I'm gonna make like bread and roll.

    27   Peaceout homies.

    ~H~

     

    cool guy

    http://www.xanga.com/bharrington

     

  • ruth 9 houses of the holy ruth 6 album whipped creamruth 4 disreali gears ruth 6 album cover 2 The Daily News

    1  Don Shula, the former Miami Dolphins coach who had the only undefeated team in NFL history, claims that because the New England Patriots were spying on other teams, that any records they set should have an asterisk.

    2  Don, you think it might be because that team has a chance of tying YOUR record?

    3  You can usually figure out someone's agenda, boy.

    4   Let it go big guy.

    5   Moving on:  Personally I'd like to see a great big asterisk next to Babe Ruth's records, since he did it with booze, fast wimminz, and SEE-gars.

    ruth 3 the sultan of swat
    The Sultan of Swat: The immortal
    Babe Ruth

    6   The Bambino used to pitch when he was with the Red Sox. His best pitch is alleged to be, "What's cookin' good lookin'?"

    7   Ah, tarnished records. I choose to avoid that topic today lest my own long list of amazing records somehow winds up with an asterisk.

    8   Actually I still have some pretty tarnished records, nothing I'm proud of, but a few.

    9   I have a Neil Diamond's greatest hits that is in pretty awesome condition.

    10  There's a reason for that.

    ruth 8 neil diamond
    The surreal Neil: never one of my
     favorites. The hairdo man. Hilarious.
    Needless to say, pristine condition.

    11  I actually stumbed upon it around a week ago. It survived the great vinyl annhilation of around a decade or so ago. Go figure.

    12  I kept hanging on to all my records. They were always so much more fun to buy and to open than the CD's, or however people get their music nowadays. Then one day I just decided to throw away boxloads of albums. Musty, scratchy and dusty, they all departed in one trip to the dumps.

    13  Albums.

    14  We called them "albums" and if you THOUGHT you knew albums, you bought the stereo versions of songs. If you KNEW albums, you bought the mono versions, which were much more pure and closer to the way the artists wanted them to sound.

    ruth 14 december's children mono

    15  Anyway, they came enclosed in cellophane that you could either tear open, or even leave on, without fear of cutting yourself with a knife because you're trying to get the scraps of tape off a CD case.

    ruth 9 classic album covers
    How many of these classic albums can you name?

    16  We never called them "vinyl" although I do find that to be an endearing term.

    17  And yes, most of my records wound up tarnished.

    ruth 8 beatles banned album cover
    The ultimate tarnished record. This cover of the Beatles Yesterday
    and Today album was banned. Capitol Records responded with a new cover
     pasted over this one,which caused people to steam off the new one, making this an instant
     collector's item.
    The steam, of course, warped the album cover permanently. You were the
    man if you had this one, all warped and twisted. The newer cover was way more
    tame, and to many, much less angry and artistic. Here is what Capitol execs
    changed it to:

    ruth 16 yesterday and today 
    Pretty darned weak.




    18  Albums. Musty, wonderful, made to be played over and over again. They would scratch, skip, pop, and could change form within an hour.

    19  A few of them left out in the sun would become so warped that the needle would float up and down like a surfboard after the surfer got eaten by a shark.

    ruth 7 warped record

    20  Something. Sun and fun. I'd even try to play them that way, in hopes that somehow, they still could. Once in a while one would be able to ride the needle with grace and dignity.

    21  Ah, modern deejays still use "vinyl" but they're really a sham. There's not too much left of the days when a new album would come out, and you'd run to the record store and grab one of the first copies.

    22  Gone are the glory days. Babe Ruth died of cancer from a little too much celebration in life. His records have fallen by an entire generation of pumped up lunkheads. 

    23  My own records have warped and tarnished with time, and most all of them have disappeared like lousy metaphors. But with a heart, to be sure. Somewhere in all this nonsense is something. Not sure what. But albums man. Records. Pure. Tarnished, yes, but aren't we all a little?  

    24  Some fun.

    25  I think I'm going to blow the little dust there is off this Neil Diamond album.

    26  I'm getting pretty weary of modern times.

    27  Meanwhile, I have to wonder what the greatest album ever was, or is...

    28  It's not the surreal Neil, I'll tellya that much.

    29  It's Wednesday. Think I'll try to fly under the radar and get home early.

    30  I have a hot date with Sweet Caroline.

    31  Hope you have a record-setting day.

    32  Peace.

    ruth 5 album cover

     

    ~H~

     

    cool guy

    http://www.xanga.com/bharrington

     

     

     

     

  •   

    noooo 13 take a bathnoooo 2 bike noooo 8 learn swahili

    The Daily News

    1  Wait a minute!

    2  There's a teevee writers' strike?

    3

    noooo 1 secret asian man

    4   How will we survive?

    5   How will we KNOW if it's a re-run of Law and Order or not?

    6   HOW CAN THE DN KEEP GOING WITHOUT ALL THAT NOISE BLARING IN THE BACKGROUND????

    7   What will people do?????????

    8   Watch idiotic reality shows?????!!!!???

    9   They could follow the latest exploits of some Hollywood idiot...

    10  There's always sports. Niners. Raiders. Go Man Go.

    11  Hmmmm.

    12  My guess is that hardly anyone out there will notice.

    13  Sad for the writers, who clearly majored in the wrong thing.

    14  Imagine being a good television writer. Leno and Letterman are probably pretty funny anyway, but the writers SURE make a LOT of other people look good.

    15  Honestly, if you wanna support the writers, there's an "off" button.

    16   Or, you can follow some of these helpful hints. For your viewing pleasure, here is a list of things you can do other than watch teevee. Easy stuff! Have fun on this mini-journey to self-actualization. INSTEAD OF WASTING TIME ON TEEVEE, DO SOME OF THESE THINGS:

    • Ride a bike

    noooo 2 bike

    • Take an art class

    noooo 3 Dali
    Oh well Hello Dali!

    • Go to a museum

    nooo 4 museumnoooo 4 peter max

    • Learn a little yo

    noooo 5 yo

     

    • Learn how to square dance

    noooo square dancers

    • Take a sledge hammer to  something

    noooo 6 sledge

    • Learn to knit

    noooo 7 knittingnoooo 7 knittingnoooo 7 knitting

    • Stay in bed

    nooo 7 stay in bed

    • Read a book

    nooo 6 read a book

    • Practice Swahili

    nooooo 10 kenya

    • You can't go wrong picking up a lyre

    noooo 11 lutes

    • Take a bath

    noooo 13 take a bathnoooo 13 take a bathnoooo 13 take a bath

    • Toast a friend or three

    nooooo 15 toast a friend

    live life.

    love life.

    peace.

     

    ~H~

     

    cool guy

    http://www.xanga.com/bharrington

     

  • soup 2 marilyngoulet 4 bath

    goulet 2 buster keaton

    The Daily News

    1  I KNOW the coincidence stuff can get ridiculous, but I can't see NOT commenting on that fun one on Friday. It was a little after I had sent Friday's DN to y'all when I opened this book called The Daily Spark right to a page entitled Starry Night.

    soup 4 spark

    2  I had just predicted in the DN that a coincidence was just around the corner when that happened. 

    3  I hadn't reported a couple of others, but perhaps for the record it might be a lark. Last Tuesday, for example, I had purchased tickets to The Jersey Boys at the Curran Theatre in San Francisco.  That was the night before I was to begin the regular local ghost stories for my classes. I had been looking for a book called Haunted Houses of California by Antoinette May so I could review the Toys 'R' Us Sunnyvale "haunting". I couldn't find the book the day before, but that night I finally found it.

    soup 3 haunted

    4  I just opened it randomly and the page it turned to jumped out at me.

    5  The page was entitled Curran Theatre. I just opened the book and that was the page.

    6  Fast-forward to Halloween morning.  At a management meeting, one of the routine topics that came up was that the Emergency Cards we need to fill out had disappeared, and we were going to need to tell the staff they needed to get new ones.

    7  Of course, it occurred to me that the last one I filled out was a couple of years ago, and I ALWAYS fill one out and never get it in. So I just sort of thumped my head, but was glad I never got it in, because they would have lost it anyway.

    8  On Friday I when I was trying to get a journal idea, I looked around my bookshelf for books that might help. I spotted a Mensa book and pulled it down from the shelf. I really hadn't even thought of the book in quite some time.

    9  There was a piece of paper folded into it. I opened the book and noticed the piece of paper was folded in half and stapled at the top. I pulled it out of the book, pulled the staple out and unfolded it.

    10  It was my Emergency Card from 2004-5.

    11  What am I, David Blaine?

    12  I didn't even want to TELL those stories until after the Daily Spark thing for fear of overkill.

    13  You can't make this kinda crap up.

    14  Well, I couldn't wait to show my class, so I brought my notes from the meeting, the Mensa book, Mays' Haunted Houses book, AND the Daily Spark to the students. I had told them about the Starry Night stories so I just sort of bored them with Edgar Allan Poe's spectacularly unspectacular The Bells. Right when their heads were ready to turn to mush, I told them to put their books away and that we were going to finish the day with coincidence updates.

    15  Easy act to follow. I had a bag filled with all that nonsense, narrated what I just wrote, and they absolutely LOVED it! GREAT ending to a Friday Heidi week, and no homework to boot.

    16  I"m sorta wondering what standards I hit on No Child Left Behind. Oh yeah. The standard about ghosts, the one you can't see.

    17  Legends.

    18  For the record, I'll try not to continue with this thread, because as I told me old frind und confeeedahnt Goof, it's just pouring air out of a Dixie Cup after a while. He wrote and told me that it's a whole lotta humbug anyway, and that if you look carefully enough, you can "...see tits on a can of Campbell's soup."

    soup 1 warhol

    19  Oh, I imagine.

    20  Well, humbug or no, it's now officially on the record. I'll try to dump this one off on ybdrama.com if I can access it. It'd be nice to sort of finish up the Heidi Chronz, although it clearly is a story that just continues...

    21  And right when you think it's safe to go back into the Theatre...

    22  Instant Karma.

    23  Gonna knock you right off your feet.

    24  Have a gorgeous day.

    25  Peace.

    soup 6 lennon

     

    ~H~

     

    cool guy

    http://www.xanga.com/bharrington

     

     

     

  • lovebirds 4 aquarium lovebirds 8 paparazzi  The Daily News 


    lovebirds 7 coincidences

    1  The fun thing about writing the DN is that I always have the teevee blaring in the background, just for some much-needed noise in my nervewracking life.

    2  If it's too quiet, I start going through spiritual awakenings and OBE's and stuff.

    3  So having an obnoxiously loud teevee keeps me typing and writing and not thinking.

    4  I also get to glance at all sorts of obnoxious things on teevee.

    5  Last night, for example, this show called The Insider jack-hammered me with news about how obnoxious the paparazzi is to Britney, or to Oprah, even though when you really think about it, they ARE the paparazzi.

    lovebirds 5 paparazzi

    6  I gotta love it.

    Moving on: I gave my Leadership kids a little too much credit the other day. They still haven't exhibited too much soul  or certainty about anything outside of themselves. Too bad, lots of potential but way too many of the self-centered for them to really "get it" quite yet. Still working on it. Sacrificing for the greater good seems a foreign concept. Me first appears to be the order of the day. Too bad. Their loss.

    8  Moving on, Part 2:  First off, right as I was typing "Part 2" The Insider chick said the words "Part 2" at exactly the same time. I don't even remember what "Part 2" was going to be anymore because it caught me off guard.

    9  Just another coincidence. The other day I was writing about coincidences and the time turned to 5:41. The thought crossed my mind that numerologically, that's a 1, but it's also a nine and a one, which are Heidi numbers. Just as that thought occurred to me, the radio, which also blares when I write, said, "Right when you thought it was safe to go back into the Theatre..."

    10  Ha.

    11  I seriously couldn't even begin to list the coincidences that fly at me on a daily basis anymore. I've become invulnerable almost. Either it's increased in the last few years, or I just notice it more. Either way, it's fun. Britney was out Halloweening with Heidi Klum. That was just reported. Is that a Heidi thing? It just came on as I was writing this.

    12  The answer is no. Too easy.

    13  For something really to be regarded as a bonafide Heidi trip, it needed some really amazing coincidence coupled with hearing the name Heidi on occasions surrounding the coincidence. That's my own rule of Heidi trips.

    14  So there are a great many more than I've ever reported, but it would move from the sublime to the excessively ridiculous if I even tried.

    15  And that's one of the great things about the Heidi stories. As many as have been reported, there are probably three to four times as many as I've even admitted to.

    16  And that doesn't include fantastical coincidences that don't have the name Heidi anywhere near them.

    lovebirds 2 starry night
    Vincent's Starry Night

    17  You might recall the Starry Night coincidences when I wrote the short play Lovebirds two years ago. It was the one that involved Vincent Van Gogh and Starry Night. The coincidences came fast and furious, but none had anything with any reference to a Heidi.

    lovebirds 1 Paul and Trinh in Lovebirds
    Paul Phu and Trinh Le in 2005's Lovebirds

    18  It involved me forgetting what ending I had planned on writing when I went to Camp Anytown, and on my return, trying to write it and still not remembering, clicking on the television on the night that the show Medium had a 3-D show featuring Van Gogh. The entire ending I had originally thought of had a huge reference to Van Gogh, and when I told Angie I wanted a Van Gogh look to my set, she told me that she was a Starry Night fan, and that both her VISA card and her My Space had Starry Night on them.

    19  A little while later, on a Sunday morning, I wanted to study a book by Dr. Wayne Dyer, couldn't find it, decided to turn on the teevee, and Dr. Dyer was on. After a pledge break, he came back, and there was a background with Van Gogh's Starry Night behind him. The reason I wanted to read the book was specifically to study the concept of coincidences, which Dr. Dyer frequently writes about.

     lovebirds 3  dr
    This picture was taken of the television screen. I knew I had
    caught a coincidence mid-flight. Dr. Dyer with a familiar background.

    20  By the way, when I say someone was on the teevee, I mean instantly, like without searching for channels. The Saturday that I returned from Camp Anytown, I had clicked on the teevee and the film Serendipity was on. That was pretty much after I had dropped the luggage from Anytown on the floor and just clicked on the teevee.

    21  The fun part of that one was that while at Camp Anytown, I had decided to stop paying attention to those coincidences and just move on with my life.

    22  You know how sometimes in life we go through a search for some sort of sign? It was during that period, right after the Class of '05 had departed that I needed something like that. Work hadn't become meaningless, but it was a tough adjustment, and I would look for some sort of sign. Lovebirds sprang from my soul during that period, but I just didn't know how to bring the play to a meaningful ending. I had thought of a great ending involving Van Gogh and Starry Night, but had forgotten the idea when I went to Camp Anytown. When I returned I couldn't for the life of me remember what I had come up with.

    23 When I came back from having done a tremendously spritual camp, I decided not to pay attention to coincidences and all that. I realized I could still be a great teacher, and that everyone deserved my best efforts, not one class. So I was going to have nothing to do with coincidences, signs, and that sort of thing.

    24  And the second I put down my luggage, Serendipity was on, a film all about coincidences. Mediocre John Cusack movie, but it definitely caught my attention, and about two days after it was over, I had decided to finish writing the play, got stuck EXACTLY where Vincent Van Gogh was to enter the scene, clicked on the teevee, and there was Medium with Van Gogh in full 3-D, delivering on a silver platter the ending I was trying to remember.

    25  Not one word nor mention of Heidi. But an amazing coincidence, especially since I was writing the ending from a spiral notebook, and watching the teevee at the same time. I even wrote how amazing it was in the liner notes of the script. I have the notebook, somewhere. But the second I saw the Van Gogh stuff, the ending wrote itself.

    26  Well I'd better pull outta this one before I go in too deep.

    27  Many of you who read the DN have been in on many, many other coincidences. It's always amazed me, and when I talk of it, it's difficult because it all just sounds so crazy.

    28  I've just been minding my own business while this stuff just continues to happen with astounding regularity. THAT'S the weird part.

    29  And I love it every time it happens.

    30  I see it's too much too often just to be coincidental, and therefore connects with a faith in something larger than all of this.

    31  And with that, I'll depart this lovely day.

    32  There may be another coincidence right around the next corner. Probably will be.

    33  Sometimes, they say, it's just the little things...

    34  You have a beautiful day.

    35  Peace.

     

    ~H~

    sunset 1

     

    cool guy

    http://www.xanga.com/bharrington

     

     

     

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